Why Penn over Duke/Rice?

<ol>
<li>Penn is better if you don't want to drink because we have a whole city full of alternate activities at our disposal</li>
<li>We've got plenty of those</li>
<li>Plenty of those too</li>
<li>see #1</li>
<li>Ummmm</li>
<li>That's a myth</li>
<li>You should be</li>
<li>we have more singing groups than you can shake a stick at</li>
<li>You'll love Penn's philomathean society</li>
<li>now that's a problem</li>
<li>You can bring a car but it is expensive and unnecessary. I myself live off phillycarshare.org</li>
</ol>