<p>I'm sure all of you here are all academically motivated, amongst many other things. I like to believe that I am, too.</p>
<p>Lately though, I've been feeling as if all energy has been sapped away from me... I feel so damn lazy and miserable. I have all these things in my mind that I know I need to do, but I just don't want to do anything... except, I don't know, sleep? Man.. I just want to curl up in bed right now although I've slept like twelve hours the night before, and it's barely eleven.
Everything feels pointless... it's just a vicious circle. And I'm being an silly, angsty teenager.</p>
<p>What keeps my going?
Where I want to go in my username. The feeling that if I don’t get in, my life’s a failure. The strong feeling of not wanting my haters and naysayers to have the satisfaction of saying I didn’t get in and laughing at me. That right there is enough to keep me going.</p>
<p>I’m more interested with living an adventurous, no-regrets life than my academic life (although academics are important as well).</p>
<p>For me to live the life I want (screenwriter and director in Japan), I need to get a good education. I work to keep satisfactory grades (A’s) but I don’t kill myself to make excellent grades (A+'s).</p>
<p>I might actually know exactly how you feel. For the past few years of high school, I’ve felt pretty much the same way about everything, except instead of sleep, I wasted my time browsing the internet. If you’re anything like me, chances are you feel like nothing you do matters, which is true in some senses. Your parents feed you, clothe you, and generally pay for everything you do or want to do, there are almost no repercussions for doing poorly in school, and in addition to that, our society scorns failure to the point where it’s seen as better to not try, and fail for lack of effort, than to actually try and then fail for any other reason.</p>
<p>If that’s the case, and it very well may not be, I’m assuming a lot here, then you probably just need to get more involved in life. Go out and find things to get involved in in your area. Volunteer your time to charities, join clubs in school, take up running (Hard to get into, harder to quit once you do), ride your bike, just do whatever you can do to make yourself feel involved, present, and attached to the world around you. It won’t be easy at first; Newton’s first law applies to people as much as objects, but you just have to push yourself to keep going, and eventually, if you keep at it long enough, you’ll realize that you’re no longer stuck in solipsism.</p>
<p>Again, this might not apply to you, but the situation you described sounds really, really similar to what I went through, and I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. You’ve just got to do something, anything, and keep doing it even if it feels like you’re not getting anywhere. And don’t tell yourself that your problems aren’t real, or that they aren’t legitimate; if they weren’t legitimate, they wouldn’t be affecting you.</p>
<p>Well, I love succeeding without trying. It just feels so good to watch my peers try so hard to do half as well as I do in classes in which I don’t even try.</p>
<p>But if I have to, I will definitely try my best to achieve the best results. I love being better than my peers (as much as I hate to admit it).</p>
<p>But I do know what I want in my future… living in a stylish place in Greenwich or Soho (with a hot BF, but that’s irrelevant) writing for the New Yorker or the NY Times.</p>
<p>Getting into Tufts. If that happens, I will honestly be the happiest person alive, at least until school starts and I have to work even harder at Tufts.</p>
<p>But it wouldn’t really matter, because I’d be at my dream school.</p>
<p>It’s also really near my family which I miss. We live like on opposite parts of the country, and I can only see them once a year</p>