<p>God, I can't help being reminded of my failures. I need a machine to do this..</p>
<p>btw, it's not like I'm feeling regret for what I didn't do, for slacking off, etc. - the hard part is that I tried and failed, so I can't pretend in my mind that if I had tried I would have succeeded. there's no way to get around facing the deficiencies.</p>