Not all of Wisconsin. We moved there in 1966 from a system that had a 12/31 cutoffand my brother with a 12/6 birthday was the youngest in his class by at least 5 month and usually about 18 months younger. The cut off for this district was the first day of school (and had been since the 1950s), usually about Aug 25. My next two brothers were 8/24 and 8/15 and both were the youngest in their classes. About half the boys repeated 3rd grade (nuns didn’t think they were mature enough for 4th grade), so when we got to high school many of the juniors were 17-18.
I had a classmate in 9th grade who had his driver’s license. His birthday was in Sept, so he’d turned 6 just after K started, and then repeated 3rd grade, so turned 16 a few weeks into 9th grade. Our junior high was 7th, 8th, and 9th grades. There wasn’t a student parking lot!
FWIW, after reading some comments here (not tagging because it was multiple)… as a parent who did red shirt on child, it had nothing to do with her intelligence or academic ability. That’s what most teachers who red shirt their own kids understand.
My older d was not red shirted because she “missed” the cut off by 6 days. I’m thankful for that every day because I don’t know that I would have considered red shirting her. In much the same way so many on CC are caught up with prestige when choosing colleges, many parents find some sort of validation in starting overly young kids in kindergarten. Waiting is not a reflection of their intelligence. It’s a reflection of their readiness and social- emotional skills. My older d is not at the top of the popular crowd and using drugs, etc, lol. She and her friends are high stat kids who were identified at gifted in elementary school.
My younger d with a very late November birthday in a disctrict with a Dec 1 cut off, who was reading in preschool, was not socially emotionally ready for school. She has always been an introvert, she had trouble with separation, and I still stand by my decision that it would have been harmful for her to push her into something she wasn’t ready for. She’s a middle schooler now who, like her sister, is not part of “the popular”, isn’t boy crazy, doesn’t use drugs or alcohol and was also part of the gifted classes in elementary and middle school and so far has high stats (ie, her being red shirted had nothing to do with her intelligence).
This is a hot button topic for me, not only because of my own decisions but because of ones I saw parents make when I was a preschool teacher. I literally had parents agree with me that their children weren’t socially-emotionally ready for kindergarten but they would be going anyway because otherwise, “our family will comment and think it’s because she isn’t smart enough”.
Not exactly sure what the original poster was looking for but to add to the conversation, In our town in PA, the date is five by Sept 1 for kindergarten, six by sept 1st for first grade. Our fall BD child was denied early entry, despite multiple years of pre school. Later on in elementary school the school agreed that the situation had to be remediated and that student was too mature for the grade. After testing, extra classes and accommodations had to be made-- again, suggested by the school. So what they said at age 4 “I have never seen a student that did not benefit from being 6 in kindergarten” turned out not to be true. And the “gift of time” was not as well received as we all had hoped – just one more year of paying for preschool. I say this, because like many of the other posters, it’s important to know that strict cutoff dates just don’t work for everyone.
@mom2twogirls I don’t disagree that some kids are not ready and it is best to wait but unfortunately in certain communities there is some odd competition to hold them back so in the future they will be stronger, smarter or whatever and that rubs me the wrong way. I mean people said to me that my younger child would hold their 3 year old class BACK – what does that even MEAN??
It would depend on the type of preschool, to know what it means. A 2 1/2 year old is less likely to sit still for story time, less likely to walk in line, is more impulsive, and has less developed motor skills. In a preschool that is really just extended play and crafts, it probably won’t hold anyone back. In a more structured preschool that mimics more traditional school activities, it can be very disruptive.
I actually discussed the “go or wait” thing with my kids’ preschool teachers. I don’t know what i’d have done if we had disagreed but we didn’t, they both said “go”.
I’d argue that all preschools for 2.5-3 year olds should be “really just extended play and crafts”. That alone plus the socialization is learning enough. There is a lot tots can learn through such activities.
My oldest daughter’s 4yo preschool teacher said I should hold her back (August birthday; September 30th cutoff) because she was very introverted and preferred to play with only one other child at a time. I smiled and nodded and sent her to K because time wasn’t going to change her to an extrovert. She did just fine in Kindergarten playing with one other child at a time. She’s doing just fine in college, even though she was only 17 when it started.
On the other hand, we decided to re-adjust my youngest. We were living where there was a December 31st cutoff and she did just fine - probably because there were several kids with fall birthdays. Summer between 3rd and 4th grade we moved back to where the cutoff was September 30th. There’s a bit more to the story, but I ended up homeschooling her for a few years and when we put her back into public school, we put her down a grade to better align with the cutoff. She seems to fit some of the stereotypes you hear about “redshirted” kids - she’s doing well academically, she’s a good athlete, and she’s become a leader of sorts (in athletics). But she also matured earlier, gravitated towards some of those more “mature” kids as friends and we aren’t thrilled with some of the drama in her life - things we didn’t see with my other two who were less mature and gravitated towards the same for friends. I’m sure some of it is her personality, but I do find myself sometimes wondering if the grade adjustment was the right thing to do.
