<p>At the risk of …</p>
<p>I wish she was a day student in terms of missing her…that’s all. I wish I lived in a area where my d could walk to a great school. The best of both worlds would be if I lived 2 hours away, driving, not 2+ hours on a plane.</p>
<p>For my d, boarding was an added advantage. Many parents cant see themselves being without their kids, their kids define them, that is not my case.</p>
<p>At another risk…
A’s mom, I’ve seen you write that your daughter’s only other option other than BS was college…yet she’s taking geometry.</p>
<p>It doesn’t sound like she’s max’d out of high school. From your previous posts, I was wondering if she was so advanced, that she surpassed what public schools and other private high schools could afford her like Calculus etc.</p>
<p>I don’t doubt you think DA is the best fit for her, but it doesn’t sound like your 10th grader was headed for college or bust. If a great student is not challenged by their local PS, most ps’s will help find opportunities including those on line. I just don’t see that she max’d out on what her local school system could provide, but that’s just me.</p>
<p>I think Pulsar is just pointing out again (and no we’re not one and the same) what has been discussed on this forum many times before, that smart students don’t need BS to be successful, and as others have pointed out, if BS is your only opportunity for a student that needs others around them to keep their motivation up, or make connections, or feel good about their education, then to each his/her own. </p>
<p>Still there are lots of smart kids who are in situations where it may not be cool to be smart, who continue to hold their own and seek out opportunities and thrive, who are starved for knowledge and who find their own paths without a tony HADES school behind them. And who get into fantastic colleges (small liberal arts colleges or IVIES).</p>
<p>@pulsar: So I hear you. You are convinced that boarding schools - HADES included or HADES especially - are overrated and when all things considered are not better than public schools. After this much “debate”, you know that no one can persude you to believe otherwise. Meanwhile, every point you are making here is being dismissed invariably so you know you are not changing anyone else’s mind either. Then let me ask you: Why the hell are you still hanging around here? Wouldn’t it be more productive for you to get out of here and move on with your life? </p>
<p>Now, you can choose to stay, which looks very likely, but consider this: first, like many forums, this one is a “supporting group”. As you noted, most people here have “invested interest” in boarding schools. You are sadly lonely here. If you do seriously believe your mission is to inform people who are new to the boarding school scence with different perspectives, I suggest you open a new platform and then work hard on it so it pops up to the top when people google “prep school”. That should be the most effective way to get your points across. Second, think what you are trying to do here. Are you just trying to convince yourself or are you are trying to influnce others that boarding school is bad? If you are trying to convert believers of BS into non-believers, what exactly do you expect to be their new “religion”? A broken public school system, which is almost a common perception? Don’t be like a “bagger”, spreading frustration without any viable solutions. You are obviously a smart kid. You will be fine in your public school. Kids smart as you who are going to HADES would be OK in a public school too, but they and their parents chose to and were lucky enough to be able to attend a better school - best they could find and possibly do. That’s all. Don’t overthink, please.</p>
<p>@moms and some dads: let’s move beyond the point of reassuring each other and justifying that we have made the right choice. Most of us are already on this ship. Let’s focus on how to make this trip better. Let’s get “technical and constructive”. Just my 2c.</p>
<p>@DAndrew: Well put.</p>
<p>@pulsar: While I agree with your points some of the time, you often stoop to insults or insinuations — and you seem to be fond of picking apart/pouncing on even the most innocent of statements. Which wholly undermines your platform, IMO. You obviously have an agenda. I wish you would just state it — and what your interest/involvement is to BS — clearly, so we all know why you might have the POV you keep injecting into discussions here.</p>
<p>@erkybk: Going back to your original questions…the advantage for our family is that the distance from our current day school (which is K-12) is about 50 minutes each way. A while ago, someone mentioned the concept of the 100 mile roundtrip play date…well, we just had a 2 hour round trip sleepover. Throw in sports or other ECs and that’s a lot of driving/scheduling to coordinate. Could our D go to the local public school and “fly”? Probably. But as others have noted, NCLB has indeed left many kids near the top behind. As it is, she’s still one of the “nerds” at her well-regarded day school. Where do you think that would leave her at a public school?</p>
<p>We are looking into BS schools to address both of these issues. While I went to an Ivy myself, I don’t feel like my kids have to…they should go to the school that is right for their interests. And right now, that’s looking like University of Montana and FIT, respectively.</p>
<p>After 4 years at Blair, my son benefited in countless ways well beyond college applications. As it turns out, he is attending a University that places in almost all top 10 lists, but that wasn’t the reason he went to boarding school. We have a great public school where we live that also offers good college matriculation and challenging academics for honors-tracked students. Blair is better in those areas, but not that different once the comparison is made to honors-tracked students.</p>
