<p>If parents have financial parameters, surely those must be shared with the child. We didn’t give those to our kids but I can definitely appreciate those who have done so. I was talking about any other aspect of the decision of where to attend college, however. </p>
<p>I agree with garland in #40…we all have influenced our children by raising them. So, for instance, our influence has always been to do your very best in school and to reach high for your goals and that college is important. So, we instilled certain values and influences in that regard. We had no say in where they chose to apply or attend, however. We wanted that to be their decision since they were the ones attending. We saw our job as supporting their decisions and being there to help with anything they wanted help with.</p>
<p>I trusted my kids with these decisions and they were not made in haste and they were well thought out and researched. I have to say, in the end, they picked really good choices for themselves in terms of fit. They were so happy at their colleges and nothing makes us happier than having our kids be happy. That was it in a nutshell. I didn’t care which school it was that made them happy, however.</p>
<p>I love the comment about how the kids are choosing based on 17 years of being raised in our family! This is exactly true in our case. Every school he chose and applied to he did with our support, even though we would definitely been happier with some than with others. He is also choosing which school to attend which, considering he’s ultimately choosing between a “name” and an “experience,” is a decision we’re really glad he’s making instead of us!</p>
<p>Our kids think we’re “rich” (we’re not). They don’t think we’re “super rich” 'cause they know kids like that but fortunately so far they “get” the college cost thing and can quickly discern the cost/value equation. We were parents who just didn’t want to be the ones who had to say “no” because of cost at the end of the line so we took care of that aspect first. If I had to really answer the OP’s question, I would vote the parents have the final say unless the kid isn’t getting a dime from the parent(s).</p>
<p>Speedo,
We are full payers, but the amount that we are paying is so small, about 1/3 of what we used to pay for HS. Our D’s contribution is her extremely hard work that resulted in Merit $$ that cover full tuition and part of R&B. She is also working at school, but this is just her pocket money, we would not ask her to contribute out of these, since it is pennies compare to her Merit scholarships.</p>