that seems so fun 
i wonder what i got since i was the first on that thread.
Lol my child mocks me openly for being on CC. The last thing he would ever do is spend time on CC. That means I can post here with reckless abandon!
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My kids think this is a parent board.
Another parent at a school visit recognized me from here and asked if I was Calliemomofgirls on CC and my kids teased me endlessly about it. :).
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I suspect many people find their was here for BS like I did, except for college. . (Also too late.) We had used information from the schools themselves, DS’ (totally amazing) CC at BS, books like Fiske, Naviance, and our personal network. But when he got deferred at his ED choice, I hit the internet looking for information on what that “really” meant at that school. And along with a few news articles, this site came up. As it happened, my first post was to the BS forum about how to handle deposits to day schools with pre M10 deadlines.
I am surprised that more people don’t end up here sooner and I’m also not. If you’re searching online, you’ll find CC. But lots of people do not participate in online forums – so I suspect there are many lurkers. I think people working with a decent advisor and/or in an environment where everyone applies to BS (this is most private MS) feel like they are getting better advice from people who know them than a bunch of strangers on the internet. (Many of you feel like friends to me now, but that’s not how it felt when I first posted!) And when you’re doing this outside that world, it can be hard to know what you don’t know. Many people realize that on M10, either because the reality of making a big decision in a month forces them to look for additional information or because they had the unthinkable happen and realize they are not alone.
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I found CC in December of our application year, simply by googling the names of schools on my son’s list. We came from a private K-8 school that sends many kids to BS, so we had an appropriate list for my son. Reading the threads did not change our list at all, but it did confirm the hesitancy I had over applying for financial aid.
We had a secondary school counselor helping us with the process, and we felt good about our school list and options. However, we were advised that everyone should go ahead and apply for FA, because it was worth seeing what we could get. I expressed concern over this and explained that our financial situation would very clearly demonstrate full pay status. While she acknowledged that full pay had an advantage over financial aid applicants, she made it sound like applying despite our resources would not have a significant negative impact.
I was not convinced. I decided to spend the time to fill out the PFS and send it to one school only so I could see the EFC. As I suspected, need based aid would be off the table. I started reading threads here about FA, including @ChoatieMom ’s journey with FA and application status. I searched back and found other stories here that were similar. After speaking with some parents here via PM, I decided to pull our FA app and notify all schools that we would be FP.
When M10 arrived I knew we had made the right choice. As someone mentioned in another thread a few weeks ago, it is my belief that a family who applies for FA who very clearly can afford full tuition, will not be viewed in a positive light in the admissions office. I watched that very scenario play out with friends who applied for FA when they did not qualify, and M10 did not play out well. They were WLed at every school despite those schools being good matches for the kids. Some got off WL’s post A10 after agreeing to go FP. I am grateful for the wisdom I gained here on CC. Added bonus that I also found a few fellow Mercersburg parents on here in the past 3 years, and that list grew significantly this year!
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Amen! LURKING =/= INTERACTING
This is something you realize only by registering and starting to post.
My mistake was I could get the same benefit of information and tips just by perusing the posts, without registering, without giving out the specifics of my particular case. Every case is different, and in this personal process, “general” information often amounts to disinformation, actually doing more harm than good.
FA was my problem as well. In my case, it was uncertainty on award outcome, amount and timing.
I had applied in the fall for one international scholarship whose result and award amount would be directly affected by my SAT score. Depending on my performance and my age (even months) at the time of taking it, I might not need to request schools for FA at all, since it would be given annually on top of 60~70% of the full amount dad told me he was capable. Other questions were timing and amount - the result would be announced sometime after my boarding application, with room for one more adjustment conditioned on new score.
But the question was still there: what to check on the FA box. To be or not to be… I mean to ask for it and face higher risk for asking, or not to ask - only to find out later I cannot go, after all, by being 30% short per year. It felt Catch-22.
I visited the websites of schools but most of them invited applicants to apply for it, when in doubt. Most had examples of aid amounts. So they seemed not caring too much at least about asking.
I searched this forum… lurking. I found a few posts that I might face uphill if I had applied for FA, but I also found countering posts. So it ended wash.
