<p>Just wanted to share with all of you that I am not yet facing what you’ve been facing this week (our youngest graduates high school in May), but I got a little teary eyed just reading your heartfelt posts…I know our turn is coming all too soon. </p>
<p>We are still in the exciting phase of narrowing down the college choices, having just returned from Loyola and Tulane over the weekend, and still just a few more to go in early Fall, including Bama. It helps to know so many others have trudged the road ahead of you.</p>
<p>I recall the saying about parenting: “The years fly by, but the days last forever.”</p>
<p>i’m a single mom of an only child. i left my daughter in her dorm at RCS-N on Sunday morning as I wasn’t prepared to leave on Saturday. Because we spent so much time preparing for her dorm room and overpacking, she felt totally comfortable in her dorm room. Neither of us cried. However, today at work I found myself constantly thinking about her and what she’s doing and feeling really out of the loop because I can’t picture anything in my mind as it’s all unfamiliar territory for me. I am hoping I’ll adjust and stop feeling like I have left all the joy and light in my life in Tuscaloosa.</p>
<p>just knowing that others before us have survived this same plight makes me feel better. it’s really hard trying to remember that i was a person with a life 19 years ago that didn’t revolve around my child. guess i’ll have to figure out what to do now in the evenings to keep myself occupied so i don’t drive her crazy on the phone.</p>
<p>One of the things I will occupy myself with is making some curtains and things for her room. I’ll keep busy and feel like I am still doing some things for her.</p>
<p>A suggestion for those of you who now have extra time on your hands. There are many organizations that could use your volunteer help - many where you can work with kids . I’ll put in a plug for one I volunteer with</p>
<p>After provided training, you can become a court appointed volunteer advocate for a child in the foster care system. It’s hard work - the stories are heart breaking - but you can much a huge difference in the life of a child. I do work full time and volunteer as well. This is not for everyone, though. If not that organization, you can find other volunteer opportunities through sites such as [VolunteerMatch</a> - Where Volunteering Begins](<a href=“http://www.volunteermatch.org/]VolunteerMatch”>http://www.volunteermatch.org/).</p>
<p>Everyone who knows me knows that I am an emotional person. I get teary-eyed watching the news! One friend told me to not get dehyrated form my crying on the way home… So why didn’t I shed a tear when it came time to say good bye? I guess it was because my son was so happy and looking forward to all that awaits him at UA and because I know he is where he should be. Another reason is probably because of all the wonderful advice and stories CC posters have shared… THANKS SO MUCH! I forget who suggested we simply say "I love you. I will see you in 6 weeks. Roll Tide!"and then walk away…That was great advice. If I had not done that I would probably have tried to leave my son with some great bits of wisdom and upset him. I must admit that on our way home I did get choked up a few times…Once was when I noticed the clocks in our car and phones had changed times - We were now in a different time zone than our son!!! For some reason that hit me hard.</p>
<p>Great suggestion, Class2012Mom. And that is a worthy cause. My D and I had served together for the last 6 years for various philanthropies. I had already decided to undertake some training for a regional victim relief organization that helps people in crisis from crime or natural events (assuming I am approved by the organization!). Before having kids, I did something similar but via a hotline. </p>
<p>It is a new stage of life and there will be a lot of good that comes with it. It’s hard now but there is joy ahead. And I am quite happy even now that my D is excited to be where she is. It would be much worse if she were calling home crying.</p>
<p>I must be a terrible mother. No tears were shed. D seemed happy and excited when I left, and again when she texted me about her OA adventures today, so all is well in my world. Maybe it will hit later . . . .</p>
<p>Beth’s mom, you’re not a terrible mom, I did not cry as well. I anticipated that leaving S yesterday would be difficult, H got a little choked up while we were saying goodbye to him. I did not feel like crying because I know that he is where he’s suppose to be. Being a boy, he doesn’t know or want to verbalize his feelings. He’s very quiet and didn’t show much emotion. It was very weird today because I keep thinking about him and thinking what he is doing.</p>
<p>D, the boyfriend, a guy friend, and I drove down for move in on Saturday. I expected to cry before leaving. D was being a bossy pill about setting up her room, which is out of character for her. We three movers shrugged it off, knowing it’s an emotional time, but we were happy when it was done. Afterwards, we all walked around campus together then said goodbye at the car. I successfully didn’t remind -nag- her of things she needed to do. I watched her walk away, wave once and skip across the parking lot. I knew then, she’ll be fine.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I got home and realized her spot in the driveway would be empty - she wasn’t coming home later - that my tears flowed. For 2 days, our 12 year old poodle has been staring out the window waiting for D. I’m tearing up just looking at the dog, waiting for her girl to come home.</p>
<p>I am already having bouts of random tears as we prepare to move our S in on Saturday. He will be 9 hours away from us, and sadly for him, his girlfriend as well. While I am taking in all the advice I can from you knowledgeable CC’ers, I am wondering what advice I can give to my S…as we get closer to move-in, he is losing excitement and gaining tremendous nervousness about college and sadness about leaving home and his girlfriend. In fact, we sat together last night and had a tearful discussion about whether or not this decision to attend college far from home is one he can live with. He “repeats” that he wants to attend UA, enjoy all of the scholastic benefits that he has earned, and experience another part of the country. I just wish I could give him a dose of wisdom that would help increase his enthusiasm, and lessen his nervousness. It would be one thing to move in a son who is excited about this adventure…I could control my sadness and tears for that!..but I am worried about moving in a son who is not anticipating good things ahead. Anyone else in this boat with me???</p>
