<p>Is it just me or do some of the rest of you think that it is ridiculous to throw a big party for a high school graduation? When I graduated we had cake and pizza for immediate family and that was it. No one had big celebrations for their friends. Now, kids have 25+ parties to go to. It is insane! My kids have had 5 and 6 parties in a single day. With so many parties, no one stays at any one party for very long making it really hard to know how much food to serve. </p>
<p>As much as I think the whole idea is ridiculous, I'm still planning to have a big party for DD as I did 3 years ago for DS. To complicate matters this time around DD is insistent upon having her party with her BFF. I'm about ready to lose my mind.</p>
<p>My D doesnt want a big party. She said at most she will go out to dinner with a few relatives. All she cares about now is college. HS is in the rear view mirror.</p>
<p>We threw a graduation party for DS with the families of his three best friends (since fifth grade). We had a blast planning it, from invitations to food, and about 150 people (kids and adults) came (many/most without gifts, since this wasn’t a party to fish for gifts, but a party to celebrate the graduation of these boys that so many people cared about—even a lot of teachers came!).</p>
<p>If it doesn’t sound like a fun thing to do, don’t have a grad party! No one says you HAVE to host one. However, it can be a wonderful culminating high school experience. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.</p>
<p>M’s Mom: I hear you! I am in the midst of planning a party for DS with two other families and trying to stay calm about this whole process. My son and the other two kids put the party on Facebook - so who knows how many will show up! And since I seem to have the most time to organize, so far I’m the only parent who is really taking charge. I enjoy the planning, but I do hope the others pitch in at some point. My mother hosted a very civilized mom-daughter tea when I graduated umpteen years ago - now I’m working on anywhere from 200-300 at an outdoor park pavilion! wish me luck - and send advice please!</p>
<p>I don’t remember any big hs graduation parties when I graduated 20 years ago. Everyone had a dinner with their family, maybe a cake. Relatives and friends gave you money and that was it. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if it was a regional thing (I grew up 1200 miles from where I live now). HS grad parties are HUGE here. Like a pp, my S just wanted a family party but I was willing to host the big outdoor party with our family and 200 of his “closest” friends. I had been assuming he’d want a big party, but he had so many every weekend that he went to, ours would’ve been just one more squeezed in between. People go all out with caterers, music, decorations, etc.</p>
<p>Some years ago we moved from a region where I’d never even heard of them to one where they are a really big deal, with large invitation lists. S was not a particularly social being and had seldom gone to parties to which he was invited as an underclassman, and I had only attended them with an obligation “in-and-out” mentality myself. So when he was a senior, I expected him not to want one, but he did. I think the lure of the above-mentioned fish was a factor originally. I was terrified no one would actually show up, but I really enjoyed going through old pictures and videos to make a short film of mostly humorous clips from his early life, making a mix of songs that seemed appropriate to his past and future, and serving food from the region of our roots (the South) to midwesterners. I was surprised by how many people we had–especially his classmates. I think the most successful ones here are the ones held during a weekend day that draw a large mix of people, and his did. I began to see how important it is to the seniors as a good reason for a last flurry of large-scale socialization–even S attended them nonstop for his class–and as a chance for the senior to really feel affirmed. By the time of D’s, I knew she and I would both want one–at first she wanted one with her BFF, but that mom nixed the idea and I was secretly glad. I enjoyed all the same things and found it much less stressful to estimate what would be eaten, even though D was more social and involved with more adults as well so I knew the numbers would be larger. A year later, she still talks about how great it was. It definitely all seemed worthwhile looking in the rearview mirror.</p>
<p>The seniors and even some adults like teachers–are on the run and just grazing, so we did D’s late afternoon and vastly simplified the menu and got as many genuine compliments about it as we had for S’s brunch. As for the Facebook invitations, I don’t think they really changed the number who showed up for D’s Open House that much; there were several who were marginal but responded “yes” that didn’t show, so I wouldn’t count the entire number of replies in my expected count if I were you.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s a regional thing. Sophmore year, Son was invited to one senior’s open house. Junior year, he was invited to a lake party for two of his friends. Probably cost the parents less than $100 for hot dogs, chips, drinks and a sheet cake. And he went to his girl friend’s open house. Again, a few desserts and some drinks. If there are elaborate parties going on, we don’t know about them. (Of course, there’s always the big alcoholic blowout at some irrepsonsible parent’s lake house but Son’s never on that invite list.)</p>
