<p>My teachers, counselors, and parents are all giving me strange looks. My ASIAN parents' expressions, however, are very different because they are disappointed in me. I am sure I am not the first high school senior to be in this situation. I am proud that I got into UCSB, SD, Cal, Irvine, and Oxy but extremely ashamed for not making Stanford, Pomona, Harvey Mudd, Rice, and UCLA. My teachers and counselors are very proud of me because I have made into these schools but my parents are disappointed because I am not making my decision based on US New's ranking. My dad is obsessed with that website now. My face is pale, my legs are numb, and my mind hurts. My peers wish to have my selections but are also daunted by the idea of not knowing which door is bigger, better, and the right one that does lead to hell. </p>
<p>I simply do not know where to go. Almost everybody, except my parents, tells me to visit these schools (I have not visited any of the schools that admitted me) and decide where I feel the most comfortable. My parents, again, are looking at the situation through ranking and prestige like so many other blind people. However, I find it really hard to believe that the school that I attend should be based on the atmosphere rather than the academics. As many would have guessed, my parents want me to attend UC Berkeley because it is famous.</p>
<p>My conversations with my parents have been very unpleasant. They constantly mention how poor of an education I will receive from UCSB and Occidental. What I am looking for, particularly, is a place where I can succeed, not fail. I think of myself as an incompetent student who is not confident at all. I know this is something I need to change but I am afraid that my mindset is going to lead me into making a horrible decision. I am scared of Cal's competition among the students and the number of students at each UC. CCS of UCSB and Occidental can provide me with a more personal atmosphere. Unlike Berkeley and UCSD, the social life can be very hectic with the pressure and rigorous classes. I am truly scared of not being able to achieve a high GPA and get into the graduate school of my choice! My parents constantly mention that I am more likely to acquire a job if I go to a more prestigious school. They also don't understand that each school has its own specialties. Although Berkeley is ranked higher than UCSD and UCSB, it does not mean that Berkeley is better in every single field. Then again, I am uncertain about my abilities and my interests. I have tried so hard in HS to get to where I am, am I willing to throw Berkeley away just because I am scared? Such question clutters my mind all the time.</p>
<p>I would also like to mention that I have received full scholarship to all of these schools, including Oxy, a $51000 package. I am currently on JHU's waitlist and still waiting to hear from Cornell, NYU, and USC. If I get accepted into more schools, I am going to be bald by May 1st. My parents have a great amount of influence because they helped me to reach this position.</p>
<p>I only have one month left to make a decision and I am very scared and worried. I wish to see the whole picture through the eyes of my counselors and teachers, but I cannot stop myself from spattering my parents' thoughts over that picture. In the end, my mind does not have a clear view but a distorted image of hell... This is my life for the next four years. What do you think?</p>