Why I like Duke short essay

<p>Please proofread my short essay about why I think Duke is a good match for me. It is only supposed to be one or two paragraphs long. Please point out any spellin/grammar mistakes, awkward sentences, and/or anything that could be better and whether this essay works. Thank you!</p>

<p>Why do I want to go to Duke? Where do I begin!? There are several different reasons I feel Duke would be a good match for me. Unfortunately, due to limited space, I am going to have to focus on just a few of these reasons. One reason I love Duke is its great opportunities in research and its wonderful pre-med advising. I hope to major in either physics or biology and later become a doctor, and Duke’s great opportunities will help me to achieve my goals. Another reason is its relatively small class size and wide range of course offerings. I really find the certificate program to be a very interesting program that will allow me to broaden my intellectual pursuits. Finally, one of the most compelling reasons I am attracted to Duke is its location. Not only is the campus beautiful and weather a bit better than in Indiana, but it is also located in the research triangle, which I find to be very beneficial for the course of study I will be pursuing. All in all, I would love to go to Duke and I feel that it would be a great match school for me. I hope that someday I will be able to take advantage of the opportunities Duke has to offer.</p>

<p>I've changed it a little since first posting. It now reads the following:</p>

<p>Why do I want to go to Duke? Where do I begin!? There are several different reasons I feel Duke would be a good match for me. One feature I love about Duke is its superb opportunities in research and its wonderful pre-med advising. I hope to major in either physics or biology and later become a doctor, and Duke’s great opportunities will help me to achieve my goals. Another quality is its relatively small class size and wide range of course offerings. I really find the certificate program to be a very interesting program that will allow me to broaden my intellectual pursuits. Finally, one of the most compelling reasons I am attracted to Duke is its location. Not only is the campus beautiful and weather a bit better than in Indiana, but it is also located in the research triangle, which I find to be very beneficial for the course of study I will be pursuing. All in all, I would love to go to Duke and I feel that it would be a great match school for me. I hope that someday I will be able to take advantage of the opportunities Duke has to offer.</p>

<p>i think it was kind of ironic that u said "...due to limited space..." ... b/c that in itself was wasting space lol..</p>

<p>Yeah, that's why I took it out.</p>

<p>=) wow that was fast.. haha u responded in like 2 minutes... umm it sounds good.. i dont know how much they actually weight those essays.. everybody has something good to say</p>

<p>Some points I think you could improve of:</p>

<p>"Duke’s great opportunities will help me to achieve my goals": What opportunities specifically? If I were you (and I was last year... kind of) I would mention the fact that Duke Medical Center is right on campus and that there is a lot of opportunity there for internship (mention HCIP).</p>

<p>"I really find the certificate program to be a very interesting program that will allow me to broaden my intellectual pursuits": Which certificate are you considering? There are like 13 different ones. Pick out one that interests you and mention that one specifically.</p>

<p>I know that you need to fit it into a small space, but unless you get more specific, your response sounds like everyone elses, seriously. You could take out "small class sizes and wide range of course offerings" because that's not really specific to duke at all.</p>

<p>Just a couple suggestions.</p>

<p>I agree with ay_caramba - I don't see much personality in this. I realize that it is difficult to write something and "make it your own" in just two paragraphs, but I'd suggest being more specific.</p>

<p>Thanks for your suggestions. I added a line about the Duke medical center and the possibility for internships and I listed which certificate programs I am interested in. Thanks again for your comments!</p>