<p>I realized I don't have to try very hard in school (that is, have about a 3.5 GPA and hernandez' book mentions my school as one GPA is recalculated for - do they still do this?) to go to a 1st tier college since I will have okay SAT scores.</p>
<p>I haven't really acted upon this realization yet but I asked my mom, why should I get good grades? My mom said so that she can be proud of me, and ever since I began reading apparently early she's had these secret dreams of ivy league etc. I think it's unhealthy to base your self-worth on other people and as long as I'm happy, intellectually stimulated (i read a lot outside of classes actually), and not doing drugs etc., shouldn't she be happy too? why is sucess so important? I know many people here disagree with this type of thinking and I would like to hear your reasoning. I want to have a reason to try. If your kids asked you this question what would you tell them?</p>
<p>You've got a bunch of different questions here... why get good grades? Well, maybe you don't need to, but usually getting good grades makes it easier to do what you want to do. (My son was very careful to get exactly the minimum grades to be where he wanted, for example.)</p>
<p>Why is success so important? A much more interesting question. My answer would be: because it's a lot more fun to be content with your life and have enough money. Success is an internal definition.</p>
<p>Why get good grades? I agree with Dmd, it makes things easier (like getting into colleges YOU want to attend, maybe getting good scholarship money). But it should not be the end-all, be-all. In fact, we told our S that he should not worry about grades, but focus on doing his best in courses that he wanted to take since these were challenging, advanced courses. If he did not think he could hold his own, he could always drop back. Not having to worry about getting straight As emboldened him to take hard courses. </p>
<p>Why is success important? First, we need to ask: What is success? Getting a well-paying job? An interesting job? Working for peanuts for a charitable organization? Raising kids? Being able to juggle family and work and still keep your sanity? Writing well-received books (even if they don't make the best-seller list)? Discovering a new planet? the cure for ...(name your disease)? alleviate world poverty?</p>
<p>It's not like she's getting bad grades though. I think the real question is the disagreement over your future between you and your mother. She has these ambitions for you that you don't have (not that the ones you do have are bad). I don't see what's so wrong with not being extremely competitive and grade-obsessed so you can have a shot at the ivies. Maybe you just need to talk to your mother and make her realize that a name-brand college isn't everything...</p>
<p>Not everyone can take advanced, challenging courses, or wants to. That is not the only path. My husband is a contractor. He didn't take the toughest courses. His own business. His best friends are cops, fireman, lawyers.... he went to technical school. I think we need to recognize that not everyone is Ivy League, and there is nothing wrong with that....and success is not about schools....yeah, having good grades gives more choices, but not necessarily better for some people....my neices have been going to college for ten years, having to work all the way through, I am proud of them, as is their mom...they are industrious, dedicated ladies, who kept changing their minds about what they wanted to do, but kept moving forward....so, if you need a breather, fine, just don't become a total slacker, maybe mom just wants to be sure you will living not at home in 20 years!!! ; 0</p>
<p>You get good grades and try to succeed because you are (I am) an arrogant b a s t a r d who can't accept anything less than being better than whoever you (I) think is inferior to you (me). I hate (i'm arrogant and snooty, i know) getting lower grades than those who i think are less smarter than me. I don't know why. Maybe I need a doctor to cure my ugly disease of elitism. maybe not.</p>
<p>umm its not required, just slack off flunk out and end up living off a part time paycheck from mcdonalds while living in a trailer. an obvious exaggeration but.... nonetheless</p>
<p>Motivation, in the end, is internal. Parents who have been around the block know that pushing doesn't work in the long run. You will decide how hard you want to work and what your level of ambition is.</p>