<p>I think what was said upthread about really listening to your kid before helping them shape their college choices certainly has some validity. Only problem is, a 17-year-old’s major influence in that decision at that point in time is usually his/her friends, who for the most part are just as clueless. So from a parent’s perspective, this process of influence often takes on a subliminal aspect, much like the one-frame flash of ‘Coke’ within a movie to make viewers thirsty.</p>
<p>A mom & dad worth their salt has a pretty good idea in advance at what kind of school their child should succeed, and as the college visits start & for high ACT/SAT scorers the endless mailings arrive, the vision is honed. Not to say, of course, that the occasional curveball isn’t thrown… </p>
<p>I was all set to push our highly-ranked state flagship to D1 until she broke curfew–badly–the night before our college visit trip, and that rendered the visit almost useless because D1 was waiting the whole time for the inevitable grounding shoe to drop. Fun drive in the car, let me tell you. She ended up applying to that state flagship & was accepted, but for her it was never in the running because (I think) of that bad initial experience. She ended up at an adjacent OOS public and did fine.</p>
<p>For D2, I had thought that because she never had any inclination to party, and was enamored with the fine arts, reading & writing, that a small LAC would be just perfect for her for the hands-on experience, the intellectual discussions. So I said I’ve got THIS one pegged, and we set up a few LAC visits but before that did a spur-of-the-moment quickie tour at a highly-ranked OOS flagship in the next state. And it was in a blizzard, and on top of that it was a perennial top 10 party school. Of course she loved it, the other LAC’s didn’t measure up & that’s where she resides now, happy as a clam.</p>
<p>Bottom line is that we THINK we know what makes our kids tick, but they’re changing all the time. Best thing to do is throw it all out there for them–the LAC’s, the mid-level privates, and then the huge institutions. The more visits the better, the more communication the better. Keep in mind the out the door cost. Determine real value if you can–ROI is important but so is a great department within a college with solid advisors & alumni contacts for post-undergrad opportunities. You never know where you might find that little nugget that clicks with your kid.</p>