<p>I'm the parent of a freshman who just moved into her dorm a week ago. Turns out that most of the students on her floor in the dorm go home every weekend (including her roommate). In fact, her roommate went back home for 2 days after moving into the dorm last weekend. My daughter told me that she does not plan to come home every weekend. I'm not sure how often she plans to visit us even though we are just 30 minutes away. She is very shy and I'm hoping that she will be able to find some friends to hang out with on the weekends on campus.</p>
<p>I am very curious why students choose to go home every weekend? Is it homesickness, a job at home, to be with friends at home, or because everyone else goes home for the weekend? Are there any students who went home every weekend that now regret that decision?</p>
<p>I think that’s mostly a freshman thing. It’s really hard for us, too, when we move away for the first time. I would say most freshmen go home close to every weekend for the first few months of the year. Then, they make friends and don’t want to go home on the weekend.</p>
<p>Ummm… why not? It isn’t hurting anything is it? Heck last semester i went home almost every weekend (due to being very sick but thats another story). I don’t regret it.</p>
<p>I don’t live anywhere near home, so I can’t. But I would if I could. Dorm living has its pros and cons, a little break on the weekend wouldn’t be bad.</p>
<p>This has nothing to do with independence, living in a dorm is not remotely independent.</p>
<p>Geez. Its understandable of course since you said she lives 30 minutes away. Its not like my school where i’m 4 hours away. Though personally, I wouldn’t go home every weekend unless I had a job near my parents house. It sounds like its probably homesickness. When you live 30 minutes away, I imagine its hard not to go home.</p>
<p>I also wonder if some parents actually encourage their child to come home for the weekends. Even though I miss my daughter terribly, I know that she needs to find “her place” on campus and make friends there. I am so proud of her for wanting to remain on campus on the weekends even though she is very introverted. A friend admitted to me this week that she called up her sophomore daughter and asked her to come home this weekend (which she ended up doing).</p>
<p>I just missed out on so much. I didn’t really have a close of friends as I did when I was actually able to stay on the weekends. I didn’t get to unwind on the weekends because I was commuting back and forth, which actually takes a lot out of you. Plus the gas was expensive. I didn’t do homework at home, which made it more difficult throughout the week. Plus it was just too much time with my parents. I was caught between two worlds- an independent adult and a post high school kid.</p>
<p>It’s actually kind of hard to really put into words.</p>
<p>If I went home every weekend (which I can’t, too far) I would barely consider myself as “in college.” I know that’s not really true, but leaving every weekend with your bag of laundry, come on.</p>
<p>That being said if I could pop home easily I probably would more than I do now (fall break, thanksgiving, xmas, spring). Not out of homesickness, but just to relax. It would have to be during an away game though haha. It also wouldn’t be every week.</p>
<p>Not sure why a student would come home every weekend, but I would think it would have to do a little with homesickness/shyness. I would expect them to eventually not come home as much though.</p>
<p>Romanigypsyeyes – I appreciate your personal insight. What you wrote makes sense to me. Perhaps many kids are trying to postpone leaving the “nest” by continuing to go home on the weekends. I agree that you probably miss out on quite a lot when you are not there every weekend.</p>
<p>When I attended our local state university in the mid 1970’s (I know, I’m OLD), I rarely went home to visit even though it was only about a half hour away. I don’t recall anyone going home for the weekends. I think it has become more commonplace now.</p>
<p>I went home quite often when I went to school 50 minutes away. Now i’m a sophomore at a school 4 hours away, so i’m not going home. I think this time around I have plenty to keep me busy however. This afternoon has been the first time in a week i haven’t had to do anything, and while i miss home a bit, i am already thinking about what i have going on tonight and the next few days.</p>
<p>I think some schools also have more people going home than others. At my school, almost no one ever goes home, even when we were freshmen. However, everyone I know likes to party, so we all would look forward to the weekends where we could all go out together. I think I may have gone home once for like a day, which was relaxing, but I really felt like I was missing out.</p>
<p>However, in my hometown there was a university that many of the students at my high school went to - it was in the same town, had an okay reputation in the area, and was cheap for instate residents, so a LOT of people went there. And since it was so close, I think a lot of people went home on weekends or even commuted. Most friend groups stayed the same. But I think it just has a lot to do with the culture of the school.</p>
<p>RoxSox – I agree with you that the culture of the school probably has something to do with it. The college my daughter is attending has sometimes been referred to as a “suitcase school.” I think the majority of students live within 2 hours of the college, so going home is easy if they want to. Perhaps this school attracts students who feel they are not ready to go far away to college. It also does NOT have a party reputation, which is fine with my daughter but may disappoint some of the students who are looking for nightlife, parties, drinking, etc.</p>
<p>Still, I didn’t realize that the majority of students on her dorm floor would leave every weekend.</p>
<p>It gets old living in a closet-sized room that you share with someone else. I liked going home just so I could have privacy, sleep in a real bed, and because being at home would just be more peaceful and quiet. Since I don’t live too far from home sometimes I go home just for events and festivals happening around town, to see family and friends, or just for a change in scenery. I think the dorms themselves were a big part of why so many people went home. I noticed students who lived in some of the nicer/newer dorms stayed during the weekends a lot more than those who lived in the older, more horrible, dorms.</p>
<p>October47 – You mentioned that you noticed that the students in the newer dorms tended to stay on campus and not go home on the weekends. That’s interesting. I never thought of that.</p>
<p>My daughter lives in the newest dorm on campus (built 11 years ago). It is very, very nice (in my opinion). So I don’t think the age or condition of the dorm is the reason why almost all the students on her dorm floor are going home. But that certainly may be the case at some colleges.</p>
<p>I think it’s mostly homesickness and maybe simply wanting to spend time with family. A lot of people seem to have OK relationships with their families where they can’t really stand spending tons of time with them, while others don’t mind. I got that reaction a lot when I told people I commuted - “Man, I could never stand living with my parents.” I could, and did… they respected the fact that I was in college and not high school. But to each their own. Now I’m off-campus and so far I like it, but I’m still gonna probably see my family once or even twice a month just because I like catching up with them.</p>
<p>If I lived 30 minutes from home I’d be going there every day. You can have 60 years of living on your own…might as well take advantage of the remaining chances to have free food and a nice bed.</p>
<p>When I was interning over the summer, the company provided housing (rented houses). My roommate still went home every weekend because he was 2 hours away. I stayed because I was 4 hours away…but it was nice having a whole space to myself on the weekends.</p>
<p>I’m in second year now, but last year I went home every weekend - and sometimes during the week- mostly because of the anxiety of being away from my family. This year I’ll go home every Friday night and return Sunday morning, but that’s because I have to work Friday nights and all of Saturdays. If it weren’t for my job I don’t think I’d be returning home every weekend.</p>
<p>At USC, I’ve learned that everything on campus shuts down during the weekends. At the hot line, they only have breakfast available at lunch on Saturdays and Sundays. All of the restaurants are closed. Places that would usually stay open really late close really early.</p>
<p>There’s 30,000 people who go to USC, but there are only 6000 students who live on campus. A lot of those students live only 20-30 minutes away and just go home on the weekends.</p>
<p>There isn’t anything wrong with it. I have friends who go home on the weekends and I have friends who can’t. One of my friends doesn’t even get to go home until Christmas.</p>
<p>It’s also nice to get away from close quarters for a little while.</p>