It sounds terrible (and I feel bad for your brother, who hopefully as friends he can stay over with from time to time?) Driving in treacherous conditions at 6am and midnight must be nerve wracking.
I’m guessing you live somewhere like Montana or Alaska or in the mountains of Maine or New Hampshire… For the roads to be so treacherous.
Note: even if your college is in a bad part of town there may be a nicer part of town where you can find an apartment for you and your brother AND even if you lived near the college
BTW living at home isn’t the same as living on your own: you learn skills that you’re supposed to have down pat when you move to a new city for your new job. Keeping an apartment, paying utilities, preparing a grocery list, cooking, handling roommates…
Would your brother not want to share an apartment rather than have to drive at night? Perhaps the two of you, if in agreement, could plan a discussion with your parents.
So, basically, your parents are okay paying for school if it’s far away but not for an apartment that’s a 1+hour away, is that correct?
Wrt Dream school:
If 20k is the total you’d borrow over 4 years then you’re fine. Most students borrow this. 27k is the max you should borrow over 4 years though.
Do you have any school on your list that you can live at and within these guidelines?