Only 1 time, and very recently, did I find the “What do you do” a bit offensive. My husband teaches in a very wealthy district. We were invited to an 8th grade graduation party for a boy he had been tutoring since 6th grade. A wonderful family and great kids! Party was at a country club that costs about hubby’s annual salary to join. We were seated with other parents who lived in the town my husband teaches. The man to my left asked me, almost immediately, what I did. I told him and we chatted a bit. Then I asked him - he flat out ignored the question and turned to his wife and started a new discussion.
I, of course, googled him right after the party and found out he’s the CEO of a major Fortune 100 company. Only at that point did I get the feeling I was asked as a bit of a litmus test.