<p>We also didn’t have the big party when we graduated, but it is done now where we live. None of these are huge parties, in the sense of great expense (at least any that I’ve attended). They’re all more “drop-in open houses,” where the kids invite their friends and you invite your friends and the adults that have had an impact on your kid. My BF and I throwing an open house for our d’s who have been bff’s since they were 2, always holding joint birthday parties together since they were born two weeks apart. But … it’s very low key, drop in, have some cake … maybe a bit of nibblies … have some laughs at the photo albums out and then move on to the next. We actually enjoy these weekend where we spend the weekend bouncing from party to party and celebrating with all our friends. By the cake … there’s usually a small basket in case someone brings a card or something for the graduate, but no one’s paying attention. Folks who’ve known the kids longest and best usually do drop a card in the basket … but the rest, not so much. We invite their youth ministers and sunday school teachers and such … and there’s no way those people could or would be expected to bring a gift to every child they’ve mentored. Usually the “gifts” come from “uncle or aunt” so and so … a close family friend. </p>
<p>And, for us … this is the family party we once might have had. We have no family attending our D’s graduation. All her grandparents are gone and the few others there are live out of state and cannot attend. So, our “church family” is our surrogate family. We all look forward to these every year. :)</p>
<p>zebes, knowing I won’t be doing much cooking for a couple of weekends as we bounce from barbeque to barbeque. :)</p>
<p>These mega-parties are just one more overindulgence in a long line of overindulgences. Most of this is for the parents, let’s be honest with ourselves.</p>
<p>Yes, celebrate, but keep it in scale to what you are celebrating. My daughter had her “big” party last year for Confirmation, and it consisted of sandwiches and cake for about 40 people that were either family or close friends. This year, her graduation celebration will be even smaller than that, and very low key (immediate family and a couple of friends). We told her this already, and she is totally fine with it. But, she’s a reasonable, low-key type of kid who has her priorities very much in order. I’d like to think I had a little bit to do with that! ;-)</p>
<p>After my graduation, I just went home to change and then went to work at my job.</p>
<p>Son never had a graduation - we didn’t bother making him a diploma either. It was a slow cutover to college courses - you couldn’t spot a demarcation.</p>
<p>I skipped both of my university graduations too. I think that I was overseas at the times.</p>
<p>After my graduation, we jumped in the car and headed straight for the beach.</p>
<p>We didn’t do parties for either of our kids. A couple of their friends had parties but they were really just glorified cookouts with hamburgers and hot dogs. Parents were not invited. I don’t think the big graduation blow-out is as big here as other parts of the country.</p>
<p>We are in somewhat the same boat with all family out of town, one set of grandparents is coming and the other can’t be bothered. The killer for us is that graduation is at 10 am Sunday morning…no church family at that graduation!</p>
<p>While I don’t think it’s necessary to have an all-out bash, the idea of having a big party is related to the momentousness of graduating from high school. This is the last time in their lives where they will be following more or less the same paths as their peers. Now some will be going to work, some to college, and some will go on to graduate school or professional school, etc.</p>
<p>It’s not even so much the friends as it is the character of life. Everything up until high school is pretty set. From this point forward, anything is possible – and that can be scary, even if it is thrilling. It is a major paradigm shift for most high school students, and celebrating graduation from high school is as much about the achievement as it is looking forward.</p>
<p>Grad parties are huge around here. The public HS actually does a “grad night” where the kids go to a supervised party from 9 pm to 6 am the night of graduation in addition to the private parties.</p>
<p>Years ago my hs graduation party was a group effort. We had a “progressive” party where we went to different people’s houses for different parts of a three course meal. Living in a city made it easy and fun to get around. No teenage driving to worry about.</p>