<p>I was catching up with a friend today (by email). Our children have been friends forever. I was telling her how I can't believe that this summer we will start the application process. I knew from previous conversations that her son would most likely be applying to our state schools for college. So I emailed her today and told her to remember to apply very early (like as soon as they come out - end of summer) so that her son would be in contention for some merit scholarships.</p>
<p>I just opened my email and it reads "What is a merit scholarship?"</p>
<p>OMG! Really! I was shocked and also disappointed. Because the fact of the matter is that if I think about it, most of my friends know nothing about the application process, how to pay for college or where their child might fit (instead of the college down the street).</p>
<p>Why are so many parents uniformed. Is it the parents fault, the childs fault, the schools fault. I don't know, I just keep thinking about the parents in my town and I would bet you 80% of them have never researched colleges or anything about the college process. Its really a shame. I guess I'm just venting but that email floored me.</p>
<p>I have to say that I’m not at all surprised. The college process requires learning a lot of information and I think parents don’t realize that this is something they should start looking into once their child is in 10th grade - so that they will have the basic info they need by 11th grade. But most hs do not start working with parents of juniors until right now - January is a popular time for hs to start a junior parents night - I actually just came back from one at my son’s hs.</p>
<p>I was speaking with a cousin last week - mother of a junior - and I asked how the college process was starting out for them. Not only have they done absolutely nothing - but this mother (who does not work outside the home) said she was leaving it entirely up to her daughter as it is “her process”. And while I believe in giving teens a degree of responsibility in this process - I do think parents have to take a role also - start creating a list of schools, start planning college visits, learn about testing requirements, etc. But, I didn’t say much - told her to call me if she has any questions and left it at that.</p>
<p>I have been contemplating if their is an opportunity to get local parents educated. I know the local high school provides some services - but they don;t get to the nuts and bolts early enough.</p>
<p>I agree. I find it somewhat annoying to encounter parents of juniors - and it is now midway through junior year - who want to ask me really basic questions like the difference between EA and ED. I’m very happy to help friends/acquaintances when I can - but I wish they would do a little reading on their own first.</p>
<p>If a student is talented and with potential, parents need to get dialed in and advise their child back in middle school. The kinds of classes that are takec even back then may set them up for better opportunities down the road.</p>
<p>This is so true. You don’t have to want an Ivy League school or top 25, so much info is not looked at. I’ve always researched things for my children and tried to pass on what I learned, but most parents I’ve met, even friends do minimal. They don’t know about local scholarships, EA vs ED, that private schools can be cheaper than state…so many assumptions and misinformation also. </p>
<p>To make it worse, many GC’s at public schools don’t have a lot of info either, my daughter taught her “newbie” guidance counselor a few things. I just think it’s a shame, that sometimes a better school or better FA package could have been made if more info was known.</p>
<p>I think that part of the problem is that the typical parent of a 10th grader has no idea of how complicated the college admissions process and financing a college education can be. They have no idea how much they don’t know. They recall their own process of applying to 2-3 school and assume things have not changed all that much. or - they overestimate how much the hs is going to do for them.</p>
<p>I think the proof of this is borne out in some of the threads on CC every year - from people who have gotten themselves into some unfortunate predicaments - and they all generally say that they wish they knew back then what they know now. </p>
<p>But with so much info available both on-line and in print - it is hard for me to understand why a parent of a 9th or 10th grader would not start doing some very basic research now.</p>
<p>But then again - when I was at that stage - I didn’t do so either!</p>
<p>Our high school hosted a junior parents college information night in MARCH.</p>
<p>At that time, they gave out a handout that suggested the students should attempt the SAT in January or March. It was already too late to register for March, and, of course, January was in the past.</p>
<p>I had not been aware that the SAT was offered so frequently. In my day, we took it in the spring of junior year, around the same time as finals. There was one more opportunity to re-take in about Sept/Oct of senior year. We happened to discover in January that a lot of the kids were taking the SAT in January–too late for my kid to take it, but early enough for us to plan for the February ACT and March SAT.</p>
<p>We were behind the 8-ball already by the time we went to college night. We would have been SERIOUSLY behind if we hadn’t gotten information from other people.</p>
<p>Every time I find myself in a conversation with another parent who is clueless about the college process, I give 'em the CC website info. I warn them to stay off the Ivy threads, though, as there are some pretty scary postings out there :)</p>
<p>I remember reading earlier this year about a parent here in California who thought that since she paid state tax, her little dumpling was entitled to attend the state school of their choice. Couldn’t understand why Berkeley wasn’t automatic since that is where her very average little progeny wanted to go.</p>
