Why do you homeschool?

Pre-College Issues Home Schooling and College
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<p>To a degree, many with chronic illness end up "homeschooling" themselves, even when they're enrolled in a formal "regular school" because health-related issues cause frequent and prolonged absences. Both my kids were officially enrolled in HS but ended up missing 1/4-1/2 of every school year, so I consider them to have been largely "homeschooled." </p>

<p>They are both very independent learners and learn what they need largely on their own because health issues prevented them from being in class and with their peers for so much of their HS careers. Both are thriving in college and find the more adaptable and flexible scheduling works well with their independent learning.</p>

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<p>One other thought. For other reasons, I was looking at a biography of my undergraduate thesis advisor, who was a brilliant and eminent American academic.</p>

<p>I cut and pasted just this bit:</p>

<p>His parents, who were schoolteachers, "soon found that they had produced a remarkable child and chose to educate him at home in New Bedford, Massachusetts, until college. His parents gave him a sturdy education; they did not directly answer specific questions, but tried with hints and suggestions to help him find answers for himself. This experience may have led to his own habit of not responding to direct questions with what inquirers regarded as “answers.”</p>

<p>When he went to college, he attended Brown University and studied chemistry. After three years Brown University awarded him a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree in chemistry."</p>

<p>He was an independent thinker who made deep contributions in many fields, created concepts out of whole cloth, and also coined a number of words including bit and software.</p>

<p>Anyway, another person for whom homeschooling was likely a wise choice.</p>

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<p>I hate regular school it is so filled with drama and I can't really concentrate on my school work which leads me to bad grades and other stuff which isn't good so by my 9th grade year (I'm in 10th by the way) I decided I wanted to be in home schooled and you know what I think I made the best choice I have learned more through the packets they have gaven me then any dumb hs teacher can teach you it is so stressless and lets me have enough time to work and be with my family! And if I could have started younger I would have but I didn't really know about home school till like 7th grade but since I was just starting junior high school I wanted to experience it and meet new people but I hated it and I wish I started home school at that age but I didn't think I could do it by home school! </p>

<p>So for me it was better but some people think home school is worse I don't know depends on the person I guess</p>

<p>Oh and I also did it not just to get away from all the drama and stuff but I have a bladder/kidney problem that I got at the age of 6 and so what it makes me do is have to go to the bathroom every like 5 minutes so that is bad and if I hold it I pee in my pants because my tissue isn't strong enough to hold it so teachers get all mad at me and it just is embarrasing for me so I decided that the best thing would be for me to do is get home schooled!</p>

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<p>Our son will start homeschooling next year, 9th grade. He trains in a sport that causes him to miss school. This was so challenging this year(tears all around too many times to count as teachers seemed to want to punish him for missing school to train or compete) that we as a family felt we had to decide between allowing him to continue competing and follow his dream of NCAA athletics or even the Olympics or traditional HS experience.</p>

<p>He will not get this chance again and he wants to shoot for the stars. Traditional HS just won't allow that. Fortunately he has numerous close friends outside of school that he will continue to see regardless of where or how he is schooled. Eventually we hope to move to a part of the country where the public school actually works around his sport because so many students in the community compete in it. He would then finish up HS in a more traditional school.</p>

<p>We have a senior in HS this year and I am actually excited for next year and no more dealing with the frustrations that come from having to work with a rigid school system (not necessarily their fault but sometimes you would think they could at least TRY to work with the parents/student). I am sure if he were to become a famous athlete (not saying he will but he wants to try) I am sure the local school district will claim him as a native son - LOL :)</p>

<p>Funny, our D is the only one who strongly objects to our homeschooling S. However, she had a very stereotypical all-american HS experience and thinks her brother (who is TOTALLY different than her) will miss all that (Homecoming Court, student council, Friday night football games, etc...). I keep reminding her that what is important to her is not to him and visa/versa, plus, he CAN still go to Friday night games to watch his friends play, he can ask local girls to THEIR homecoming dance, etc... maybe she is just jealous (LOL).</p>

