<p>Interested to hear from the rest of you parents on who you think has the final say on the college your child attends?</p>
<p>His money, his decision. My money, my decision (although I may decide to go with the child’s preference).</p>
<p>While it was our money, it was 100% our kids’ decision as to where to apply and where to attend.</p>
<p>We veto whatever we can’t afford. Otherwise, it’s his/her decision.</p>
<p>we were involved from the beginning and tried to create a
situation where our D would have several choices in a price
range we could afford. So, her decision within our financial
framework. As it turned out, she got rejected at most of the
colleges, denied adequate aid at others and ended up with
basically one choice. That certainly simplified matters.</p>
<p>Entirely my kids’ decisions. S2 is talking about clown college, sounds good to me.</p>
<p>Agree with EMM1. If the parents are paying 100% of the tuition, they will probably feel differently about the decision than the parents of students on full FA. As a full-pay family, this definitely held true for us. There were certain schools that I would not pay for, and I told my Ds as much. There were other schools that I did not feel were worth $200K. My Ds were happy to choose from among a list that I approved of and didn’t have a problem with my limitations.</p>
<p>I’m with Mary. Veto what we can’t afford, beyond that it’s up to the kid.</p>
<p>Well, let me qualify that with the fact that we did put some broad limits on him, like being within X number of hours of family/close friends (we’re military, so that doesn’t narrow down the list very much), if it’s a very large school he has to chose a smaller community (honors college, band, special dorm, etc.) to be a part of at least for the first year. I think that’s it.</p>
<p>Guess every child and family is different. Everything cost a lot more than I am prepared for and money certainly has a part to play. But my S worked hard in HS and got financial offers from 8 good schools that allowed him to choose what he wants for about the same price as a local public. He did his part and I doubt I’ll be disappointed in his decision (hope that burst of pride doesn’t come back to bite me)…</p>
<p>We’ve talked to our son about financial trade-offs that might limit our ability to endorse 100 percent of his choices. But once he understands what the money issues are, he decides the list of colleges to apply to, and he decides which offer of admission to accept if he gets more than one offer. We will step up with 100 percent of our college-calculated EFC for each of our children for enough years to get each of them through a four-year college degree.</p>
<p>my parents told me how much they planned to contribute to my college education. It was a flat amount, substantially less than their EFC, and they said if I chose a place that cost less they would try (but not promise) to give me the leftover money for something worthwhile after I graduated (unclear exactly what, but grad school, car, house, etc. seemed to fit).</p>
<p>They offered their opinions and helped me weigh pros and cons of each place I visited and applied to, but the decision was ultimately mine (I ended up at a place where my parents’ contribution, merit aid, and always working at least one job enabled me to graduate with no debt–a wonderful outcome!)</p>
<p>I would imagine we had veto power, but truth is, we would have been happy for him to attend pretty much any of the schools to which he applied. As it ended up, he narrowed in on two and we did have a favorite. We went to visit both and he made observations even I didn’t consider and we still all ended up on the same page. I think his rejection ED kind of tempered the situation where he didn’t allow himself to fall in love with any of them. After holding it all at a distance for so long, it is a little bit of a thaw still.</p>
<p>We were up front with D that cost/FA would basically be the deciding factor and so insisted that she apply to at least one in UC and one Cal State school in addition to any others she wanted to apply to. Other than that, no restrictions. However, we did stress that she should not apply to any schools she did not see herself attending.</p>
<p>Same as most here, we give the kids the financial budget with one caveat, they can take out the Stafford loans to add to the financial support we will provide. After that it’s their decision. S2’s favorite school so far is a “wing and a prayer” school financially IMHO, but he clearly understands that the answer could be “no” if the finances don’t jive.</p>
<p>I think our opinion influenced our D1’s decision. We’ve started talking about various schools since she started high school, same with our D2 now. At the end, it was no surprise which way it was going to go. Our kids believe ultimately we have their best interest at heart. At the same time, if D1 had a very strong opinion about a school that’s contrary to mine, I would have listened.</p>
<p>No, I wouldn’t have paid for a clown school or a vocational school. Our D1 understood why, and she agreed with us.</p>
<p>The decision was 100% our S’s and we are very proud of him!
However, we are hurt and upset that uncles and grandparents, who went to a big name school, cannot understand why their alma mater was not chosen. We believe everyone should have the chance to choose their own path.
Hope they like the girl he brings home someday…</p>
<p>So far, our S is acting reasonably, so the decision will be his as long as we can afford it. He seems to be looking at things that we think are important (“do they have my major, do I fit in with the other students, do I like the campus, do the graduates get jobs?..”) But if he decides to attend a liberal arts college to major in engineering, or picks a college based only on proximity to surfing, we might have to veto. </p>
<p>Speaking of clown college, my S’s had a teacher that attended clown college and worked as a clown before becoming a teacher. What an amazing teacher she is! (Yeah, Janet, that’s you!)</p>
<p>The answer to OP has to do with who is paying for college and, I believe, needs to be addressed before application process, not after. To avoid all these stress, it should be clear cut plan which include cost of attendance. The exceptions are the cases when party responsible for financing has agreed to pay any amount and has volunteered to give up its right to influence a choice.</p>
<p>Putting a $200,000 life changing decision entirely in the hands of a 17 year old is way more then a teen’s neurons are set up to handle. </p>
<p>Taking a 15, 16, 7 year-old on a three-year guided decision making journey makes sense. I’d be surprised the the “100% child’s decision” was not the period at the end of a very long sentence structured by the parents.</p>
<p>But while the sticker price for a college is one thing, what you actually pay is another that you will not know until your child receives the award package which may be a mix on merit and need-aid or need-aid alone. So it is hard to limit before applying. We are in the middle of “whose decision is it” and we are trying to make is the kid’s decision with parental guidance. But a bad decision is one that we all will have to live with. And of course the money issue. How can one justify attending a college that may cost 40% more that a school that, at minimum, is of the same caliber and will provide, at minimum, the same opportunities. These things are subjective but the dollars are not. And when the parent is asked to pay that large difference, I say we get to express our opinion, strongly!</p>