Why I did not rush

Colleges and Universities A-Z Northwestern University
1

<p><a href="http://media.www.dailynorthwestern.com/media/storage/paper853/news/2007/08/07/Forum/Why-I.Did.Not.Rush-2930791.shtml%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://media.www.dailynorthwestern.com/media/storage/paper853/news/2007/08/07/Forum/Why-I.Did.Not.Rush-2930791.shtml&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Daily Northwestern
Why I did not rush
Kate Bernot
Issue date: 8/7/07 Section: Forum</p>

<p>
[quote]
Signs of Greek life are everywhere on NU's campus. From the sigmas, deltas and omegas painted on the Rock to the buzzing weekend scene around the fraternity quad, it may seem that Greek life is at the core of the NU experience. As a freshman, finding your place on campus is a high priority. While that place may be in a fraternity or sorority, there is (believe it or not) social life without Greek life!</p>

<p>When the time for sorority rush came around during my freshman year, I heard so many conflicting opinions from my friends: "Sororities are the only way to make a ton of friends on campus." "If you don't rush, how will you meet a guy?" "Joining a sorority is just a way of buying friends." "All everyone does during rush is judge each other." Making sense of these rumors, opinions and stereotypes was difficult. Ultimately, I decided that rushing wasn't for me. I had attended an all-girls school from 7th through 12th grade, and I had already experienced the "sisterhood" atmosphere. </p>

<p>Some people warned me that my decision would be the equivalent of social suicide. One year later, however, I can look back and realize I made the right choice. Yes, every now and then I secretly covet one of the adorable Greek totebags sported by the sorority girls, but I have also learned that there are benefits to non-Greek life. </p>

<p>My weekends are spent with my friends - girls and guys, some of whom are in Greek organizations and some who are not. There is no huge gap between us; we don't stare at each other like different species. I attend fraternity parties with friends and have never felt out of place. Guys don't ignore me, girls don't hate me. I have the freedom to choose who I spend time with and what social activities I attend. Unlike some of my friends who joined sororities, I am not obligated to attend meetings and social functions.
I also have the freedom to define myself based on my interests and qualities. I don't feel stereotyped because of the Greek letters on my shirt. Most students would admit to judging other people based on the reputation of that person's Greek organization. I try to keep an open mind, but I am always relieved that I am not being defined by a sorority affiliation.</p>

<p>No matter one's personal feelings about Greek life, the choice to join a fraternity or sorority is just that - personal. Approximately 40% of NU's campus pledges, but the other 60% of students don't curl up in the fetal position and die because they haven't joined a Greek organization. The students who are most unhappy with their decisions to join (or not join) sororities and fraternities are those people who didn't make their own choices. Stereotypes, rumors and others' opinions are not good reasons to rush.</p>

<p>Freshmen, you're not in high school anymore. This is college. There are hundreds of opportunities to make friends through theater groups, community service organizations, intramural sports teams or multicultural groups. Fraternities and sororities don't have a monopoly on friendship and campus social life. I have made friends through my classes, my dorm, working on campus publications and through other friends. I pride myself on the diversity of my group of friends, and I believe my choice not to join a sorority facilitated that. </p>

<p>Finding your niche can be difficult, but you are always your own person to define. Making the choice whether or not to rush is important, and don't let others make you feel guilty or odd because you chose to forgo the Greek scene or chose to participate in it. You may envy the sorority totebags or fraternity rush t-shirts every now and then, or you may have a chapter meeting the night that your other friends are going to the bars. In the end, it's your choice and no none else's to make.

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2

<p>I don't really have a point of reference, but I have the impression that Greek life at NU is much more take-it-or-leave-it. If you join, great. If you don't, that's fine too. You don't have to hang around only your fraternity brothers or sorority sisters; you can easily be friends with whoever you want to be. </p>

<p>Does anyone else have a point of reference? I just hear such different (and unappealing) stories from other campuses with large Greek systems.</p>

3

<p>Pizzagirl, you are pretty much correct. I made the decision to go Greek and it was one of the best decisions I've made in college, but two of my absolute closest friends are not a part of the Greek system and it hasn't strained our relationship at all. It provides an outlet for things to do, a lot, but I make an effort to not restrict my friendship to those in the system, and it's not a problem at all. It's definitely just what you make of it. I know people who rushed both frats and sororities and regretted it, and people who didn't and don't regret it... and the reverse, obviously, for both. </p>

<p>Also, to me, that article seems slanted because it only backhandedly compliments the Greek system ("Sororities are the only way to make a ton of friends on campus." "If you don't rush, how will you meet a guy?" "Joining a sorority is just a way of buying friends.")... when all of those are hyperbolic and not at all representative of my experience going Greek. The article never actually says one good thing about joining a fraternity or sorority and that seems biased to me.</p>