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<p>For all the world knew, my daughter home schooled because she couldn't otherwise dance several hours six days a week to work on her gift. She, and her parents, knew it was because of the freedom.
How many hours, days and weeks of mind control does it take to qualify for the prom? Too many hours to waste, IMO.
I admire your courage to allow your child to embark on a different path. I have a feeling it will work out well, in the end. At the least, you are showing your love.</p>

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<p>^ How many problem sets in math must a student do before they are allowed to show their proficiency in a math concept? Or, if a day isn't going well and a student needs to shift focus to learn where else can this be done?</p>

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<p>I admit I've only read the first page of this thread, but I felt an extreme sense of urgency to respond. Not because the general thoughts that have been expressed are shocking, I'm aware that the average person views homeschoolers as somewhat strange and abnormal. I just wasnt expecting to see a page full of such views. </p>

<p>I am in high school, I have been homeschooled for years, I find my life to be immensely enjoyable. I am a member of my local high school's Thespian Troupe. I've gotten leads in musicals, tagged along on field trips and sit in on drama classes some days when I'm bored. I also play on the Lacrosse team at my school during the Spring. I have several groups of friends who I am close with. Some are in high school, some are dual enrolled, some are Music or even Pre-Med students at the University of Florida where I take classes part time. I feel because I'm homeschooled I have many many more oppertunities to not only learn academically on my own terms, but learn about myself as a person. I think of myself as far more secure in my own skin than most public school students. In fact, I have never felt happier than when I left the school system. </p>

<p>It's upsetting to me sometimes that people like myself are seen as "wierdos" and whatnot without even being given a chance. Some people hear I'm homeschooled and assume I'm sheltered, super religious, handicapped in some way, or socially awkward. I'm none of these things. Not to mention out of all other homeschooled people I've met in my life, the majority hit a wierd stage but end up growing in very interesting and deep people. Also for all those wierdos you know homeschooled could it possibly just be an effect of them being raised in a certain kind of household and not just simply because theyre homeschooled? Could it possibly be that these children dont have social skills because they're shy and thier parents are giving them time? I've met just as many public school children with no social skills as I have homeschooled children. Often these children are pushed into things like drugs or alchohol because of the pressures to be normal. </p>

<p>This was a very long rant, but I felt it was important for people to understand that there are at least some of us who are genuinely greatful that we've been given such an oppertunity. I dont think I'm disadvantaged because I dont have quite the same social life or maybe I have to jump through more hoops. In fact alot of the obstacles I've faced as a homeschooler have benefitted me in the long run.</p>

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<p>I do not recommend homeschooling. I have such interesting and fascinating high school teachers (excluding the bad ones), and I have learned many interesting things from them that otherwise I never could learn. I think that a GOOD teacher, in a classroom, can teach you more in 5 minutes then a textbook will in the same time because a teacher will inspire you to remember the information...a textbook is just a bunch of words. But a good teacher, especially for history and science classes, will make the field interesting with side notes and stories and make you WANT to learn.</p>

<p>The things that my teachers have taught me is invaluable, if I personally were home schooled, I would not have learned half the stuff I have learned up to this point.</p>

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<p>But, Nightsd, who said learning from people has to only happen in an institutional classroom? I'm thinking of the librarian of our local library. She started a homeschool history club as a part of our state Junior History Clubs. Through her inspiration and the encouragement of the parents, our club has grown to nearly 100 children, produced 14 award-winning films, a novel, numerous literary projects, widely recognized genealogical research, many historical preservation projects, dozens of museum-quality artifacts found, and many, many award-winning architectural photographs.</p>

<p>See, you don't have to be assigned to sit in a classroom to learn something. Lots of people think homeschooling is sitting home alone at the kitchen table trying to learn something from a textbook by yourself. Wrong.</p>

