<p>I know that plenty of people have asked this question before. However, none of the answers really apply to me. I transferred after my first semester of college to my current college. I go to a school that fall rushes, so after going to school there for a semester, I rushed at the beginning of my sophomore year. I graduated from a local high school, so I knew quite a few girls in the sororities. I didn't have a bad reputation in high school, and I didn't party at all once I transferred to this college, so I know it wasn't my reputation. I had rec letters to most houses, and one of my rec letters came from a close friend who was head of her sorority's alumni chapter in her state. I have a 3.9 GPA, and I was quite involved in high school and my old college. I had a couple of activities from my current college. In addition, not to sound conceited, I think I'm a fairly attractive and easy to talk to girl. However, after the first round, every house dropped me except the "bottom two" and one more middle tier house. At pref night, only the bottom sorority house was on my list. I'm not judging them for being known as this, just trying to explain my situation. I sincerely don't know what happened that I didn't even make it past the first round for most of these houses. My best friend and close friend spoke for me in their sorority when they were going through the girls during work week. I spoke to my best friend and a couple of her friends during the first round, and yet my friend said the committee cut me despite my high score. I simply don't understand what I did wrong. All the other sophomores had at least 5 houses after first round. I was even dropped from the house where I felt I had the best conversation at and had strong recs for. </p>
<p>If they don’t want you for whatever reason…please don’t care. I am anti Greek…you don’t need to pay dues to buy friends. Make friends on campus and have fun…living well is the best revenge.</p>
<p>Of course she cares. it hurts. There are simply not enough spaces for all of those vying for one. Those with stronger pull than you got the spots. That’s about all it means. most likely. This is why I hate frats and sororities. The whole thing is based on exclusion.</p>
<p>Find a bunch of great girls in a similar situation, contact a national and start a new sorority.</p>
<p>I agree with @cptofthehouse. I know you must be disappointed, but it really is not a reflection on you or anything that you did or didn’t do. This is exactly the reason that I, too, see very little value in the exclusionary nature of the Greek system at our institutions of higher learning. Join some clubs, do some community service and you will find fun, like minded peers who you don’t have to pay to be your friends. You can do it!</p>
<p>You didn’t do anything wrong. Sororities are allowed to select their own members, and their selection is not necessarily a reflection on you as a person, but just their own preferences and desires. It could be something as silly as they didn’t like the clothes you wore the first day, or that someone in the house was jealous of you for some reason. Or it could be that as competitive as you are, they had several other more competitive girls who wanted into the house. It could’ve been because you were a sophomore; a lot of sororities only want to rush or prefer to rush freshmen (because then they will have 3.5 solid years in the house). At some schools leadership on campus is important, and it’s difficult to get selected if you’re not really involved on campus. It could literally be anything.</p>
<p>The thing is - you will probably never know for sure. Sorority members aren’t supposed to speak about their selection decisions, so unless one of your friends goes against the grain you won’t find out.</p>
<p>I don’t blame you for feeling down about it! Greek life is really important to some people, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t feel bad about feeling down and out. However, I agree that after you allow yourself to grieve a little, you need to put it out of your mind. You can try again next year (or do COB if your university has it - some sororities will have open spots in the spring if people depledge). Or you can move on to other kinds of activities that will fulfill that niche for you.</p>
<p>Also, I wish we could drop the “paying for your friends” line. I’m not in a sorority, so I have no personal horse in this race. But all student organizations require dues. The dues that sorority members pay (much like the dues that other student organizations pay) go to maintenance of their physical spaces, to sorority effects like the pins, and to support their activities and philanthropic mission.</p>
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<p>It sounds like you did make it into a sorority and from the title of your thread, it sounds like you are judging them. </p>
<p>Frankly, caring about the bogus rankings is really unattractive, makes you look like a social climber, and misses the whole point of a sisterhood which is the support network and lifelong bonds. </p>
<p>Did you meet and like some of the women in the sorority that wanted you? If so, join and don’t look back. If not, why do you think you are better than them?</p>
<p>I’m sorry. I believe that there is random bad luck, but I also think maybe someone said something about you in one of your letters (or were their different letters sent to different houses?) that perhaps inadvertently made you look a bit off – sometimes people don’t know how to write good letters. </p>
<p>I am a mom but, a long time ago, I was a rush captain for my sorority. </p>
<p>If your grades are good and you connected with the members, it could have been that you didn’t meet enough girls to be memorable when it came time to vote. </p>
<p>Another possibility is that often there are more rushees than the allowed quota numbers. Even girls who “have it all” get cut. Spots get claimed internally for high school friends and legacies. An unpleasant legacy can displace the sweetest girl. I know of one chapter that had so many legacies, you had to be a double legacy to be given preferential treatment.</p>
<p>It’s very discouraging not to get a bid but, it happens regularly. Please recognize the likelihood that it had absolutely nothing to do with anything you said or did. Plenty of girls move forward and join spirit groups that have all the perks of a sorority. Look around and see what other options might be available to you. </p>
<p>Personally, I had just as many friends outside my sorority as inside. Take the gifts you have and find another group where you can shine!</p>
<p>It all depends on how you interacted with the members. That’s honestly 90% of it. They won’t want you to be a sister if they don’t know/like you.</p>