<p>I think one reason is that the process is so different from when THEY went to college.</p>
<p>Merit scholarships are more popular today than when THEY went to college. They may have gone to colleges that didn’t offer merit scholarships. The app process begins so much earlier. The cost is sooooooo much higher than when they went to college. Many students who went to college in the 70s/80s were able to work their way thru college…now that’s very difficult, if not impossible.</p>
<p>My sister, a parent of a junior, is not informed about the college process (she applied to and attended the local state college, her husband did not attend college, and the D’s high school does not offer much guidance). She is a great mom, but VERY busy working full-time and has two younger children. She reads the newspaper most days —but there is very little time left in the day for much else. </p>
<p>I had her come with me to the financial aid night at my junior D’s private HS in December, and she will go to our junior parent guidance meeting next week. Some people need help figuring out what help they need.</p>
<p>It’s amazing how little people know and often, how little they want to know. It IS a daunting process, and around here at least it seems people have given very little thought to the financial aspects, so they’re sticking their heads in the sand now because they don’t know what else to do. It would be great, I think, if high schools held college planning nights for the parents of freshmen. I don’t know, on one hand I’m really grateful that D isn’t in a pressure-cooker suburban high school, and on the other I see a lot of opportunities passing our local kids by.</p>
<p>It is the same reason parents don’t concern themselves about ensuring their kids never get a cavity, eat correctly, get proper sleep, stay away from questionable friends, and not learn spiritual principles to inculcate solid time tested values. In a word, most parents are…lazy. Just the facts, ma’am; just the facts. I am so glad I have been treated by my parents as though God loaned me to them and that is why they have treasured and honored me.</p>
<p>My parents don’t know anything about college, still, and I am graduating college this year. They didn’t go, they didn’t expect their kids to go (hoped we would, thought we would, but did not assume that we would), if we happened to manage it to them it’s gravy. It just wasn’t something that was on their radar. One of my older cousins just graduated and I am about to, and we are the first in the family to even really attend. It’s just not taken for granted in my family that a person will go to college, that’s just an extra step we can take if we want to and if we are willing to do it alone. Given that attitude, it’s not surprising my folks are not experts. It’s just not a priority in this family.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids - I have encouraged my friend each time my son has taken tests (ACT / SAT Subject / and most recently the SAT). I actually see it with two friends of mine. Both of these friends this is their third child - but the smartest in each family. The one friend I mentioned above her first did not go to college and her second went to community college. And my other friend, both of her older children went to the same in-state school (not very highly ranked). But they just don’t see the opportunities for their youngest. You know it’s very hard when the people you’re talking to don’t seem to have an interest in what you’re saying. I start to talk college and they move on very quickly. They are just not interested.</p>
<p>I did send my friend an email with information pertaining to our state school merit scholarships.</p>
<p>(note: this is sort of a reiteration of what other parents have been saying) The application process includes so much information to sift through. No one cares about the admission process until their child has to go through it, and learning about the whole process can be daunting. I’ve been educating my parents on the ins and outs of private school admissions (I have an older brother who applied 10 years ago only to public colleges, so that’s all they know) and financial aid. Combined with how early families have to begin this process, it’s no wonder families of high school children are basically deer in the headlights when it comes to college admissions.</p>
<p>^^Maybe your S should be sending these things to friend’s S. The parents will probably never change, but the kid is capable of meeting deadlines and submitting applications himself if he cares. We kids with non-college minded parents have to find our own way sometimes. I did literally everything by myself without even having a knowledgeable GC, it is certainly possible.</p>
<p>Well, if it’s their oldest child, it’s a new process and a lot of it is opaque sort of like the 1st time you buy a house. I think a lot of people assume that the HS GC’s will tell them/their kids everything they need to know. </p>
<p>Agree with other posters that the process has changed so much since those parents applied to college. The admission rates, the costs (how many posts do we see here on CC when people are shocked by their EFC?) the choices available. </p>
<p>Then if you have a kid who is a high achiever, well meaning teachers, friends & relatives say things like “oh, he’ll be able to write his own ticket!” and those marketing letters from HYP seem to back that up. </p>
<p>The reality is that outside of the CC bubble, most kids end up going to a local state school. GC’s are proficient in helping kids navigate those waters. Our HS was pretty good about emphasizing when certain deadlines were coming up for Big State U and for the state merit scholarships. Which was sufficient for the majority of the students.</p>