I did drop-off for both of our kids, only because my work schedule is more flexible than H’s.
For the kid who was in-state, I drove her down on move in day, got her things up to her room, did not help unpack, said good luck, love ya, bye. I went to have lunch by myself before heading back home. Sent her one last text. Need anything? I’m heading out. She was fine.
For the kid who was out of state, we drove her down ahead of move in day, so we’d have one full day to explore town, roam the campus, get her where she needed to be for some paperwork, etc. On move in day, same thing. Got her stuff to the room, did not help unpack, said good luck, love ya, bye. I went to have lunch by myself. One last text. All was good.
YMMV, we discussed strategy ahead of time, and both of my kids elected the move in, then go right away option. I found the lunch break to be really helpful to ease the strong emotions versus getting right back on the highway and crying.
My DD21 has already said she wants to help move DD18 to school and we better not leave her home. She’s strong, so she will come in handy lol.
I guess all four of us (including the college girl) will go - it’s a little less than three hours’ drive. Beforehand, we’ll talk about how long she wants us to stay. I’ll help her get set up but once she’s settled we will say “until next time” and go back to the car so I can cry a little. :((
See if the school has any parent events on drop off day. One of D’s school has a presentation by the college president for parents (which was interrupted when a NYT reporter called to interview him about a controversial comment he had made the day before!). Then there was a lemonade and cookies time for kids and families, with parents saying goodbye at the end of it.
Other kid’s school had panels for parents to attend, attendance at ceremony where new students signed the honor code with a big quill pen, and a reception for kids & families at the president’s house on campus. Also with a clearly delineated time for parents to say goodbye & leave.
For DS16 drop off was DH, DS and I. No DD20 since her school was starting and she had sport practice and no GF from home. I think the GF felt a little left out but DS needed to handle the goodbyes in stages. The GF came to see us off the day we left (missing HS to do so) and we stayed overnight in the college town since move in was early the next day. It is a milestone for parents and student that could be emotional so if anyone prefers privacy, limit the size of the drop off group.
With my S, it was a family affair: H, D, and me. Now it’s D’s turn, and as of now, it’s going to be me. Playing the “it’s your baby girl going away to college” guilt card on the H. I hope it works!
Since you need to fly and are the “teary one” just stay home. Easier to cry in a car than on a plane.
And honestly you aren’t missing anything. Skype/facetime works well to show off rooms. Better after settling in.
The “drive-by drop off” is the norm actually. Your kid has a lot to take in about their new surroundings and (sorry!) it ain’t you that’s the focus…
Neither of my kids wanted me around to “fuss” over stuff–but I did anyway. Husband told kids, “This is for your mom, not you!. Humor her, you can rearrange it all later.” Should’ve left it for them–but certainly not worth a plane ride.
I did think my son thought it was great to have his bed made for the first and most likely last time for the year.
We all went to wish our son well: mom, dad, and little sister. Actually we arrived two days early, did some touristy things, finished up dorm room shopping. The night before actual drop off day we had a special family dinner. Drop-off day was stress free, we were all prepared, smiles, hugs, and much pride.
We made it a family affair when the oldest went to college. Both parents and younger sibling flew (with daughter’s stufff in their checked and carry-on luggage!) to her campus and helped her move in. Younger sibling had a blast listening to the strong Massachusetts accents of some of the parents helping their kids move in as well. Then we hugged her, said goodbye, and went on a 4 day trip around the area. We saw her one more time, before flying home, when she was more settled into her suite. Her excitement about her new life made us happy - so no tears.
To this day we remember it as a fun (and extra meaningful) family vacation. Glad we did it.
But we skipped all Parents Day weekend stuff. Dropping her off was enough.
Hey! I don’t suggest you don’t go 'cause you might cry! There wouldn’t be anyone left to transport the kids!
But if it’s a CHOICE of one to go because of expense?
I say send everyone. But not sure it’s worth it if flying.
Depends where the kiddo goes to school and where his/her family lives. For my Colorado family, going to Boston to drop off our daughter was very much a fun vacation, in addition to a meaningful way to mark her milestone. Had she gone to school in the middle of, say, Iowa… no, it probably wouldn’t be “worth it.”
With my D, all 7 of us, plus the 2 dog and the cat, piled into the RV for the 6 hour drive upstate. We had a blast although we didn’t do any extra vacationing at either end. The next year, it was just H and I with the oldest and youngest boys. The year after that, she had worked at school over the summer and was an RA, so she had very little stuff and took Amtrak up. In her 4th year, middle son joined her at school, so it was back in the RV. For her 5th and last year (she was in a 5 year bachelor’s-master’s program), we gave her a car and they drove together. After that, my other sons drove him up.
When S17 went to school this year, my 2 oldest sons and a friend of theirs “road tripped” him up to school. He had a blast.
I sometimes think that there is something wrong with me because I didn’t cry when dropping my kids off. Actually, when we got home from dropping D off, I sobbed tears of happiness because my D was away at college, something tha was denied to me. I missed her, but I was SO happy to have been able to give her and two of my boys that opportunity.
Wouldn’t miss it for the world! I teared up when dropping him off for the summer pre-college program last year but I’m more at ease because I know what to expect and trust that he will be okay. It also helps that the school is less than an hour away. And… being that I’m a tad overprotective, I HAVE TO see his dorm and scope his roomates
Lastly, on a side note, I’ll never forget the day my dad dropped me off my freshman year, it was the tightest hug he had ever given me.
I went to only one move-in of five so far. H dropped S#1 at the airport curb–S took only a carry-on and laptop. (I mailed his bedding, extra clothes.) H drove D#1 about 8hrs, helped her move in, then flew home since D was keeping the car. S#2 was dropped off by D#1–at another college in the same city. S#3 drove with S#2 to same college. Finally, I was obliged to help D#2 move in last fall. Only two hours away. I helped her set up her room and drove home. I was expecting to be sad, but wasn’t .
All the schools had volunteers and carts to help the process go smoothly–even for students arriving alone. It is all about what works for your family when you consider relationships, expense, distance, time off work, etc. It is not something that I really wanted to be there for, so I don’t feel like I missed out. I have two more kids to go, so I still have a couple chances to do the freshman move-in.
