I’ve always been told that women care about personality way more than looks. As if personality is something that can be changed so easily.
My problem is that I have Asperger’s and ADHD. I’m simply not a charming and funny person even when I’m at my best mood. My brain isn’t wired to know what to say in a conversation so I just can’t be funny and build attraction that way.
People act like girls have it harder because looks can’t be changed. At least girls have makeup to fix some of that. For me, the personality I have is that I’m a nice person who doesn’t get into trouble. I’m not “cool” and I think it’s stupid to party and socialize all the time.
I know I’m graduating soon. But I attend University of Houston where relationships don’t commonly happen. On Valentines Day, most people out in the afternoon were single.
As far as my dating chances, I will hit the gym hard and lose my gut because I found studies that women like broad shoulders and six packs on guys. I used to have much better reception from girls a few years ago when I was skinnier, except I was way more awkward back then to notice flirting.
Tl;dr 22 year old college senior guy who never dated and is looking for help with this social mess.
Hey, have some faith in yourself! Really do!
I’m a girl: not charming or amazingly funny…in fact I’m very awkward the vast majority of the time and I freak out over stupid things and I am truly horrendeous in social situations (like really horrendeous), yet somehow I’ve got a longterm boyfriend who loves that as part of me - not despite it.
Just because society tells you that certain characteristics or looks are ‘attractive’, doesn’t mean it’s true. People are attracted to different things, and being a genuinely nice person will matter a huge amount more than so many other things.
You don’t need to change your personality to find someone - you just need to find someone that likes you for you.
And yeah, maybe losing weight might make you more conventionally attractive but don’t do it for that. Do it because you want to, for a personal goal or because you enjoy it (and who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone in the gym??)
I do not believe this for a minute. You saw what you wanted to see.
I saw less couples than expected that day. So maybe the choice of school could be a factor. But even outside of school I still didn’t have luck.
Again, you saw what you wanted to see. I’m in a relationship, but he goes to school three hours away, so it may look like I’m single, but people just walking by have no idea. Even if he went here we wouldn’t be together all the time, so that’s hardly an accurate source of data.
Also don’t most people do valentine’s day stuff in the evening, not the afternoon?
Being in shape is always a good thing. Maybe talk to a psychiatrist about your mental health and get some medication?
“Why do people think dating is easier for guys?”
lmao what planet are these people from?
Anyways to stay on topic, you said you think it’s stupid to socialize all the time. Well from your situation it sounds like on your best day, you already do not socialize as much as other people regularly do. To lessen your social interactions because you think it’s stupid would not benefit you. You can’t date ladies if you don’t want to talk to any.
What are you looking for in a girlfriend?
I am certain that girls are looking for similar things.
I mean, the University of Houston is a big college. Participate on a free event on campus, join a club, do volunteering, etc. There’s lots you can do to meet people.
Also: check out your university’s counseling center. Since you said the name of your university, I googled it and found two groups that focus specifically on communication and social anxiety. That may help you gain confidence in your conversational skills.