Why am I having such a bad experience so far?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>I just finished up my first week of classes and I'm feeling a little blue--so far my college experience has been nothing but stressful, and I did the unprecedented and came home for the weekend.</p>

<p>I feel like I could really grow to like my campus, city, and classes under different (i.e. non-school) circumstances, but from the time I got to my dorm till the moment I came home, I felt ridiculously stressed for a number of reasons:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I noticed right away that I was no longer a big fish in a small pond. To be fair, I knew that going in. I go to a big state school with a fairly wide range of personalities an IQs. What I wasn't expecting was that not only is the pond bigger, but so is every other fish. I feel like I'm a minnow in a sea filled with everything from barracuda to sharks, as if everyone is smarter than me. I graduated vally of my high school, and I worked really hard to get there. But there were times in my math lecture this past week where I felt like I was the one lagging behind. The obvious course of action would be to work harder, but I feel like there's a point where hard work caps off, and I worry that I've reached it.</p></li>
<li><p>I was never very social. My freshman year of HS, I <em>knew</em> I wanted to be vally and, as a result, I became something of a shut-in. Being the quiet kid worked alright for me because my school was small enough that people kind of knew who I was (I had classes with some of the same groups of kids etc.). But as a result, my social skills took a dive. Now, it's been hard for me to hold a conversation with anyone. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but it's really hard to make friends because I never know the "right" thing to say, so I usually say very little, and as a result come across as awkward. The end result is many nights spent alone in my dorm room. This same fear of being social has prevented me from getting a job and networking for other opportunities. </p></li>
<li><p>I was never a partier, ever, in my life. I've never done any sort of drugs, never really drank before, and for what it's worth, I can't even really say that I've ever broken the rules. In college, I feel like everybody drinks. And at my college, it's not just the frats and sororities...I really mean <em>everyone.</em> The people who are smarter than me? They drink. The gamers who sit in their rooms and play Starcraft all afternoon? They drink. The running club members? They drink. The religious clubs? I wouldn't know, but I'm pretty sure they probably drink too. I don't really know how to remedy the social situation if it means I'll have to do something I'm not familiar with.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>As I said, I'm home this weekend, and in a sense, I dread going back. The city is a happening place, full of things to do. The campus is beautiful. And I even went to a sporting event (by myself) and I had a good time. But overall, the work expectations added to my consistent social woes are stressing me out to the point that I prefer the comfort of my home to my school environment.</p>

<p>I know there are those on CC who have had similar experiences, so I'd love if you could share some of your insight. Like I said, there's a lot to like--a lot to love--about my school, but it's been overwhelming so far.</p>

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<p>

Maybe you were placed into the wrong class (easy to remedy) but more likely you went into the class with the wrong expectation. </p>

<p>One of my undergrad professors taught a math seminar for 1st semester prospective math majors. There were 20 students in the class. Before the end of the term, 17 of them had individually made an appointment to see him: each one felt like they were the weakest student in the class, they were constantly struggling and just barely keeping up, didn’t think they were cut out to be a math major. </p>

<p>This was not a weeder class, by the way. The professor thought that all of them were perfectly capable of being math majors. They just weren’t used to being challenged, and they overestimated the ability and confidence of their classmates. Take care not to fall into the same trap.</p>

<p>Use the resources available to you. Office hours and TA sessions are an integral part of the course, not a remedial measure to keep the weakest students afloat. </p>

<p>

Unlikely! :slight_smile: More likely is that you are misinterpreting everyone else’s confidence. Did you ever see their academic work? I can almost guarantee you that your academic standards are higher than most of your classmates’. Most freshmen are not very concerned with their coursework right now. They are still too distracted by the new-found freedom of college (PARTY TIME!!!). They’ll be in for a nasty surprise when midterms and finals come around. :D</p>

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<p>Have you joined any clubs?
Gone to any social activites?</p>

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<p>Thanks for the advice <a href=“mailto:b@rium”>b@rium</a>. Calc is one of the classes I’m worried about right now. I took Calc and did well, so it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, but I guess it might take awhile to come back to me. Also, I was never really “fast” at math, but I understood almost all of the concepts when I took the time to learn them.</p>

<p>And, Lou, my student org fair is this coming week, I’m hoping to attend that as one last ditch effort to make friends.</p>