<p>Homeschooling is freedom to learn! When my dh had a 2 week business trip to Boston, we took two weeks of field trips. We went to Lowell to study industrialization, Bedford to study whaling, Cape Cod to study wildlife,
Plymouth to study the pilgrims, Boston to do the Patriot's Trail, Faniel Hall, and so much more, and even took time out to read Make Way for Ducklings to our little children (we have a big family) in Boston Commons and then ride the swan boats. That's just two weeks in April -- no way they could do that in any institutional school.</p>

<p>Our county has over 700 homeschool families and the largest town in our county is about 15,000 people. We gather together for field trips, yearbook, clubs, science co-ops, football and volleyball, band and chorus and more. </p>

<p>I appreciate your thankfulness for your teachers, Nightsd, but I think you have too narrow a view of homeschooling.</p>

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<p>Nightsd-
Interesting perspective but I agree with huguenot. Textbooks are the curriculum, in homeschooling you are still taught by a person or persons.
And I urge you to consider that just as there are wide differences in schools and teachers, there are wide differences in students and how they learn. My S has been moving through traditional school right behind his sister who is the type of traditional student learner that you describe and who has had a very successful school career. S has had the same teachers, the same curriculum, the same school building. It is just not a match for him and he is learning very little mostly because he has to wait for other students to "get it", the teachers have NO FLEXIBILTY to adjust to accomadate him aside from piling on extra busy work to keep him busy while they teach the other students who cannot move as fast. It is no one's fault, but that situation is not condusive to his learning. Additionally, H & I travel and conduct business in a variety of locations that S has an interest in. When he was in traditional school he had to stay home with a sitter, now he will travel with us and see first hand and learn about the things that interest him.</p>

<p>There is a really good book called "Why Gender Matters" by Leonard Sax. It discusses the science of how boys and girls learn. There is no room in most school districts for dealing with some of those things that are necessary, for boys especially, to learn. Home schooling allows for that and other things.</p>

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<p>I agree. I don't think it is the actual gender which changes the way a person learns though, I think it is the character and personality of a person. If you're more prone to get home and play video games (boy) instead of get home and get on the computer for a bit then do homework (girl) then you will probably not do as well in a structured environment like school.</p>

<p>I think if a kid can get into an AP class though, most teachers will provide heavy individual attention. That is the case in my school anyways.</p>

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<p>I was home schooled from 1st grade until I graduated from HS. Overall, my views about home schooling are extremely varied. I do agree that not going to HS does restrict the "normal" HS experience of such things as student government or prom, something I do partially regret never being able to experience. At the same time, home schooling gave me the ability to become involved in other activities that a traditional student would not have been allowed to, such as starting my own business. </p>

<p>I think that if one is going to be home schooled, it is very important to be involved in many activities. There is more to life than simply having "self- discipline." It that discipline is never applied to anything beyond studying in a room, it is not going to help later on. To those who do decide home schooling, just make sure that you take some courses that are accredited!! If not, attending college will be an issue.</p>

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<p>You're not quite correct, Precious10. I took no accredited classes (except for a couple of junior college courses that I didn't even report as "accredited") and I had no trouble at all. I've been homeschooled since the second grade, loved it, found my own creative and intellectual feet, been active in my community, worked part-time, collaborated with fellow homeschoolers at my ISP (unaccredited homeschool co-op), played club sports, and attended dances with my traditionally-schooled friends. It seems to be enough to carve out your own niche, and take responsibility for your own life and education. Add in decent SAT or ACT scores and attending college generally shouldn't be a problem. In fact, both sons of the woman who basically founded the unschooling movement attended Harvard. One of the most beautiful discoveries of my homeschool career was learning that we don't have to conform to be accepted into the academic community. There will always be the nay-sayers, the haters, and the doubters, but we don't have to listen to them. After all, who is the American public school system to be mandating what does and does not dictate a quality education? If it was so splendid, we wouldn't be hearing everyday about how much it needs to be dragged up out of the mud. (Not to put down public schooling, as such. I happen to believe that a motivated student can carve out a great education in almost any environment. I just preferred to have mine on my own terms. ;) )</p>

