<p>The guys that show any interest in me are either emotional wrecks, clingy, old and creepy, or will screw any girl. I don't mind hookups, but I want it to be with a guy that I'm actually interested in. A guy who is my type. I do not think I'm ugly. People have said that I am beautiful, but maybe people just say that in a condescending way. Am I really just an ugly girl who should just take whatever she can get? I am not waiting for the perfect guy, but I do have standards. It's not even like I have unrealistic standards either. All I ask for is a somewhat attractive guy who I'm actually interested that is stable and mature.</p>
<p>I was also told that I come off too strongly. I don't understand. I'm not slutty at all. I dress modestly and do not approach guys for sex in any manner. Whenever I try to be subtle, I don't hit their radar, it's as if I might as well do nothing. It's either I come off too strong or I don't come off as anything at all. How do I meet the balance?</p>
<p>Should I just settle for someone as I'm probably not good looking and have crap social skills? </p>
<p>P.S. I'm not going to post a picture here. Please don't waste your time asking.</p>
<p>Well to be honest you really never know about what can happen. If your not interested in someone then it’s not worth settling it with them since there’s no actual love in the relationship. Just give it time then I’m sure someone who your interested in might see you and approach you. But I wish you well and hope that you do get approached by the boy you want.</p>
<p>**** balance. If a guy is interested, it is rather hard to come on too strongly. If you’re being told otherwise by the fellows in question thereafter, it is simply a polite excuse.</p>
<p>You need to start by changing your way of thinking. Stop thinking about “getting” guys. They are not objects; they are human beings. You also need to lower your expectations. Rich, handsome guys have where to choose from, and they know it, so it’s unlikely many of them will want to waste their time with you or most women for that matter.</p>
<p>Post a full body picture of yourself if you want an honest assessment of your looks, just crop the face.</p>
<p>^ The guys I’m talking about are not rich. They are attractive, but the girls aren’t exactly fighting over them. I’m easily identifiable, faceless pic or not. Sorry.
I guess the balance thing is ********, a guy either wants me or he doesn’t.</p>
<p>I don’t know about others, but the right personality can make an average looking girl ten times more attractive in my view. If someone is entertaining and fun to be around, it can make up for a lot.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, that’s not me. I’m a social dullard. No one is fighting to be my friend. I can fall off the face of the earth and my “friends” would barely notice…</p>
<p>You’re social dullness persists because you’re social dullness exists (woohoo for that being totally original!). </p>
<p>At some point you have to make an active change in how you socialize. Who knows, maybe guys will interact with you more, and then you’ll feel so great, and then you won’t need to come to CC, and then you’ll be happy forever and ever! Yaaaay!</p>
<p>I do, I seriously do. You have no idea how many phone numbers I have received this year alone. I’m an active member of a club. I am a friendly person. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing wrong. Does anyone have a clue?
It’s just that no one really gives a **** about me because my personality is lame or unlikable. I don’t even know why it is either.</p>
<p>^ I haven’t posted on a message board in weeks. I was too busy doing school related stuff, including hanging out with people. I’m just looking for a perspective from people who aren’t obligated to care about me in any way, ex. strangers.</p>
<p>^^Good idea. I was doing that last summer and it was great, but school put me off track. I guess I have to squeeze it in somehow…</p>
<p>Then again, I’ve seen fat girls get guys out of their league. I probably don’t have the best body, but I’m not a fat girl according to medical or personal opinions.</p>
<p>Not exactly. I did ask this guy if he had a girlfriend and seemed interested, but it just fell through. I did ask one guy if he was interested in me, but he had the tired, “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse</p>
<p>yeah, that sucks… last year I really liked this girl, and we talked a lot, but no matter what I did, she was obsessed with my best friend. it was the worst situation for a while. eventually, things changed around and we went out for a couple months, but it was a long time coming… I ended up breaking up with her, go figure. anyway the point is that what seems impossible can always happen, as long as you keep your hope and keep trying. good luck</p>
<p>These are just observations, and my opinion. </p>
<p>The simple question of “why do i never get the guys i want?” begs me to ask what makes you think anyone, not just you, is entitled to have there wants always fulfilled? Life is about give and take.</p>
<p>If you’re defending your weight, which came across from some of the comments you’ve made about working out, frankly you’re probably not up to shape for the guys you “want.” Just like you don’t want the guys that come after you and just like you have a type, others, like the guys you do want, are entitled to that same right of being picky. If you notice that the type of guy you like are with girls that don’t look like you, there’s something you can do about it, either start looking like those girls, change your type, change your personality, be more assertive, or get to actually know the guys that want you. </p>
<p>In regards to assertion, my advise is meant as if you’re looking for something sexually casual. I can pretty much guarantee you that about 90 percent if not more of the guys you approach on any given day will not reject you if you bluntly say,
“Hi my name is _______________. I find you very attractive, are you interested in going back to my place or can I go back to your place?” This is of course assuming you aren’t unattractive and that those guys don’t have a girlfriend.
In regards to assertion of getting a guy for more than just sex, frankly don’t bother. You shouldn’t force something that isn’t meant to be. Just live your life, including making friendships with guys. If those guys are not your PHYSICAL type then stop being so closed minded if everything else is going for them. I frankly don’t think people should be in relationships during college. I think most people are in college for a reason-their future. They are not there to find their husband or wife. They’re there for a degree or an education that will hopefully lead them to better or greater things. By being so obsessed with getting a guy you’ll be missing out on meeting guys that you may not have been open to in the first place but might turn out to be your future boyfriend or husband.</p>
<p>I really agree with the above. If you want a succinct saying, you might not be seeing the forest for the trees. You may also just want to <em>relax</em> about this situation, because usually people of both sexes enjoy people who are just relaxed about who they are, and how they’re living their life. It’s attractive to meet a low-key, laidback person :3 Really, just focus on your other interests, and while you’re kicking ass at doing something else, you may just find your dream guy who noticed <em>you</em> first.</p>