Before submiting Part 1 in December, dad suggested that he would check FA and explain our pending situation to the schools, and I said “Sure, dad, thank you.” But I found in my school nobody else was applying for FA (I go to an International private school in Korea) and wondered how this difference might affect the outcome, if at all. But coming home, I could not tell dad to check “full pay” now, just because of what everyone else was doing in my school. He was already making quite a sacrifice to send me and my brother to private schools.
On M10, I found out almost everyone from my school was admitted to at least one great US boarding school. No surprise there. Mine is a hyper-competitive, fully grinding, 12 year school system (as attested by 4 Stanford, 2 Harvard, 2 MIT, 2 Columbia acceptances for this year so far, which they advertise on a banner hanging on their website) and the 8th graders who applied are top applicants, far more qualified than me. Yet in school I felt blushing on my face from being too self-conscious, as if I became the talk of my classmates for the next couple of days. So I tried my best hiding and overacting, but I guess I am bad at faking facial expressions, as one teacher asked in class “Why is [me] looking gloomy today?” A well-meaning classmate blurted out the truth to the whole class “Becauae he applied 12 and got in none!” and that was the only moment I had to run to the bathroom. I felt so much better afterwards.
Though I do not attribute any part of my results to my dad’s requesting for FA, I tried some self-help to improve my candidacy - past M10. My March SAT result won me a few distinctions and got me into a competitive summer program but most importantly liberated me from financial burden: the scholarship committee adjusted award amount after review, helping me become a full pay. My grandma, who has not been speaking to my dad for like 5 years, told me she may fill in after my award. As with bad things, good things happen in batches.
This was when I decided to stop lurking and seek help. I needed specific advice now - what should I tell the schools that waitlisted me, if at all? Perusing was ineffective, as I had specific changes to circumstances. I first asked about sending my score.
Immediately after registering, I noticed one biggest functional difference: private messages. I started receiving tips, supports, ideas, advice and so much encouragement. I now could make friends and mentors in the forum! A few parents had reservoirs of experience, knowledge and wisdom gained from sending multiple DS/DD to great schools. All I had to do was asking to share some of their precious insights. This must be America at its most generous, I thought. One super-knowledgeable parent spent the time and trouble even to go over some “big picture”, and he does not even know me! (And he has not sent me a bill yet:) I realized how easy it was to fall in the myopic trap, regarding my view as one and only, and how important it was to seek out for new perspective.
But I was no longer sitting on my complacency and hubris. M10 changed at least that part of me. I immediately applied to one of the amazing schools suggested by him, and, just like @lilyesh, I now have a place to go!
I will also be carrying there this fall a big set of wisdom I gained from lurking and interacting in this forum:
- Seek help, for I don’t know as much as I think I do.
- Give help, for I do know more than I think I do.
- Always reach out - whether to get help or to help - for they can’t see you when you are just hiding.
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this is one of the best posts i’ve seen on cc
Wow! Awesome post. You may have mentioned this elsewhere, but what are your plans for next year?
The CC community at its finest. 
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Thanks! I have almost made up my mind to head to Brentwood College School in Canada. But two more schools suddenly appeared on the horizon and my parents want me to consider them as well: St. George’s School in Canada (Vancouver, BC) and Davidson Academy in Reno. St. George’s sent me an acceptance after a very long interview with me and my parents a few days ago.
As for Davidson, my parents talked with a few parents of Korean graduates there yesterday, who all lauded the devoted teachers and the flexible curriculum there and recommended me to apply there even now. My parents told me this school may be easier for me to get in than a lot of boarding schools because I meet their score criteria on all three counts (math, verbal, total) when they require only one to meet. I don’t know. I still have to pass their full-day assessment which they may or may not schedule for me. This looks intriguing since I am very interested in Telluride etc. Since I am taking their THINK history course this summer anyway, I will find if it is my cup!
Brentwood gave me one month to decide. St. George’s gave me 10 days. So I would decide pretty soon, I would guess!
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That’s great to hear! They would all be lucky to have you!
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This is an amazing post. There is an exceeding amount of wisdom in it and I think there is always more to learn on CC. You deserved to get into all of the schools you applied too, as they’d all be lucky to have you. I’m sorry for your experience at school, but it reminds one how belligerent the school environment can be, even when the offender is well-meaning. So happy that you were able to use CC in an advantageous way and find your way into a such an amazing school.
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@Dreamer2007 I would love to hear an update on your plans and how you’re doing 
You’re such an inspiration and will leave an impact on future applicants.
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