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<p>That was posted over a year ago and I haven't read the many other posts yet, nor am I a homeschooled person, but I can share the experiences of my son who was homeschooled as they might be helpful if the above poster is still reading here, or perhaps to some others. I will compare and contrast my life up to his current age (16) with his life.</p>

<p>Friends:</p>

<p>Me: They were all walking distance from my house, and thus I was limited to friends from similar backgrounds (racially and SES); all were also similar in being public-schooled. There was different religions represented, so I did at least get to attend services of various kinds with friends. I never had a friend in my neighborhood who had parents divorce until I was <em>21</em> (my neighborhood was like something out of a Stepford film).</p>

<p>Son: They were from within about a 15-minute drive, and spanned kids who were homeschooled, private-schooled, and public-schooled. They were from families who were of various religions (along with no religion), bi-racial families as well as families that were all the same race, married parents as well as divorced parents (and he's also familiar with kids who have parents of the same sex, were children of the test tube process, etc.), families with parents who were both highly educated (one of his friends has a father who is a psychiatrist and a mother who is an OB/GYN) as well as families with parents who had an education with high school being as far as they went.</p>

<p>Teachers:</p>

<p>Me: I had one for each grade for K to 4, then four in 5th and 6th, and I think 7 teachers in 7th grade and another 6 in 8th grade (as the French teacher was the same as in 7th grade), so by age 13, I had experienced 26 teachers plus a piano teacher for a few weeks for a total of 27 teachers.</p>

<p>Our son: Had himself as his primary teacher (for material from K through college and it could be argued also college through graduate school), his parents as teachers for what we felt he could use assistance with, teachers at the CC for things like Italian, the stock market, CAD programming, business, etc. at ages 7 and 8, Spanish (taught at our local elementary school and with mostly students from that school, but an after-school program) at age 5, German through the county parks and rec dept. at age 9 (a class for ages 18+, but an exception was made for our son as he had a business trip upcoming in Germany and had already been accepted to a 4-year university, so was on an adult level in many ways already), a physics program at the 4-year university for high school students (but open to all) from ages 5 to 7, three piano teachers (he never dug doing practice exercises, so he only had a few lessons at ages 3, 6, and 9 before we ditched formal education in this area; he at 16 is still giving public performances while in graduate school where many classically trained musicians have often given up performing by age 16 and/or graduate school), a tennis teacher, a tap dance teacher, a Celtic dance teacher, a handchime/handchoir teacher/director, and I think over 50 college teachers/professors in classes for credit by age 13 (he had around 170 college credits when he graduated at age 13, but some he had for more than one class, so I am not sure of the exact number). Needless to say, his homeschooling didn't seem to hurt him on the exposure to various teachers area. And his teachers overall were of a higher level than they would have been had his gone the traditional education path.</p>

<p>Learning about life:</p>

<p>Me: Went to vacation in all of two states each summer and then a few other states not more than a drive away till I was 13 and went to Hawaii (oh, wait, I went on a Caribbean cruise at age 4 or 5, but don't remember much from it). Got to Canada at age 16 and Mexico for a few hours at age 20. Had my first paid job at age 16 (babysitting) and first job with a paycheck at age 18. Had my first internship of sorts at age 21. Wasn't allowed to even go on my own to get ice down the hall in a hotel till I was 13!</p>

<p>Son: Has visited over 30 countries and I think 38 states (including some I have yet to see as his business travel, which started at age 8, has taken him to places I've never been). Had his first check for a job (from the federal government yet) at age 8, his first internship at age 9 (not even in his home state), his first client for his own business at age 13, plus had his first income from his first business with customers who were not clients at age 12. Had paid work from home (and even on a cruise) as well as working in an office on his own as well as working as part of a team, with teams varying in size. Had his first overnight business trip out of state on his own (no parent along) at age 13 and his first business trip out of the country on his own at age 15.</p>