Years ago, when we were relocating for a job, we looked at a house in a district in CT or NY (can’t remember after all these years) that had a June 1 cut-off. We have a child with a June birthday, but did not want her to start so late, so we avoided looking at any more houses in that district. I’d never heard of such an early cut-off.
We ended up back in MA, where most schools have a more reasonable Sept 1 cut-off.
We originally lived in a state with a December 31 cutoff. My D made that cutoff, but we moved to a state with a August 31 cutoff when she was in 2nd grade, which she doesn’t make. She was the second youngest kid in her grade. The youngest also moved into the district from a state with a December cut-off. No adjustment issues. She was more mature than most and academically ahead of most. She did however get her permit and license a grade later than most.
@itsgettingreal17 Same with my youngest - she JUST got her license (a senior) a couple weeks ago. My step daughter who went to elementary in VA is Sept 3 (among the oldest when she started) and she was 18 when she started her senior year and had a license her whole junior and senior year - my daughter won’t even turn 18 until after she leaves for college next year.
My two oldest kids, late July and late October birthdays, started school in NYC, which has a 12/31 cutoff. I can’t tell you how many people told me to hold my son (July) back for a year. Although he was socially immature (a little Aspie), he was already reading and doing times tables, plus it would have put him in the same grade as my D, who is one year younger, so I refused.
When we moved to the suburbs, the cutoff was 12/1. My younger kids are September, June and March birthdays so we never really faced the issue except that the September son was very speech impaired so his teacher initially suggested having him repeat K. Instead, I demanded that the district provide speech therapy three times weekly and I worked with him as well. By the end of K, he was doing 5th grade math, although he didn’t really read well until third grade. I didn’t hold him back.
In my district, many people hold their sons back. My June son has a friend one month younger who graduated a year after him. My March son has a kid in his grade who turned 19 the day after HS graduation in late June. My September son was one of the youngest boys in his grade, even though there was a full 3 months left before the cutoff. My friend’s son is 2 weeks older than my September son and was a year behind in school. It’s crazy how the kids run the age gamut.
I skipped a grade and was always one of the youngest. It upset me so strangely that my March son was actually 18 when he graduated. The three oldest kids were all still 17 and June son was 18, but only just. I actually tried to convince my March son to graduate a semester early but he refused to miss his last plays.
@doschicos some 3 year olds do better with more structured activities. They like story time, “jobs”, class songs, arts and crafts that include following directions rather than scribbling, etc. They tend to do better with a lesser amount of free play and having it later in their school “day”. That’s why it’s great to have a variety of types of preschools, to fit the variety in types of preschoolers.
We’re probably on the same page to an extent. I don’t consider things like story time, class songs, and such as really structured. I think that is a common preschool set-up for a certain part of the day. Three year olds and younger are perfectly able to follow directions and it doesn’t take them long, unless there are learning delays to know the routines of the teacher/room in which they are in. They all have them at that age. Play and crafts does not equal scribbling and chaos.
“CT has a notoriously late cut off (12/31)” Then how very absurd it was that the CT private school had parents who were holding back their boys if born after MARCH!
When my kids were little, California had a 12/1 cut-off. I held back my late November D, and it was the best thing for her. About 8 years ago, the state changed the cut-off to 9/1. The teachers were complaining that the 4 year olds were not mature enough to handle the full day of kindergarten. The state grandfathered this in over a couple of years, and also offered a public Transitional Kindergarten for the Fall birthdays. I was very young for my grade, and was barely 17 when I started college. Now that my D is a freshman in college, it is so nice that she is 18 and can sign documents, since she is 3000 miles away.
re post # 42. Our district was flexible- they recognized some kids are academically ahead and also belong in school earlier. It was their idea that our son go with the first graders which delighted son (I hadn’t realized how so-so he had been until asked about moving and he grinned for the first time in ages). Other state for inlaws was inflexible despite preschool teacher recommendations. The gifted are different. Asynchronous development- can’t get a perfect fit. Will be out of synch one way or another.
In all schools there will potentially be a 12 month age difference between the oldest and youngest regardless of when the cutoff is set. Being oldest does not necessarily confer any advantage. Sometimes having parents who hold back instead of surging forward are sending a message to the child to be more cautious (as do parents who push their children give a message). Some need to go earlier, others later. But the system can’t practically handle all the possible variability. Some parents would delay school far too long and others push a kid who wasn’t ready. But- I did not see how the teacher could determine whether her unborn child needed to be held back. I suspect second grade teachers love the relative maturity of the kids who are a bit older- it is easier for them to deal with older behaviors.
Colleges do not care about your age. Son did his own applications et al- the only documents we needed to sign were for housing as I recall. Distance not an issue. And- son at 16 was not the youngest in his honors physics course his first semester- there was a 14 year old girl from a local HS doing Youth Options.
Personalities vary among people, regardless of age. Introverts/extroverts- so many tales to relate. Strong willed and independent another factor. I followed with the camcorder (we’re all old enough to remember the days before cell phones did it all) when he marched alone by his firm choice to the kindergarten entrance- where one girl was in tears. She got over it. Sometimes being exposed to the school world helps with maturity. A lot changes in childhood every month- even to those HS seniors you swear will not be ready for college.