<p>The experience is so different. He learned new sports at Blair. In fact, the 3 sports he pursued were all new to him. Now in college, he is learning yet another sport, and probably boarding school gave him the confidence to try new things. He has a great network of close friendships, many of which will last a lifetime. He feels comfortable around adults, and has made friendships with a number of faculty members that should also last for many years. His advisor always had his back, and son is disappointed that he does not have a similar advisor in college. The leadership opportunities were abundant. He feels confident speaking/debating in class, which the small class size allows. Public speaking is enjoyable. I could go on and on.</p>
<p>The important thing is to find a school in which your child can thrive. If you find the right fit, be it public, day or boarding, your child will thrive and do well. Go just for the academics and be a grind might not be the best fit for many.</p>
<p>red-my d was headed for college because the level of our local high schools would not have given her challenge.</p>
<p>No offense red, but I dont think you are an educator. Many classes that kids take in high school are repeated in college settings. No my d is not ready for calculus, but took algebra in college in 6th grade. It was my choice to not place her in a college social setting at the age of 12. A bs chemistry class is the same as an intro chemistry class in college, trust me, I teach college chemistry.</p>
<p>Maxing out in high school, it is clear that so many people dont realize that the lives they live are not common. I think very few people, percentage wise, live in areas where kids are constantly shot and killed. For many students and parents here the life my d lived at home is so foreign it seems impossible. I am happy for those parent and kids who never experience random gun shots or a 15 who cant walk alone 3 blocks to a store for chips.</p>
<p>You assume, incorrectly, that we had local high schools to met her needs, we dont.</p>
<p>You are right, smart student do not need bs to be successful, but some kids need bs to stay alive.</p>
<p>I know this is a long shot, but I will assume that a moving like “waiting for superman” will not make you believe that there are kids that struggle to stay safe and get a decent education.</p>
<p>Red and please remind me, you are a parent? student? inner city? minority? bs ? public/private school?</p>
<p>I’m a parent of a minority student who now attends BS.</p>
<p>No, I am not an educator, but I too graduated from an ivy from a regular public school and went on to professional school and served as an Army medical officer before working in a community setting and teaching at a top medical school.</p>
<p>I won no lottery, am FP and continue to be a critical thinker, trying to decide if BS is worth the $40,000+ annually (seems like more with books, travel expenses, laundry, clothes, etc.)given our situation of a very safe and good ps. Yes, I can see where for others ps is not viable.</p>
<p>This board has made it very clear that we are not all in the same boat. For me, I need to try to figure out if BS is the right step for son #1 and child #2 who is finishing up middle school. We are still evaluating. Just like I think it is hard for parents to know what the application process entails, if you’ve never gone thru it before, I think it’s hard to know what to expect from a BS education if you are just at the beginning of the journey. We will continue to learn from others’ experience as well as rely on our own firsthand experience with our son. But I still have not landed on the conclusion that BS (at least for my family) has benefits that our local ps education could not provide.</p>
<p>And before I get…“you’re not who you say you are because… you say you’re not an educator yet teach at a top medical school.”</p>
<p>By that I mean I didn’t get a degree in education. My degrees are in chemistry and medicine and now I happen to teach residents.</p>
<p>@redblue: My suggestion to you is talk to parents of recent graduates and/or seniors of your child’s school. If you can find not just one but several who have similar background and expectations from the BS as you do, you could find what you are looking for much more easily. You are right - some parents here on this board have just started the journey and don’t really know what they have gotten themselves into (:trying to scare them:). Others may have experience with the schools that are very different from your child’s. So talk to parents of your child’s school…</p>
<p>I’m talking to everyone…but good idea.</p>
<p>Yeah, I sorta wonder why I’m here. But I think it’s better than where I could be at public school right now.</p>
<p>Although many aspects have been raised and discussed with respect to schools, teachers, local vs. boarding etc. to adequately answer the OP question “What are real advantages of attending Boarding Schools?” you really have to examine the student individually at the end of their time at the respective school.</p>
<p>Generally speaking no matter how good Exeter might be if a student has a lower SAT score coupled with an uninspiring GPA you might questions:</p>
<ol>
<li>What they got from their experience</li>
<li>What opportunities might be available given their experience (performance)</li>
</ol>
<p>Conversely, if the student goes above and beyond the “call of duty” he/she can increase their probability of getting the most of their experience and have choices their underperforming peers might not. IMO we can only hope our children benefits from the BS experience but like any investment the verdict remains unanswered until they graduate or for some many years afterwards.</p>
<p>exsrch, That’s very analytical and makes one ponder. 