4

<p><a href="http://media.www.dailynorthwestern.com/media/storage/paper853/news/2007/08/07/Campus/Guide.To.Going.Greek-2930777.shtml%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://media.www.dailynorthwestern.com/media/storage/paper853/news/2007/08/07/Campus/Guide.To.Going.Greek-2930777.shtml&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>
[quote]
By: Alex Apatoff
Posted: 8/7/07
As a tour guide, I can confidently say that the number one question I get asked is "What's the Greek scene like?" My answer is always the same, and I repeat it here: About 38 percent of Northwestern students join a fraternity or sorority. That means it's big enough to make an impact on student life. That also means that it's small enough that deciding not to join won't negatively affect your social life. Here's the basic rundown on rush (excuse me, "recruitment") and the Greek scene as a whole.
In General: There are four "governing councils" in the Greek community: Inter Fraternity Council (IFC), Panhellenic (Panhel), National Panhellenic Council (NPHC, which encompasses the historically African-American frats and sororities) and Multicultural Greek Council (MGC, which is comprised of historically Asian and Latino/a frats and sororities).
All have very different recruitment procedures and policies, though most have GPA and community service requirements. All fall under the umbrella of the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life (OFSL), which has seen its last two heads depart for greener pastures within the last two years. OFSL claims to take a hard line on hazing and drinking infractions across the board.
Sororities: Panhel is comprised of 12 sororities, with an average chapter size of 126. These sororities have a winter recruitment, with one event taking place in the fall to orient "prospective new members" (PNMs) to the recruitment process.
Formal recruitment for Panhel chapters consists of standing in lines in cold weather and making small talk with sorority women for five days straight. On the positive side, you are guaranteed to see at least one streaker, which is as much of a Northwestern must-see as Dance Marathon.
NPHC and MGC do not participate in the aforementioned "formal recruitment." NPHC will hold a mixer on September 28 in Norris to introduce prospective members to the history of NPHC, preview a step show, and discuss timelines, rush schedules and rules; this will be followed on the 29th by a party for students to meet NPHC Greeks from around the Chicago area.
Sorority life at NU is not exactly like "Sorority Life" on MTV…or even "Greek" on ABC Family. There are approximately 75% less pillow fights that take place while wearing lingerie, and, as far as I can tell, most of the women do not go around pouring drinks on each other for revenge.
Panhel tries to keep the focus on scholarship and community service, and it is true that the Panhel average GPA is higher than the NU average.
It is also of note that the sorority houses are often nicer than the dorms, and they also often possess cooks that make better dessert than you might find in the dining hall.
Fraternities: There are 18 fraternities in IFC, with an average chapter size of 68. IFC frats also officially recruit in the winter, but there is very little standing outside in the snow, and even less small talk required, as IFC rush usually consists of catered meals from local restaurants, videogame tournaments, football watching and other manly bonding activities. The recruitment procedure for NPHC and MGC fraternities is the same as for the sororities.
It's also of note that NU fraternities, try as they might, are not like "Animal House." They will invite you to their dance parties, and often these dance parties will have themes, DJs and Solo cups galore. It's a great way to spend New Student Week, especially if you brought some fratty pink polos to indicate to the older brothers that you are a new freshman, ready to be rushed.
The Final Word: In the spirit of full disclosure, I personally did join a sorority, and am happy with my decision. I have plenty of friends who did not go Greek, and are extremely happy with theirs. If you do decide to go through with recruitment, take a cue from Public Enemy and don't believe the hype. Every chapter has its own stereotype, but in the end, they're all full of Northwestern students: smart, freakishly motivated, and a wee bit nerdy. Consider the Purple Book entertainment only; in the end, you'll figure out what's right for you.
Reach Alex Apatoff at <a href="mailto:a-apatoff@northwestern.edu">a-apatoff@northwestern.edu</a>.

[/quote]
</p>

5

<p>Are gay men welcome to join a fraternity? Does sexual orientation have to be disclosed? Are some fraternities more tolerant than others?</p>

<p>How does the school go about assigning roommates when one of the guys is gay? I'm sure a homophobe would not want to be assigned a gay roommate anymore than a gay male would want to be assigned to a homophobe.</p>

<p>Trying to stay on the frat topic here, but did have these side bar questions, too. </p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

