Children have different innate talents as well as different personalities. Our oldest was a very early reader (e.g., tested 5th grade when he entered Kindergarten) and fascinated by numbers. We never had to push him, but we “fed” him books, tools (calculators, computer access), and he loved games. In school he never seemed to have any homework, b/c he finished it all in school – doing his Spanish during his English class, math in his chemistry class, etc. So when he was home he could spend time on his hobbies, as well as teach himself to do things on the computer. One thing he couldn’t do: art. He didn’t have the small motor skills or the ability to draw things from life. By middle school he placed second in a statewide math competition. We didn’t know he was prepping for it! He never prepped for standardized tests. Got superior scores. He was a champion debater. For college, he only asked that it be a “place where it’s safe to be a thinker.” He wasn’t looking for prestige and refused to look at rankings or guidebooks. He did not want to visit colleges before applying to them.
Then there is #2. Born 3 years later. Same parents. Her strong early talent was art. Give her colored markers or pencils, and she could design things. She could draw what she could see. She did very well in math, science, and other subjects, but wasn’t very interested in most of them. She was, however, a good, early reader. But she put in her extra time in middle and high school projects by doing art pieces (drawing, constructions) illustrating books that interested her. It was no surprise to us that she wanted to attend art school for college. That she did. Never looked at college guidebooks, rankings, discussion boards (like CC). Graduated with a BFA. Later went back to school for an MS and MBA (for which she studied hard and earned superior scores on the GMAT).
We learned from those kids that we couldn’t and shouldn’t impose a set of goals for achievements (EC’s) and test scores. We were far from indifferent about their activities and achievements. But our role was mainly to provide resources, pat them on the back, not to push them. They would do well enough without that. And they did.