Which common app essay is better?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi guys,
Which essay for common app should i choose to submit? Which one would be more interesting to college admissions, less cliche/cookie-cutter type, and reveal more about who i am? Which would they enjoy reading more about - so which one would you want to read about?</p>

<p>First essay is about a strange body physicality (an oddly shaped pinky toenail - that is my introduction) that i share in common with solely my grandfather. I talk about his hardships and how he worked hard all his life and taught me the meaning of true success. He always put our family first, taught me Chinese customs, how to save money, and to always do my best in school. I've learned my morals and values from him and truly hope to be the kind of person he is. I end by saying when I look at my pinky toe, I am reminded of everything he has taught me.</p>

<p>Second essay starts off with a dream I once had where I had a little "sister" who I felt very protective over, and I remember feeling like I would give up my life to save the little girl. I'm the youngest in my family but I had always wanted a little sibling. My older siblings had inspired me so much and taught me all I know - way past what I had been learning at school (for example, learning the basis of precalculus when I was in algebra 1). Because I've learned so much from them, I want to give back and help those who need it. I tie this in with a recent example, where I took in an abandoned kitten and nursed it back to health. The kitten is an example of a "baby brother" to me, where I have to feed it, clean it, etc. The ending states that I hope to expand on helping others and that this kitten (named Hope) is just the beginning.</p>

<p>Personally I feel the grandfather essay is easier to write, but I've read online that those kind of essays focus on my grandfather and not exactly on me. The ideas are learning of hard work vs. compassion, and I feel the kitten one shows more about me. It definitely will be harder to write, though, and I need to make a smooth transition from wanting a little sibling --> rescuing a kitten. Some people told me essay #1 was better, and others essay #2. I was just wondering what you guys would like more?</p>

<p>Thank you so much!! If you read all of this you're amazing. If not:
TLDR: essay #1: inspiration from grandfather. essay #2: rescuing a kitten. Which one?</p>

2

<p>I think #1 sounds like a better bet. The toenail is quirky and you seem to be aware that you need to be mindful of talking about about what you learned from your grandfather, not just write about him. The second idea doesn’t seem fully fleshed out yet. The dream sibling seems trippy and if the best example you have of “giving back” is that you took care of a cat…well, that’s not a super example. The core idea there has merit, that you have been blessed to have people take care of you and you want to pass it on. But it needs more development than a dream and cat named Hope. </p>

3

<p>IMO
Execution, execution, execution. At a glance, I’d go with essay 1. We’ve all had those stories of looking up to someone and learning from them, usually keeping a memento of them. But no two experiences are the same, are they? Your grandfather’s impact on <em>you</em> is a unique one, which is why I think some of the most cliched topics can be executed well. I wish you luck!</p>