Where does a parent even start? My daughter is going to college in 2018 and I have no clue about what I should be doing as a parent besides save.
That’s a good start. Junior year I took my kids to visit a few schools - a mix of some I thought they might like and some I thought they might not, but had things that I thought they might want to consider. They were a mix of small, large, urban, rural, suburban. Ones with senior thesis requirements and ones without. Most that were strong in what seemed like likely majors at the time.
Pick three or four colleges and universities that you know of, and at least one home-state public U, then run the Net Price Calculator at each website. Get real with yourself about whether or not you can come up with that kind of money. Then get honest with your daughter about what the financial limits are going to be.
Talk with the guidance office at her high school, and get a notion of where students with grades and test scores like hers, and possible majors like her possible majors, have been admitted in recent years.
If I had to start over, I would begin with trying to get a handle on the financial picture. How many children are you hoping to get through college? Will you qualify for aid? Are you too wealthy to qualify for aid, but not so wealthy that you can fund $60K per year for each child? What is realistic here? Then, what about the child herself? Is she the next Einstein? A bright, well-rounded, more or less average kid? You’re just hoping she survives Junior year? Once you get a realistic (and honest) picture, you can start thinking about college options.
The biggest shock when we began the college process almost ten years ago was how darned ecpensive everything and every college had gotten, including the instate public schools.
So your own personal job number one is to get a grip on that. Look at the tuition, room, board, fees and books at some instate public universities, your local community college, a few out of state public universities and some private colleges and universities. Add it all up and multiply by the number of kids you have. Run some NPC numbers, look at the financial aid and load threads here on CC, and figure out what the monthly loan repayments will be for your kids and/or you, who will have to co-sign most loans.
Assume your kids will not qualify scholarships, or, if they do qualify, they will fall in love with the college that offers none.
Try to sit in a comfortable chair or couch while doing this.
Clutch your chest.
Try to breathe. The heart palpitations and sweating (this feeling is known as “flop sweat”) will become a part of your life until the youngest one graduates from college.
Then find some near-by colleges and universities to tour this fall. Hopefully a few tours will clarify urban/suburban/rural, giant/medium/small, general vibe feelings your kid is attracted to (or repelled by).
If your high school uses Naviance, you can use it as a tool to find colleges that are good matches for your child’s GPA and test scores.
Then life happens, and sometime around April 29 of your child’s senior year there will be a decision. Understand that prior to the moment when your child hits the “accept” button there will be angst, anxiety, probably some anger and tears, but it will all work out as long as you hold strong to your own personal (financial) perspectives.
Now go pour yourself a good, stiff drink.
On the home page of the College Confidential website, try the SuperMatch college search feature.
And pour yourself a good, stiff drink.
Don’t forget to tell your kids to put in extra studying and preparation for the standardized tests. With good scores they may qualify for merit aid at some schools, which can really save you a bundle.
Keep saving.
Find some schools your kid have a realistic chance of getting into. Go check them out.
Start the conversation about location and size of the college. Some kids already know their preferences well enough to decide if they want to be far away from home or within driving distance (and of course you have some say in this as well), if they want cold or warm climates, skiing or boating, oceans or mountains. Keep in mind that schools in the Midwest and in the south tend to have higher admission rates than their peers in the Northeast or West coast schools and can be significantly less expensive as well. If I had known this I might have pushed a bit more for some of the “interior” LACs that are comparable to the ones we looked at in the Northeast.
Some kids will also know that 20K students is far too many or that 2000 is far too small. This happens more often once you start visiting some campuses.
Other things to consider and discuss before the search begins: co-ed ? residential life ? city, small town, or boondocks? any ideas for potential majors ?
But the #1 thing to discuss is finances. Be clear and honest about what you can afford…do diligent research to figure that out. Don’t forget that most schools tuition rates increase each year, sometimes as much as 5%. A school that starts out at $30K freshman year might be $35K senior year ~ if you have to scrounge for the $30K, what will you do each succeeding year, best to leave yourself some room for unexpected expenses.
Agreed, pour a stiff drink.
You are not alone! It is totally overwhelming. The biggest mistake I see parents in our area making are:
- Telling the kids to "find scholarships." I've learned here that outside scholarships are not a great way to fund college. It is better to spend that time prepping for the SAT or ACT.
- Not understanding your EFC: start today by running the net price calculator and learning about your EFC.
- Not setting a budget and thinking they can borrow it all: there are limits and a ton of Parent Plus loans are a horrible idea.
