Who pays fratenity/sorority dues?

Parents Social Lounge
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<p>As many of you know, I joined a soritory this semester. My parents, both non-Greeks, were just concerned whether or not I'd get hazed (I haven't in the least; DG prohibits it, UM prohibits it, and the girls in my house are far too awesome [nice, kind, sweet, respectful, law-abiding, ethical, caring--insert any positive adjective here :)] to ever even come close to doing that, imo) and didn't reallly "get" the financial aspect of it--didn't ask about it, didn't blink when told. Judging from what I've read on CC, I'd assumed I'd pay the dues myself and was fully prepared to do so. My mom then tells me she would like to pay the dues, as we're only paying about ~5k/year fpr undergrad., (room, board, fees, tuition, books next year [cheaper room/meal plan]) which, rather depressingly, is peanuts in the world of college expenses. I'm divided on this. On one hand, I don't feel like my parents should really be paying for me "to have fun" (by which I don't mean "get drunk," btw--don't stereotype!). On the other hand, I have a good chunk of money in the bank, and because I chose such an affordable option for undergrad., my parents aren't touchng it yet. I'm planning on going to professional school, so the more money I have in bank, the less debt I'll have, and those dues could take out a few thousand out of that. My parents seem very willing to pay my sorority dues for me, and I would like for any money I make this summer to go into the bank of the future, but having my parents finance my social life seems kind of unfair.</p>

<p>So what do your families do about this? Why? Does the COA of the school factor in at all?</p>

<p>(If, for whatever reson, my parents did refuse to/couldn't pay the dues for whatever reason, I'd still be loath to let go of my sorority, tightwad that I am--That's how amazing my time there has been so far! :) )</p>

<p>Thanks in advance.</p>

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<p>Your parents are offering it to you as a "gift," it seems, so you shouldn't be reluctant to take it unless it would put them in a difficult financial situation. </p>

<p>I do believe that generally students should pay their own frat/sorority dues, as well as other entertainment expenses.</p>

<p>I'm happy that you found a sorority that you are so pleased with.</p>

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<p>I agree -- it's a gift and you should accept it in that spirit, definitely expressing your gratitude and appreciation. Parents sometimes feel left out and suddenly unimportant and unneeded when their kids go off to college, so being able to help you with sorority dues is a way that your mom can feel like she is still an important part of your life. Of course, there are strings attached -- you should definitely make a point of telling her about various sorority events and activities and send her lots of pictures of you with your sorority sisters! </p>

<p>As long as you didn't ask and said "oh mom, you don't have to do that" when she first offered, you are in the clear. Just keep in mind that next year it is your responsibility unless your mom volunteers again.</p>

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<p>Maybe your parents see what a positive experience membership has been for you and realize that their pre-conceived ideas about Greek Life were misconceptions based on stereotypes. It sounds like a gesture on their part to show you that they not only accept your DG status but embrace it as well. I would accept it as parental kindness.</p>

<p>BTW, I was shopping at the outlets this weekend at Off-Saks 5th and saw the cutest blue and pink anchor shirts in the junior dept....</p>

<p>Don't know if the store is online but if you have that particular store in your area, check it out.</p>

1 Like
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<p>Wolfpiper, would you be kind enough to let me know how the financial aspect of a sorority works?</p>

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<p>My D and I split her sorority dues. She is going to school around the calendar this year, and has had difficulty getting a campus job, so her entertainment money is running low. She has been very frugal with her expenses, and her sorority dues are not huge.</p>

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<p>If a student joins a sorority, are they considered to be living on campus and how do housing costs work? Are they usually more than a dorm?</p>

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<p>Hopefully WP will answer, because UM may more like a traditional sorority than my D's sorority. She is at Dartmouth, and the houses belong to the university, and you are living on campus, with a meal plan, etc. It is a house, though, just no meals. Only 20+ girls can live in the house, so dues reflect membership only, not housing.
Different schools have very different arrangements.</p>

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<p>At my son's school (large public university), the sororities are not considered to be living on campus. They are, however, university approved and have to meet certain requirements. In some cases, they are closer to the main areas of campus than some dorms so the campus vs. non-campus housing description can be misleading. The fees are paid to the sorority, and not to the university.</p>

<p>As for costs, the greek houses are usually a little bit cheaper than the dorms. There are usually a couple additional costs (pledge fee, initiation fee, etc.) associated with the houses. In the long run, our experience shows the costs are probably fairly comparable.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper, my parents always paid for my dues (and my little brother who is now a freshman in my fraternity). Part of this was because dues were just lumped in with the cost to live in my fraternity house, but even as a senior when I lived out, they paid for dues and the house meal plan.</p>

