The parents weekend is coming up the end of Oct at UCLA for us. Could you please share your experiences if you have attended before? Was it useful?
And the freshmen parents - are you going?
I read the post related to parents weekend which was posted few years ago. Just want some fresh perspective.
Thanks
As freshmen, I just know my brother and I were both somewhat relieved to know when my parents dropped us off that I’d see them again in October.
It really depends on the school. For my daughter who went to an Ivy, the parents’ weekend things didn’t really appeal to us (many parents go if their kids are in one of the acappella or other music groups, since they all perform). So we typically went on a different weekend. For my son at a small LAC they have interesting walks and talks and a picnic on the lawn, so it’s more appealing, and we will be going.
My oldest son is a football player and homecoming and parents weekend coincide. We always go to see him play that day. Since our trips involve airline tickets, rental cars and hotel rooms we can’t see every game. The first year we attended some of the organized activities.
My middle son is not an athlete and his first year we went to the parents weekend. We enjoyed seeing him but skipped the organized activities. This year his parents weekend coincides with his brother’s. He asked that we fly him to his brother’s game so the whole family could be together (our youngest will be with us).
Our kids love when we visit. We enjoy parents weekend.
My older daughter went to college 2000 miles from home. I visited her school twice: when we dropped her off, a week before freshman orientation, for her outdoor adventure trip; and at graduation four years later. My younger daughter went to college in the next state over from us. She didn’t say much about Parents’ Weekend after she started her first year but then about a week before the weekend, we (she and I) both decided that a visit then would be nice. My husband and I didn’t do any of the official events or activities; just hung out with our daughter and took her shopping. I’m glad we did so.
We went to our kids’ freshman parents weekend because a lot of parents were going and we didn’t want our kids to feel left out. After first year, I went up to their campus when it is quiet.
I go up for their dance recitals. In few weekends I am going up to see D2 before her LSAT. I am renting a nice hotel room for her to get a good night sleep, and we will do a spa weekend after her exam.
Remembering back to being a freshman, parents week fell about when I got homesick. My folks didn’t come. I knew they wouldn’t, but it would have been nice.
Fast forward to my own kids. Older kid at Big State U, we visited a weekend later to avoid the crowds. Son at LAC, we are going to visit because it will be a good excuse to see him. He isn’t missing us, not yet, but I think by then he will be happy to see us.
And he has requested a few things from home.
We may not visit after this year because he is far away. I want to see the place and have a better feel for it.
We went to both son’s parents weekend during their Freshman year. Did participate in a few events but found the crowds not to our liking. Visited both again later in the year when their campus was quiet and they were not heavily involved with projects/mid-terms etc… We like to combine our visits with some wine tasting since the our son’s schools are near some good wine growing regions.
I went to DS’s parent weekend as a freshman last year, but did not go to any scheduled events. He is an athlete so I went to watch him play, then took him out to dinner and a Target run. Parents’ weekend isn’t just a freshman thing at his school although I suspect it is mostly freshman parents that come. I have a built in excuse to go since he always has a home game that weekend.
We have 2 kids that both attended the same U which is 2500 miles (a 5.5 hour plane ride) from our home. S insisted we NOT come to his parent’s weekend the year he was a freshman since we had just spent 3 weeks together in LA before we dropped him off at school. We did go after he had been attending for 2 years, just before D transferred to his U. It was fun–we attended several organized events including a tour of LA, session on their rocket club, football game and more. We also attended the year after D enrolled and again attended a football game and toured her school of Cinema and attended a class. We also attended a football game again. We enjoyed attending, but agree that it was a bit crowded with parents and families and hotel prices were somewhat inflated. We were still happy to have attended and have no regrets. We also did fly up to drop them off when they started at the U and also flew up for each of their graduations.
I’d be guided by kids’ wishes–if they want you to attend and you can afford it, it’s a “nice to do,” but if you can’t afford it in terms of time or $$$, I’d not sweat it.
We have a rule for attending any of D’s events. If she invites us, we attend, if she does not, we do not. Our Parents weekend was memorable and lots of fun.
You may not want to do this:
Last year (freshman year), we showed up and were met by son with previously-unannounced new girlfriend in tow. We’re close by so we only drove out for Saturday, but he spent most of the day working, studying or having lunch with his girlfiend’s parents. We only saw him for a couple of hours.
We all agreed there was no need to go back this year.
Youngest son graduated from the US Naval Academy. Only one official parent’s weekend - junior year. We went for the opportunity to attend classes with him. Mostly physics and didn’t understand a thing they were talking about, but it was a fun thing to do.
We went every fall and spring for one weekend visit, thanks to Southwest Airlines and a place to stay with a friend in Annapolis.
I went to Family Weekend at my daughter’s school when she was a freshman (she goes to school 12 hours away). I went because I didn’t know how well attended Family Weekend was, and I didn’t want to chance a situation where the parents of all of D’s friends were there and we were not. I had a good time, met the parents of several of D’s friends, and I think she was happy that we came. However, I wasn’t particularly impressed with any of the Family Weekend activities and I haven’t felt the need to go again. We choose a different weekend (i.e., better football game) to visit.
I would feel out your child to see how much (if at all) they want you to come.
We may be in the minority here but we have attended every single Parent’s Weekends at both our son’s schools. Next week will be our last one as S2 is now a senior.
It is such a wonderful opportunity to spend time with their friends and their friend’s parents - and it is always a blast! Both of my son’s fraternities have organized dinners, tailgates, etc so it is a busy fun-filled weekend. I would say that the majority of the parents do attend (at least their friend’s parents) and our kids really look forward to us attending and also hanging out with all the other parents.
We went for S1’s and D’s freshman years, but probably will not be going back for the organized weekend. It’s a large college in a small town, nearly impossible to get a hotel, even then $425/night for a 1-star motel. I’m looking at another non-football weekend to go over.
For D1, we attended parents weekend Freshman year at a cost of about $1000. We flew in Friday night (me, DW, and D2). D1 was too busy to eat dinner with us Friday night, but joined us for ice cream. Saturday, we spent in a gym watching an all-day athletic tournament that D1 was helping to organize along with participating in. At around 5, we spent about an hour with her before we went to a quick dinner with her. Then D2 went back with D1 to her dorm and stayed with her overnight. At her school, the main Saturday night event was doing homework together in the dorm’s lounge which is what everyone seemed to enjoy doing. Although it seemed like bizarro world to D2, who at the time was a sophomore in HS, it was useful for her because she knew right then that she wanted to go to a completely different kind of college. At least she got a lot of HW done herself. DW and I went out on the town. Sunday morning, there was a brunch, and we met D1 there but she had to leave early for a study group. I asked a lot of parents if they were there for their 2nd parents weekend. Nobody was.
Overall, we were happy to see that she was having a great time, and fitting in, but we were clearly disrupting the flow of her life. During her freshman year, D2 reminded us that we weren’t going to her parents weekend because we saw her the weekend before for fall break. DW was invited to a mother-daughter sorority function during D2’s sophomore year.
Why go? Same reason we went to their high school games and most events: to be there, show them the love and support, learn more about what they are up to and see their friends, take them off campus for a meal. All that and the proverbial Walmart run. After freshman year, we either came that weekend and didn’t participate in scheduled events, just hung out with our kids, took them and a friend or two to dinner. Or came the weekend before or after. I don’t think you can be analytical about this. Nor do I think you have to do everything the college offers.
If your goal is to spend quality time with your kid, it probably makes sense to go some other weekend–it will be cheaper and less crowded. If your kid is in groups that are performing, it makes sense to go, at least the first year. It might also be worth going if there are lots of organized activities that interest you.