@partyof5 It’s unfortunate that the question of what do you do brings up that feeling for you. When I was young and had a pretty senior job in a major corporation, I often got surprised (ok) shocked looks when I turned up for meeting. Sometimes it was downright awkward but then I got older and I realized that some people are just not that apt. They can say things they shouldn’t act in inappropriate ways and even think that asking intrusive questions are fine. They are not. I recently taught my spouse how to avoid answering intrusive questions. This was particular pertinent as we sold our business and people wanted to know the numbers. Can you imagine? Yep. They asked it all. Well I said there is something we are going to learn and that is the value of silence in response to an intrusive question we don’t want to answer.
I don’t think they are asking because you are a person of color so much as they are asking because they have always asked intrusive questions. Or maybe they have seen few people of color be so wildly successful and want to know the secret.
Many people have asked me how my spouse built a business and how did it get sold. They are curious, some because they want to know our business, but others because they want to know the magic formula so they/their kids can learn from it. If it’s coming from a place of prejudice that isn’t right and should infuriate you. But I’d bet it’s often just coming from people who are socially a little bit slow. They want to know what you/your spouse did to become financially successful. I can tell you, we are not a minority. Each and every person who comes to work on our house wants to know what we do. Why? Because they want to know why we are working from home and still appear to be living well.