<p>i was in that boat 2 years denthy. as the time got closer … mine thought she has made the wrong choice. but it was kinda too late to do anything about it. we had to stick with the plan.</p>
<p>she is going into year3 now and everything turned out fine. it was a bit of a bumpy road though.</p>
<p>I’m not sure who said this, but I ran across this quote a while back and it holds very true.</p>
<p>“The hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you have been accustomed to and moving on with something that you haven’t experienced yet.”</p>
<p>Although it can be difficult for us to do as parents, I think it is important for us to realize and reassure our children that they aren’t the only students who may feel anxious…I think it can be normal to feel that way about any major change in our lives. We have all grown accustomed to life the way it has always been and it feels comfortable like a favorite pair of jeans and a snuggly sweatshirt. Friends, it’s time to sit back and allow the kids to fly. It’s a new experience and one with which we aren’t comfortable, but it’s what we have been preparing them for over the past 17 or 18 years. Relax and know that it will get better. You’re about to witness your girls and boys grow into the amazing young women and men they are meant to be…:)</p>
<p>There is a beautiful stretch of road in Michigan called the M-22, which starts roughly at Frankfort and continues up into the Leelanau Peninsula and loops back down to Traverse City, traveling through the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, which has the best fresh-water beaches on the entire planet. There is a black M-22 sticker that people who know of this magical place put on their cars. Now that I’ve told you about it, you might even begin to see these stickers for yourself in very far-flung places…and/or you may wish to make the journey to the M-22 to see what all the magic is about and get your own sticker. And once you’ve been, you will then almost always stop and chat with someone who has that same sticker on their car - you share an affinity with them that transcends words. You are fish out of water, far from that place, but you know what that M-22 stands for.</p>
<p>On the drive back home to wherever you come from, you will naturally pass several cars/vans/trucks/RVs with AL plates, sure. Most of their windows will have some sort of “Roll Tide” decals on them or “A” scripts. You expect this. It is not out of the ordinary, so it is nothing special.</p>
<p>When you leave AL, tho, and you head into other neighbouring states, there will be less and less AL vehicles, sure, but you will then begin to recognise just how many OOS folks are making the same journey you are: they really will stick out, and besides, you have a special sense to recognise them now. They will have the same “Roll Tide” and “A” decals on their windows as you do. You will smile, honk, and wave, and probably silently mouth “Roll Tide” to each other as you barrel along at 70+ miles per hour next to them. You will instantly have new road warrior friends. And even as far away as 1200 miles, I guarantee that you will see at least 1 other vehicle with some sort of 'Bama decal on it. You have a special affinity with these people now, and you will see these decals everywhere.</p>
<p>aeromom, the decal has been on the car (2 are on son’s car) since he made the Alabama decision and declined his other offers back in April! I just hope he finds the joy once again in that decision! I think he needs to jump in the pool and start swimming…</p>
<p>^^^I hope that in a few months you share the same experience that I have had…It was a few months into my son’s first semester and I simply asked him, "Do you feel like you make a good choice? (we were talking about UA as his college choice). He replied, “No, I made the RIGHT choice”.</p>
<pre><code> I sincerely wish the same experience for all of you.
Roll Tide
</code></pre>
<p>aeromom, I agree wholeheartedly about having a Bama decal on ones vehicle. I have had heard countless Roll Tides, a few War Eagles, and have gotten to talk to many interesting people as a result of having Bama decals on my car and each member of my family liking to wear something Bama-themed. Once in Las Vegas, the manager of the Paris buffet (an Auburn grad) personally escorted my family out of the 2+ hour line and through the high rollers’ entrance. He later brought me a plate of hot king crab and explained how a degree from an Alabama university could take one all over the world.</p>
<p>As I’m finishing up errands before flying down to Alabama for my senior year (where has the time gone?,) I know that it will still be hard to leave my family as we are very close. As others have mentioned, technology has allowed us to feel closer despite being hundreds, if not thousands of miles away.</p>
<p>As Sesame Street has taught us, it’s alright to cry. After awhile, we realize that we are not crying tears of sorrow, but of joy.</p>
One friend told me to not get dehyrated form my crying on the way home… So why didn’t I shed a tear when it came time to say good bye? I guess it was because my son was so happy and looking forward to all that awaits him at UA and because I know he is where he should be. Another reason is probably because of all the wonderful advice and stories CC posters have shared… THANKS SO MUCH! I forget who suggested we simply say "I love you. I will see you in 6 weeks. Roll Tide!"and then walk away…That was great advice. If I had not done that I would probably have tried to leave my son with some great bits of wisdom and upset him. I must admit that on our way home I did get choked up a few times…Once was when I noticed the clocks in our car and phones had changed times - We were now in a different time zone than our son!!! For some reason that hit me hard.</p>