- Not creating a list of schools: read on CC how to help guide your child to create a balanced list.
Good luck and welcome!
CC is a good start. Read through some threads and see what others are doing and the questions they are asking. Then ask some of your own. (Stay away from the “Chance me” threads!)
Run NPC’s and work on finances (already covered above).
Visit different school types (small, med, large, rural, city, etc.) to all your D a chance to figure out what she likes/dislikes. Take notes on the schools because eventually they will all start blurring together!
Use the tools such as the super match tool to find other schools that fit your criteria.
Learn about the FAFSA, CSS Profile, scholarships, terms such as Early Decision, Early Action, etc. - You can google these and of course you’ll find lots of info here on CC.
You’ll find a very knowledgeable and helpful community here, so after you’ve done some initial leg work, come back with questions. You’ll be amazed at the responses!
Share what you find with the other parent. Both should have a realistic view of the financial picture and realities of the difficulty of admission if you are looking at higher ranked schools.
Another vote for starting with finances. My wife and I first figured out a realistic budget of what we could afford to spend each year for each kid. We then had the “talk” with the kid, explaining the range of what we could afford to put towards their college tuition, and explained that anything over that amount would be their responsibility. We then made a collective decision on how much debt would be acceptable for undergrad, and we had a hard cap on what schools we looked at. From that point, if the NPC/available merit scholarship data didn’t show there was a good chance the school would fall under that hard cap, it never made it to the list.
Once you have a handle on the finances, I would suggest a couple visits to schools of various sizes/selectivity (being reasonable based on GPA/standardized test performance to that point) to get kind of a baseline as to what things appeal to your daughter. We took a week long trip to look at four schools during the summer between our daughter’s sophomore and junior year. This was immensely helpful in helping her shape what she is looking for in a college. From there it is just the grunt work of ferreting out colleges that fit the factors identified as important.
Glad to see that everyone is advising to drink! (that’s my advice too).
I would say the biggest single eye-opener to me (well, after finding out that my talented daughter wasn’t the center of the college recruitment universe) is that our family wasn’t eligible for meaningful financial aid (yes, they would toss $5000 our way which sounds like a lot of money but isn’t when you’re getting routine invoices for $30,000 per semester).
So think through the money…there are options out there.
Start surfing the admissions pages of the schools in your immediate area. Get a feel for cost of attendance (COA). Later branch out to other states and privates where your student may be interested in a particular field of study.
Look into a test prep program. I wouldn’t spend thousands on this though. I prepped my son myself and he got sufficient scores for merit scholarships at several state universities. My niece used a good test prep group in her area and bumped her ACT score high enough to get full scholarship to a local school (which she didn’t attend).
Hang around CC with us! Marinate in the info (stay away from the kids’ chance threads).
The great news is that you found CC at the perfect time to begin the process. :-bd
^
Many local test prep companies administer free or low-cost SAT/ACT tests in summer. Have your child take a trial test so you both know where you stand with regard to her test-taking ability. Then you can decide on test prep or maybe just a few weeks of self-study.
If she is a rising junior, chances are she took a trial PSAT in 10th grade. The results should also indicate how good of a test-taker she is.
^Yes! The free trial tests were the only preparation my kids did for SAT/ACTs.
- What they ^ said about finances.
We had 2 daughters. The eldest is more independent… plus we were living in Germany at the time. I told her to give me a list of schools and we would go visit them during junior year spring break. All her school were in a 3.5 hour radius of our home. We visited…dropped one (Cornell) and she applied to the rest. Got into the big state schools but not Ivy. Picked on that was a great out of state value (SUNY Binghamton) that gave her lots of IB credit.
Youngest asked me to help find schools. I took her to a medium and large state schools during fall break of junior year to get a feeling for the size/location she likes. She preferred smaller schools 1-2 hours away.
Using Naviance and Supermatch I came up with a list…but we kept coming back to “is this school better/more affordable than TCNJ?” Since she has troubles with decisions and TCNJ was good and affordable, I asked her if she wanted to apply ED…she either has to decide now or in the spring…if she would pick TCNJ anyway, why not apply ED? She did, got in, and is doing great and it is affordable in-state.
Some things to consider not in any particular order
What does child want to study (assuming they know)?
What size school are they interested in?
Venue? Rural Suburban Urban
What are their interests beyond school do they want to pursue>
What does the cost need to be?