<p>I could go on and on here, but there is no doubt in my mind that our son got to have WAY more life experience along broad areas (not just in work and school, but also socially, as he was also far more active in EC's in college as well as before college and in graduate school than the average student) than I did or than the majority of students who are traditionally educated do (though I confess also more than most who are homeschooled do, but I do feel from what I've read and heard to date than homeschooled students have a broader experience base than traditionally schooled students <em>in general</em>; there will be exceptions of very sheltered homescholed students and very experienced traditionally educated students, of course).</p>

<p>My husband and his mom need the computer now to do some stuff, so I'll try to read the other posts on this thread another time, but in summation, my vote is still out on early college/early grad school (though all is going well overall so far there), but my vote is very clear on homeschooling being a <em>really</em> good thing for families where the members of the family get along well and are mentally healthy and are able to swing it (as I realize not all families can).</p>

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<p>It doesn't restrict such things for all people. Our son was a senator in his college SGA as a sophomore, junior, and senior (he first became one by being voted in by the SGA members as he thought to try to join mid-year, and then he was elected by the general campus population after that). He has also been an officer in his dorm government since he first started graduate school and has been nominated or been urged by others to take numerous positions in other organizations in graduate school. </p>

<p>As for formal dances, our son was 13 when a friend whom he knew since he was 6 and she was 10 (she lived in a house in back of our woods and the kids met on Halloween when he rang her doorbell and she invited him to join her party in progress and then continue to trick-or-treat with her group of friends) invited him to her senior prom at the neighborhood high school (our son's former CS advisor was at our house that night and said, "That is so wrong as she's either too old for him as it would be an 18-year-old with a 13-year-old or she's too young for him as he's completed a bachelor's program and she's not even finished high school yet, so I am not sure if she's too old or too young, but she's surely one or the other." And one could say she was both, who knows. Anyway, he at age 15 attended a formal dance with high school students (despite his being in graduate school at the time) and at age 16, took a 19-year-old MIT freshman to his Grad Gala (like the prom but for graduate students).</p>

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<p>And this is something many traditionally schooled students also do, but not in as large of a percentage as homeschoolers, I don't think. Our son didn't start his first business till he was in college (he was 12 for his first business and 13 when he started his second business), but he had his first paycheck as a consultant at 8 while homeschooling (just wasn't a job he seeked and he never opened an official business to accept the job).</p>

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<p>I agree, and will add that it is more important (I feel) to be self-disciplined in areas outside of studying than in studying (like working, turning down offers for booze as a minor, etc.).</p>

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<p>Our son didn't have any college credits before starting college at the U where he got his bachelor's degrees, but he also wasn't the typical homeschool applicant, so I am not sure how much of an issue it would be for homeschoolers in general to not have accredited courses on one's record when applying for college as a matriculated student.</p>

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<p>If you mean the Colfax family, they had four sons and three attended Harvard. I heard the parents speak years ago and recall the fourth son didn't want to follow in his brothers' footsteps, so went to another top tier school (Yale maybe? Am going blank here). This was decades ago, though, when homeschooling was far more unusual than today, so there was less competition in the "homeschool basket" of applications, so it might not be fair to use them for examples today (not sure).</p>

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<p>Re: Attending college an issue without accredited courses.
Nope.
I've had two go on to college so far without courses of any kind, at a school or even at home. No problem whatsoever.</p>

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<p>danas, where did your sons get into college? I'm curious because I am doing the same thing and getting ready to apply to college. I get intimidated when I seed other homeschoolers whom have taken 20 classes at the local college.</p>

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<p>My son went to Dartmouth and my daughter will be starting her second year at Princeton.
I think the most important things for them were to do interesting things and to have very strong standardized testing. I would say that with testing, quality is important, quantity isn't.</p>

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<p>I just want to add my two cents about homeschooling.</p>

<p>I go to public school and have been in the public school system all my life, but I do have 4 cousins, who I have always been very close with, who have been home-schooled their whole life so I do know quite a bit about home-schooling.</p>

<p>IMO, and this is only from what I've read from posters, not from experience, homeschooling seems to have a lot of advantages when done right, such as extra help, individual attention, and much less peer pressure. </p>