Recently there is a study comparing the work performances of ivey and non-ivey grads 10 years down the road and found no difference. Apparantly it is what one can and would like to accomplish at work rather than where they came from.</p>
<p>red-at the risk of becoming rude…I will just assume that we are both parents of minority students attending bs with totally different backgrounds and values. I totally get why fp parents look at bs very differently from almost full fa parents. I understand that economic strength allows your attitudes to develop differently. </p>
<p>Make sure you investigate not just the price tag but the ability for your minority child to thrive and survive in an environment where they are very much in the minority. </p>
<p>I honestly hope your high school quest to bs land, or not, is successful.</p>
<p>Alex mom: Not sure about “economic strength” and “attitudes”…we make a decent living, but work lots of hours in order to be able to pay for BS…from your previous writing, I know you have your own biased ideas about FP parents.</p>
<p>The top BS schools are need blind. They have already evaluated kids for admission based on merit, and how they can contribute and if they have the qualities they think are needed to thrive, including minorities. My son is doing very well, thank you much.</p>
<p>I’m not worried if he has what it takes to survive and thrive…I’m trying to figure out if he is getting anything he couldn’t get locally at our safe, good PS. All I know right now is that he loves it.</p>
<p>Exsrch above has said it best: <<imo we=“” can=“” only=“” hope=“” our=“” children=“” benefits=“” from=“” the=“” bs=“” experience=“” but=“” like=“” any=“” investment=“” verdict=“” remains=“” unanswered=“” until=“” they=“” graduate=“” or=“” for=“” some=“” many=“” years=“” afterwards.=“”>> I agree with this.</imo></p>
<p>When it comes to expectations of quality of education and what’s to be gained from BS experience, there should be no difference between FP families and families on FA. The FA comes from school’s endowment not the tuition paid by FP families. As a matter of fact, because the total cost of education is higher than the tuition, even FP students are on partial FA. While the FA families should be grateful that the school makes it possible for them to have this opportunity, they shouldn’t lower their expectations. That’s not what the school wants to see, just like the school wouldn’t/shouldn’t treat FA students any differently than FP students.</p>
<p>As for FP families, while some are working hard and struggling to pay, which is admirable, they should still consider themselves lucky to be able to do so. With top BS’s, the applicant pool is big enough that they don’t need to lower their standards to find FP students, so FP are just as qualified as FA students. On the other hand, as very few schools explicitly declare the need-blind policy, FP families still have an advantage in gaining admission. Granted, some don’t need that advantage in getting in a certain school but we have seen many times that FP students end up having more admissions than FA students. The point is, don’t feel bad that you have to pay if you CAN pay. Many many people want to be in your position.</p>
<p>DAndrew-there are always concerns when there is FA vs FP. Not all kids make a difference but if their parents have issues, the kids tend to notice also. </p>
<p>You can always look toward affirmative action. My d and my self have been thought to have gained certain “advantages” because of our minority status, even from other minority members. It isnt until we are able to prove (usually in the classroom) that we are worthy that others get over the idea that we are present, (or at least leave us alone). </p>
<p>Yes I firmly believe that most FA kids have to be at the top of their game to be admitted, when FP kids are also applying for something. I do believe that kids like my d are an example to kids of other cultures, economic and/or otherwise. Many would be surprised of the questions that my d has gotten from others because she is different. Some questions are the same that I was asked 30 years ago.</p>
<p>My biased ideas about FP parents come from first hand experience, mine and my d’s. We know it exist, we dont harp on it but accept the fact that “it is what it is” and we move on.</p>
<p>I agree 100% with DAndrew’s note that “it comes to expectations of quality of education and what’s to be gained from BS experience”. However, its not entirely accurate to say that FA comes ‘entirely’ from endownment. Because…FP families are asked to donate towards the endownment. Our own limited [a couple of schools] experience with this, is that FA families are excluded from the ‘call’ list for these donations. And most FP families do make donations towards the endownment or general fund. Maybe these donations are not officially ‘tuition’. But as someone who has made donations, we mentally consider it part of the ‘tuition’.</p>
<p>Really? The two schools you had experience are top BS? Among the so called GLADCHEMMS? Anyone can confirm that FA families never donate no matter how much FA they receive?</p>
<p>I didn’t say that FA familes don’t make donations. Some certainly do! All I said was, in our limited experience FA families did not receive a direct call like the FP families. Yes, this is with ‘top’ boarding schools. The ‘A’ list of schools.
We have volunteered in the past as a parent in these fund drive committees and made many calls. So you might say we have actual experience. :-; We get a list to call with all the FA families deleted. I don’t know if this is commonly done or just in our limited experience.</p>