<p>Zoosermom: the on/off designation will depend on the school. My alma mater, the sorority and fraternity houses were "university approved housing" and because of their locations, almost all were closer to class than most of the dorms. The university approved housing designation meant that the chapter houses were "legal" locations for freshmen to live, and that the chapters had to submit to inspection by Campus security when requested. My campus is rare in that the fraternities have rush during the summer, so the freshmen guys know their chapters well before school starts and then can move directly into the fraternity houses. For the women, recruitment was the week before classes started. This is a more common scenario around the country with rush/recruitment taking place immediately before, or during the school year. My school is again early with the process but not early enough for any of the freshmen women to actually live in the chapter house. This means that sorority dues are an added fee on top of the room/board/tuition you will already be paying. This is one of the few things that is probably pretty standard across the nation when it comes to Greek life. As Tuition Dad has stated though, generally the cost to live in the chapter house is cheaper than the dorms, often (though not everywhere) enough that two years of living in the chapter will result in net savings compared to what three years in the dorms would have cost even without the initial costs as a freshman. Many chapter houses also have amentities that present as "hidden" savings - parking lots for members use, chapter funds used for intramurals or philanthropy events and things like that. I know that for my time in the house, being able to park at the fraternity house saved about $400 a year, but of course not having a car, or cheaper parking may make this a negligible savings. One other thing, at least in my experience, costs for fraternity and sorority housing usually rise slower than do the costs of university housing - probably because the membership have to vote to raise their own fees...</p>

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<p>MY D joined a sorority, does not live in the house yet, so pays dues & what is basically a food charge for non live ins. We pay the dues for her, as we view the sorority as a very important part of making a nhuge public uni small and as critical to her overall success and happiness there. She pays the food dues, as she pays her food costs out of a budget already provided between us/her/scholarship $.</p>

<p>When she lives in the house, we will still budget for dues, but she will pay the housing costs out of her housing budget- it is considered off campus and is both cheaper than dorms and also cheaper than other local rents :)</p>

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<p>My D pays her own dues (I did the same during my era). Next year she will be living in a dorm, but at her school, all the Greeks have lunch together in their respective houses M-F. So we will pay for her lunch meal plan at the House and a smaller dining hall meal plan than she would normally have since 5 of her meals per week are at the House. </p>

<p>Zoosermom, when your kiddo goes through recruitment, s/he will be presented with a list of costs so that there are no surprises. If you want to find out in advance, call the Office of Greek Life at your school and they can give you the info. It may be online as well.</p>

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<p>We pay for our D's sorority dues at her State U. She doesn't live in the house so the fee's aren't that high. High School cheerleading was more expensive. LOL. And it was us who encouraged her to get "involved" in something.</p>

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<p>My son received a full tuition scholarship at a top university. So when he asked to join a fraternity, we agreed to let him pay the dues out of the money we had put away for his education. The rent was lower there than either the dorm or an apartment, so we paid that. When his younger brother wanted to join and we saw what a positive experience it had been for his brother, we agreed to pay the rent and split the dues. Both were very reasonable. Dues and rent together were lower than rent would have been in a house or apartment, and living in the house was more convenient for him as it was on campus. I also felt more comfortable having him live in a house on campus than one off owned by a college town landlord. Especially after one two houses down burned to the ground.</p>

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<p>My parents pay mine. It's a $3500 flat fee that essentially replaces the cost of the room/board and meal plan fees I would have to pay my school had I not gone greek (actually, its 60% cheaper).</p>

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<p>My parents pay mine -- but no sororities have houses/meal plans/etc here, so it's around $350 a semester</p>

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<p>we don't pay our son's fees for frat whatsoever which means we are kinda bad sports about him making a decision that deviated from our personal preferences. however, we don't harp on it, and we listen to what he states are the positives about his frat life with respect, and we concede there are positives. His brothers have coached him through some tough academic weeks, steered his boat re course selection, encouraged him to try out for campus leadership roles, given him courage to enjoy some social events and dates that have been fun and set some pretty good examples in various roles on campus and in academic achievement and pride. But let's face it..his paying his own dues comes out of our pocket eventually..when he is setting up his first post college car purchase or he needs cash for other worthy reasons..his summer savings take a hit from frat dues annually. I assume he also applies all the little checks he gets from other relations to frat dues. He also lives on what he earns over the summers unlike some of his peers. There is no allowance. He is very happy, and we do like many of his frat brothers very much.</p>

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<p>Daughter pays her own sorority dues. The good thing about Dartmouth is that if you are on a leave term (study abroad/ internship or just home) you do not get billed for the time you are not in residence. D lived in her sorority house (university owned) and only had to pay a $50 surcharge to the house, room charges are the same no matter where you live on campus.</p>