<p>My sympathies go out to you- this must be tough because you do not want S2 to go through the bad times that S1 did. Not a control issue so much as a protection one. One of my friends told her kids that “Mama does not pay for Cs”. If they got a C they had to pay back the parents for tuition for that class.
I guess the wise words of my daughter’s pediatrician are the ones that I would fall back on in your place- She told me that I was the expert on my daughter. To trust my instincts and believe that if there were alarm bells ringing, even though the situation seemed fine to others, then to pay attention. So, listen to your son, then listen to yourself. Good luck.</p>