6

<p>Yes, gays can join frats or sororities. Yes, some are certainly more "tolerant" than others. I'd think that a homosexual/bisexual/___sexual would want to tell the rush chair/president/greek initiate of choice that he/she is not a heterosexual to avoid potential conflict later. I suspect that there are some groups that would rush someone and then have a huge problem if it later finds out that initiated a gay. By and large, I don't think its a big deal, but probably something to get out in the open.
And the Daily is historically anti-Greek. It's one of the best kept secrets on campus. People LOVE to read and write about the latest party that got busted or how some drunken frat guys took advantage of a freshman girl. While those things are noteworthy, philanthropy, brotherhood, sisterhood, and positive emotions usually are left on the cutting room floor. I do applaud the Daily for its coverage of some philanthropic events this past May, but in terms of covering the Greek system, the Daily is overwhelmingly negative.
Greek-haters love to sit on a perch of authority and independence and snipe at those who "march like sheep to a stereotypical organization that is willing to sell friendship". Indeed, it is far easier to stereotype the Greeks by watching Animal House than it is to attempt to understand the unspoken yet palpable bond that unites brothers and sisters as they try to work together to live better lives.
And with regards to parties: Frats serve an important purpose - providing a safe environemnt for unsafe actions. Already 7 NU freshmen have been sent to the hospital for alcohol-related illnesses. Nearly all of them occurred in a dorm room. I firmly believe that fraternity brothers are far equipped to handle those who have had too much and care for them than is some girl's roommate who also has had too much. Greeks have been trained (yes, we get training) on alcohol consumption and are very familiar with what to do. The campaign against Greeks is something that I think is derived from ignorance and malice; and it weakens the NU community.</p>

7

<p>so how does rush work...does it start in the fall and technically start in the winter...what do u do to get recruited or whatever</p>

8

<p>^nothing starts until second quarter, so freshmen have some time to settle in... someone correct me if I'm wrong</p>

9

<p>Re: #6 That's unfortunate that some frats are disappointed when they find out they've initiated a non-heterosexual person.</p>

10

<p>
[quote]
Are gay men welcome to join a fraternity? Does sexual orientation have to be disclosed? Are some fraternities more tolerant than others?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>of course they are welcome. sexual orientation OBVIOUSLY does not have to be disclosed, that is your own business, and finally i would say all fraternities on this campus would be equally tolerant.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I'd think that a homosexual/bisexual/___sexual would want to tell the rush chair/president/greek initiate of choice that he/she is not a heterosexual to avoid potential conflict later.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>i usually agree with cerebral assassin but i think this statement is total ********</p>

11

<p>Elsijfdl, are you in a fraternity or sorority? If a non-hetero joins an organization that doesn't care, then no-harm, no-foul. If he/she was rushing a more intolerant organization, then a future crisis would be averted as the rushee and the house part ways.
I'm not saying it's good, bad, or just that a person should come out to a rush chair or president, but it's good policy and politics. It makes a ton of sense considering the wide range of tolerance within the greek community.
Unless you're in a greek organization...not "my best buddy is in a house" or "I go to a lot of parties at frats" or "I occassionally look at sorority houses on the way to class", I respectfully ask that you to defer to a person who has gone through the rush process and initiated in a greek organization that has non-heterosexuals.</p>

12

<p>i'm in one of the 'frattier' if not 'frattiest' house on campus and i can tell you with certainty that not only do we not care about sexual orientation, but that we actually have one or several gay members and i would not dissuade someone from rushing because they thought they would be judged for being gay. fraternities just want cool people that they like to hang out with</p>

13

<p>Remind me where I said gays should not rush.
Your words prove my point. You said that gays should not be dissuaded because they thought they were being judged for being gay. So what harm is there in asking if its an issue, hearing it isn't, and then moving on?</p>

14

<p>And of course watch it turns out you two are in the same house :P Hmm, frattier if not frattiest? ...</p>

15

<p>i have a few gay guy friends in houses, one of which went through the process after he was already out, and a couple others who have since come out, and as far as i can tell it hasn't affected their experience in a negative way. </p>

<p>and speaking for sororities, due to the process of recruitment, it's not something that's directly addressed and i can't imagine it would be a problem in any house after the fact.</p>

16

<p>I hate the term "fratty". I don't even use it as pejoratively. Everyone thinks it means something, but it actually means nothing. I think of my fraternity to be a solid group of young men who live, work, and learn together. We respect women, don't get embarrassingly drunk, and are on the administration's good side. If that means I'm not "fratty", so be it.</p>

17

<p>Aw, come on, guys, now you have to obliquely drop hints to tell us what frats you're in! No fair otherwise!</p>

18

<p>For alumni, recent accepts, and prospies, the fraternity I am in is irrelevant.
For current students, seeing my house through my eyes would make out to be a liar.
There is only one fraternity (and even that one might) that does not, at least occasionally, invite non-brothers and their counterparts, up for acts of varying legality. My fraternity throws parties. I have good friends in other houses and, by comparison, mine is far more serious about brotherhood and following a higher (though not necessarily religious) moral calling.
I could reveal my fraternity, but I'm not sure if the average student would believe me, and it would create negative perceptions of my fraternity.</p>

<p>I hate to speak in vagaries, but I just don't see how it is in the interest of the readers, myself, my house, or the Greek community at-large to start giving specifics.</p>

19

<p>Perhaps I'm reading too much into your post, but I have a guess now as to which you're a brother in... If I'm right we've almost certainly met in person...</p>

20

<p>What have you got to hide about your fraternity? Just say it. I really want to know...</p>