@kjs1992 I wish our coach was a mom too. It’s a perspective that is almost impossible to understand unless you are in it. Good luck to your team this season! Sounds like they have a pretty great leader 
Piggy backing your question with another question…if a college invited you, but you know your HS coach won’t support it, what is the Politically correct way to answer the invitation.
My daughter just declined an UOV (d3) and said something along the lines of, I’d love to come and experience that, but I can’t let my coach down because she is counting on me. On the one hand, you want the school to know you are interested, you want to show that you are a leader, but I read her message and it reminded me of a child in a very controlling environment. Like when you were 7 and your friend came knocking at the door and it was almost bed time and you had to say, “I really want to come out and play, but my mommy won’t let me”. HAHAHAHA…this process is HARD!!! Especially b/c my daughter NEVER wants to let her coach down.
It’s so hard to get this done on any timeframe, but especially the accelerated one that sports recruiting requires especially for those with fall sports. And there’s no doubt about it – it’s tough when you’re looking for a school and team in the same place. Often one is right and the other isn’t.
Keep in mind, though, hard as it is, that it’s a privilege and an advantage that most kids do not have. They didn’t get pre-reads, are not being offered scholarship money to do what they love, an admissions edge at a highly selective school, or the chance to explore as deeply what their lives might be next year at college (including meeting the kids that they’ll be spending most of their time with).
As miserable as it may be making you now, you’ll be done with the process in December, and when your kids get to college, they’ll have instant community, coaches who are keeping an eye out for them and invested in their success, access to additional resources, etc.
So as you’re battling the administrator who is telling you that you have too many unexcused absences, the (non-mom)coach who is furious that your kid is missing practice, or your kid is stressing about a test when he’s missed class, try to remember that you are actually one of the lucky ones. Your pain now will have an outsized benefit in this process.
I feel for you all! At this time last year we were trying to navigate 5 D1 OV (schools paid travel) and 2 UOV (the 2 closest schools…we paid travel) for our D17. She was in season for volleyball but being recruited for track. Her vball coach was not of the mindset that these visits were important (especially since they didn’t involve her sport). I had to get the AD involved who agreed that getting these student athletes into the best fit of a school possible was their goal, so these visits were crucial.
It was also important to our daughter that she complete her recruiting journey by the early signing period for track (mid October) so she could enjoy the rest of her senior year. So, we somehow made it work, utilizing school holidays and combining visits to nearby schools (we were very lucky that the potential college coaches were willing to coordinate this with us - one picking her up from the airport, one taking her back, etc.). She did miss 5 days of school which thankfully the school recorded as excused.
Staying overnight was very important to our daughter as she knew that the teammates would be her main source of friends, at least at first. She wanted a good fit.
I don’t know that I can offer much advice other than to know that while it seems stressful now, the end result is worth the struggle. Few can say they were a recruited college athlete and get to continue to play the sport they love at the next level. And, hey, if scholarship dollars are in the mix…all the better! 
Hi is there anyway to make it so that the OV starts on a Friday to visit one campus, see the team practice on saturday then travel to the next destination either late Saturday or early Sunday to the next college? You’d meet the team on the Sunday and visit the classes on the Monday? That way it’s just 4 days and 2 school days missed. We did that
@oldladyandmom We did that too! Worked like a charm with schools that were close to each other.
Kid is using next week’s Thursday/Friday Rosh Hashanah holiday for his visit. The locals in his recruiting class suggested it to the coach since they knew they would be free on those days, then coach asked the rest.
Since we live in a flyover state and S was being recruited by left and right coast school, S narrowed his visits to the 4 he was most interested in, that he had never visited and which the coaches had already gotten pre-reads and told him he was on their “official” list and would fully support him if he applied ED. I could easily see though that if the kid is still competing for a spot at a school he/she really wants, that you would prioritize an OV to that school to show the coach his/her serious interest.
Schedule was leave Thursday. Hang with players, go to classes on Friday. Watch practice Friday/Sat. Go home Sat. S got pretty good at doing homework on the plane and teachers were supportive in giving him materials for the classes he was going to miss. That having been said, 4 visits were pretty taxing in terms of missing class time and the hit on my credit card (coaches took care of local transp, meals and he stayed with someone from the team) from the air tix. The trips were definitely worthwhile in terms of narrowing down what he wanted from college.
These last few posts raise a question for me. I thought OV’s were generally structured and set up by the coach for a group. It sounds like some of you set up an official visit more like what I expected from UOV’s. Is it common to do OV’s on a customized schedule?
