<p>Dear CC Community,</p>
<p>First post and possibly last on the forum, but it seemed to be the perfect community to discuss my college problems and to receive faceless advice before I cave in on my hunches and feelings to seek professional help.</p>
<p>Without further adieu:</p>
<p>I have problems, quickly escalating problems that I know are becoming worse. My physical health within the past 3 months has degraded significantly (I feel achy all the time, I can hardly justify eating/ or drinking sometimes because my stomach either cramps or becomes unsettled), my mental perception of myself has changed from the thought of being happy to appearing happy, and my emotional well-being has been unsteady (easy to aggravate, very emotional and sometimes disturbing dreams <em>never really had that in the past but now I feel like every other night has something shocking for me to feel or see</em>, thus sleep is aggravating.)</p>
<p>These problems are not helping me. As a freshman student at IUPUI, Indianapolis, and currently between majors, I am desperately trying to hang onto my scholarships. Sure, I am not even close to losing a single scholarship, it is the fact that these symptoms, as they persist, have depressed me (or vice versa depression causing symptoms, I don't know how I can classify my ailments but I just feel wrong) and will continue to impact my life. Nihilism even sounds like a comforting thought, but I need a life eventually -- a way to support myself and maybe others in the future and if life continues like this... well really, **** that. (Sorry for the informality)</p>
<p>I am currently on a 3.01 GPA, and I feel that this semester it will drop to 2.6-2.9. How do I know? I have yet to take finals and write some papers to determine final grades, but the issue is my motivation and hindsight of what I can prepare. I feel out of place, not physically but within me. </p>
<p>Then why haven't I gone to the plethora of helpers at hand yet? I have so many advisors, mentors, overseers, from the advisor who makes sure my schedule is okay, to my so called honor's mentor that oversees, nothing, and a mentor with a scholarship program and then they have an office full of "professionals" to help at risk students, but I don't feel comfortable/ honest to these strangers who could pass judgement. Let me be clear, I know they are not the right people to go to with the problems I am having.</p>
<p>I know these words; motivation, inspiration, perseverance, hard-work, dedication, etc. All attributes to good person. By no means, do not talk of talent or intelligence, I know I have these, I know in the past that I honed them, I came from an academy knowing full well that I was more prepared than 99% of High Schools. I, of course, have anecdotal evidence, but to the skeptics that rely on GPAs and standardized test scores I was 3.88, and 34? on the ACT.</p>
<p>So, I gave you a haphazard, semi-organized tale of my current situation. This has happened to me in the past where I feel stuck/ sick/ lost and luckily I caved in a lot earlier and was able to treat the situation by some comforting advice, but I have really really done it wrong now. I waited too long to conceive myself a ladder out of the hole I dug that is now self-perpetually digging itself. </p>
<p>So where is the problem? Any ideas, like earlier any anecdotal heart-warming motivational tales might help.</p>
<p>Signed,</p>
<p>distressed.</p>