I’m back and I’m feeling a lot better! If you recall my posts a few months ago, I’m doing much better in terms of social life and overall happiness. However, what has remained is my homesickness. It’s not nearly as intense as it was at the beginning, but it’s there and can be annoying.
I just got back from break and I’m finding that I want to be with my parents again, but not in a “I don’t want to be here” way. It’s hard for me to explain but is kind of like a light nostalgia. At home, I wasn’t with my parents very much aside from thanksgiving day. The rest of the time was spent with my family and friends back home. And the entire time I was excited to come back. But now that I’m here, I want to be back again. This happens every time I visit home. Thankfully, it doesn’t get in the way of anything at all and it doesn’t make me gloomy or anything but just vaguely sad. Again, it’s hard to explain.
Anyway, why do I feel this way? And does it go away eventually?
It’s a very normal feeling! I still feel that way after I visit my parents, and I’m over 50! My husband has learned to give me some space when I return from a trip home, because I feel a little sad for a few days. I’ve learned to accept it - it seems to be the price I have to pay for going to my parents’ house and being spoiled a little.
Now I’m feeling kind of the same way after my daughter, a college freshman, just left to go back to her school, 500 miles away. But she’ll be back in 2 1/2 weeks, so I will make it.
It’s just part of life. You don’t have long and you’ll be home again, right? Study hard and the time will go by quickly.
I also think that it’s very normal for college students to experience a sort of disorientation about where is “home.” You go off to college and live in a dorm or apartment where you (hopefully) feel relatively comfortable and safe, and where you are independent and treated as an adult. Then you go back “home” and probably start to see subtle changes around the house and maybe chafe at the restrictions and/or expectations of your parents. I think it’s perfectly normal in that situation to start to feel a bit conflicted about “home.” You may feel torn between what you call a “light nostalgia” and the security of home on the one hand and a natural desire to move forward toward greater independence on the other hand?
It is normal. Don’t wish it away. Appreciate that it means that you are loved and that there are people in the world who you love dearly. Not everyone has that.