<p>However, using my cousins as an example, homeschooling can have a lot of disadvantages for the child and harm the child's education and social skills when done wrong.</p>

<p>I believe that home-school can succeed and be great for children depending on the parent's motives. From what posters have said, it seems as if when the parent's motives are for their child to learn and get more individual help, then the child succeeds, sometimes even more than public- or private-schooled students.</p>

<p>However, when the parent's motives, as in my cousins' cases, are to shelter the students than homeschool can have a very bad, detrimental effect. So, I'll just talk about what I know and how my cousins are compared to other kids who are public and private-schooled. Now remember, my auntie's motives were to shelter her kids so I am not trying to disapprove homeschooling. From what I've seen, I believe that my cousin's education wasn't a good education. They often learn from a computer program, and the information that they studied weren't the same difficulty level as a public-schooled student. In fact, IMO, their education was much easier than public- and private-schooled students. They never took the SATs, because when they did a practice test they did horrible, so they were only interested in a community college (not saying that anything is wrong with that).
Also, due to them being home-schooled, and the only adults around them being their parents and occasionally aunties and uncles, they didn't have the advantage of knowing about scholarships and knowing about how to apply or even why they'll want to. Also, they did sort of poor on the college-entrance exam and had to take a preparatory class. However, I will say that even though they weren't given to the proper tools to learn, they do seem to actually want to them, and according to them, they are one of the few people in class who actually are interested in learning and hearing what their teacher has to say. So I guess I'll say that because of home-schooled, even though they weren't given the proper tools to learn, they did seem to have a strong desire to learn which is important.</p>

<p>Now on to the social aspect. In my opinion, the social skills of depends on the parents and the willingness of the children. So now, talking about my cousins again, they had no extracurricular activities, and stayed home all day and played video games for the most part. However, are family is very close and have lots of parties and "get-togethers" for no reason, so our cousins did have contact with other people, even if it was just their own cousins. They did attend sunday school, when they were younger (around elementary age), however afterwards they stayed home all day. Now of the 4 children, only 1 was interested in the world outside of home, so decided to get a job, even though it wasn't necessary, which has help her to gain social skills and so she knows how to meet new people and is efficient in dealing with social problems with people other than family (who are most likely to forgive you). Now as for the other three, they are content with being home all day, so I do have to say that their social skills with new people, and people who have a difference of opinions are often lacking. Maybe it's just their nature, but they do tend to get mad easily if you disagree with them a simple debate can often turn into a huge argument with insults. When they don't get something they want, they often try to guilt-trip the person, just as their mom does (not with me, but they often talk to me about it and I often try to steer them to a different path since I know most people don't respond well to the "after all I've done for you how can you not do blah, blah, blah for me". I still love them though). Now they are not antisocial and only want to be around each other, however they're social skills, in terms of handling problems between other people, are very lacking which cause most people to just not want to be around them. Now, they do go to community college and have made 2 friends, from what they've told me, so I guess they do know a little how to meet new people, however I'll just call them acquaintances since they don't talk to them outside of school.</p>

<p>Also, something I forgot to mention, I think being homeschool AND sheltered, did ruin the "highschool experience" for them. True, they didn't have as much peer pressure as others, however they did miss out on fun things such as going to the beach with friends, hanging out at the mall, a boyfriend/girlfriend, homecoming, etc. That's not to say that they don't go to the movies, but they only do so as a family with each other (which I guess isn't that bad).</p>

<p>So basically, summing up, they do lack social skills and they're education was great, however they are very happy kids and happy with where they are, which I believe is important. They are close and do have a desire to learn. However, due to them being sheltered, they have no experience with differing opinions, and missed out on, IMO, going to a better college that would've helped them to grow and learn more.</p>

<p>So basically, I believe that if done right, home-school can be great, however, I think that it's best that if you don't know how to home-school a child, to get some type of help in doing so, or at least send to a private school (if you have the money), where there are fewer kids.</p>

<p>P.S. I'm sorry for this being so long. I didn't expect to have so much to say on the subject.</p>