What is my child’s academic record? (Also begin preparing a list of the things your child has accomplished ie. volunteering, awards, clubs, leadership etc. It will make filling out applications whether it be the common app or otherwise alot easier.
How far does your child want to be from home?
Do they want to live at home or on campus?
Other questions others may be able to come with…
I would recommend asking these questions and expect that you won’t have answers to some immediately. Visit schools from urban, suburban and urban areas. Visit large, small and medium schools. Visit private and public universities. It sounds like a lot of schools but all can be done in 3-4 visits. As you are able to answer the above questions you can begin to look at universities which best fit your criteria. Visit those you can but visits only provide some information. As others have mentioned do determine what you are willing and able to contribute. This can be from savings, income or money you are willing to borrow. Don’t negotiate on this and let your child know this as soon as you have an answer. The number may look low but your child may be eligible for academic scholarships, financial aid, work study, they can work both over summer and while in school etc. You just need to understand that if after all the financial and scholarship info is in if you can’t afford it your child can’t attend. Good luck it gets…interesting:)
I would give different advice to different families depending on a lot of the factors outlined above.
That said, certain key pieces of advice are universal: (1) invest in getting the kid’s grades and test scores up as high as possible, (2) determine your budget and stick to it, (3) have at least a rudimentary idea of targeted major (since this will determine in many cases which colleges to apply to; i.e. stem vs liberal arts vs business etc.).
Other suggestions…Visit a few types of colleges: small, large, urban, rural for example to get a feel for where the kid would ideally like to go. Keep in mind this can change over time so include one or two of each type in the final list.
Spend some time on Naviance (if your school offers it) to see where similarly situated kids from your high school were admitted and rejected. Eliminate colleges that are ridiculous reaches. If you need merit aid, put on the list plenty of colleges where your kid will be a sure admit…and then GO ON THE WEBSITES for those colleges to make sure that they actually do offer substantial merit aid/how much/what’s the criteria. Also play with the financial aid calculators for those colleges if you think you might qualify for need-based aid.
If money is an issue, make sure you start having conversations now to the effect that the budget is “X” and so even if “dream college” comes through, kid will not attend if the price exceeds “X”.
My D will be starting college in 2018 as well. Lot’s of good advice from others already, but I’ll throw in my $0.02.
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Talk to your daughter about her strengths and interests.Then do some research with her around how these interests can translate into majors which will lead to careers. I’m a big proponent of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”. My D loves art, theater, cultures, and languages but is also very strong in math and science. I’ve suggested international business with marketing or advertising as a potential major or dual major.
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As others have mentioned, build the financial plan. Find out what your Expected Family Contribution (EFC) is estimated to be so that you have an idea of how much you’ll be expected to pay (vs. need-based financial aid). Compare that to your savings and budget, and let your D know the situation. In our case, we can expect little to no need-based aid. I took a relatively novel approach and told my D how much we were going to be able to spend for her undergrad education; that she would be expected to take on half the costs above that through loans and work; and that any savings left over when she graduates would be hers. My goals are for her to focus on the value of the education that each school can provide and for her to focus on her academics while in HS in order to qualify for merit-based aid.
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Determine which colleges offer majors that your D is interested in, where she has a reasonable chance of being accepted. Begin researching them. Also look at Honors Program opportunities that the universities offer along with their acceptance of AP/IB test scores for college credit. Don’t reject any school solely because of the “sticker price” at this point, since very few people pay the full cost.
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Visit the colleges that make your list if at all possible. As others have mentioned, I highly recommend visiting (and applying to) at least one public in-state university that offers the majors that your D is interested in. This will help set a financial baseline to compare against other schools. My family just finished up a whirlwind two-week tour that combined college tours with vacation time and family visits. We visited a total of 8 universities (4 public, 4 private, all OOS) during that tour. We had visited a few nearby in-state schools prior to this. My goal was to identify at least 5 universities that my D would be excited about attending, and we were able to achieve that.
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Once you have a list of the colleges where your D is excited to attend, take a look at their application, scholarship, and honors program requirements (as applicable). Be sure to note application deadlines! Many honors programs and merit-based scholarships have application deadlines in the fall of the student’s senior year. Also note that students that apply earlier tend to be accepted at a higher rate than those that apply much later in the year. Make sure you’re lining things up this year to meet the requirements and deadlines such as ACT/SAT tests, resumes, and letters of recommendation. The PSAT will be Oct 19 this year, and if your D has a shot at a National Merit Scholarship I’d recommend having her do a bit of prep work for that.