@dadof4kids Maybe a D3 vs. D1 thing? My D3 kid scheduled visits fall of senior year based on his own competition schedule and college team’s match schedule, plus his academic commitments. Programs usually offered some preferred dates, but if those didn’t work for my kid’s schedule, everyone adapted. Sometimes there were other prospects there on the same day, often because coaches wanted prospects there for game days, and there are only so many home matches in the fall in Sept/early Oct.
All of our D1 daughter’s OVs were independently scheduled due to her playing a fall sport and needing to work around tournament schedules. Coaches were very accommodating.
My D’s D3 OVs are also independently scheduled to accommodate her schedule. One is scheduled midweek to take advantage of the Rosh Hashanah holiday.
If it is any comfort, most athletes I know have not done all of the OVs that they originally scheduled. I think nearly every kid we know has made the call after two OVs. I am sure there are plenty of exceptions, but there is also a good chance that any athlete will be one (or two) and done.
My son did 4 OVs and then cancelled the others for the same reason-grades and time away from school. That’s why it’s good to visit a little at a time starting sophomore year if you can. With my DD, we visited schools whenever we were in the area, and over the summer, and last spring, so by now, she really only has 3 schools to seriously consider. it’s nice to be asked, but they can only attend one school, after all. Plus for D3, it’s all your dime!
As others have said, it’s tough and it takes a real comittent between the OV and the camps. Well worth it in the end, but stressful in the middle of it.
For what it’s worth, I would give just about anything to do it all over again with my son. Looking back it was a very special time athletically, academically and personally.
Enjoy it !!!
Back from D’s first D1 OV…and happy to report that we both felt it was totally worth going. Even if it means she needs to put a little a little extra effort to catch up on any missed work (easy for me to say, since I’m not the one who has to put the effort in!)
Oh, one thing I forgot to mention is that I did go with my daughter. Partly because this trip required a flight. And while the visit is really all about the prospect getting to learn more about the coach/team/school, I don’t think it’s a bad idea for a parent to go — especially if you have never been to the school before.
After dropping kid off with host, I did not see her again until we rendezvoused the next day to observe a team practice. Also, there was time baked into the schedule that day for me to meet with coach one-on-one to ask any questions…and that opportunity was extremely valuable.
Second OV is very drivable distance, and we will drop off and pick up — hoping to have similar one-on-one time with coach at pick up.
I flew with my daughter for one OV, and the coach really didn’t want anything to do with me. Guess what? My daughter doesn’t go to that school. The coach said she didn’t have anything to do with FA, but had made no effort for me to have an appointment (we were there Fri and Sat), and I only went on the school tour because my daughter called me on Sat am and asked me to go with her (otherwise she would have been by herself on that public tour).
A second OV we drove but stayed overnight in a hotel (school paid). The coach had a meeting with each recruit and parent (there were 5 there for that weekend), had taken us all on a tour of the school on the school’s trolley, and in all ways made the parents (um, the ones with the checkbooks) feel part of the decision.
D1 football recruiting now allows the teams to pay for parents to go on the OVs because it is a huge decision for a 17 year old to make. And the recruits behave better when Mom is there!
OV’s are very important. My player’s GF at the time went to the #1 ranked DIII school for the sport and saw how much dysfunction the team was going through (girls hated the coach, were miserable and overworked for no rewards). They had her sleep on a dorm floor on a towel. Without OV she could have made huge mistake, she ended up going to a lower ranked D1 school where she had a fantastic visit, with a full ride and happiness. Player needs to feel the chemistry that can only be found on an OV.
For our D1 player, recruiting coaches came to house (like Blindside) then for OV, he went solo with everything taken care of. If they are really interested in your player, there will be someone there to get them from the airport or anything else they need. At D1 level, take everything they do or don’t do as a sign of interest and how the future will play out. Besides time at home visit, coaches certainly made themselves available for any questions. We didn’t have a DIII player, but I would assume some recruiting basics the same - if they aren’t paying or they are not talking to the parent, then they aren’t that interested. I suppose they could have zippo budget or just be a terrible coach which isn’t great fun either. If they can’t give player a good visit, that should tell you something about the next four years. But take the OVs to the schools that are true contenders. They can also be super special and deliver some amazing moments/memories if they are done right.
It’s really an interesting process, and one many of my athletes have gone through, but never me as a parent. Our son just had his 2nd OV last night into today. It pretty much solidified where this school now stands…a very, very distant 3rd…maybe 4th (and reinforced his OV 2 weeks ago as #1). We’re glad he still kept the visit because we think he needed the not-so-great experience (to say the least) of this weekend to help him weigh his options and see why #1 is #1. He stays over at #2 in a few weeks (his last OV that he’s accepted), and while that is a close contender, we think he’s pretty much concluded that it will be hard, if not impossible, to top the visit at #1. And, mom and dad agree :). We are truly lucky our kids have been afforded these opportunities to help them make these tough decisions.