I am a seventeen-year-old girl about to go to college. I have never dated nor continued with any sort of romantic relationship or activity.
I should mention I was somewhat homeschooled. Well, I was online schooled since eighth grade due to some health issues that are now resolved.
I don’t believe I am inherently strange or bad-looking, I just have never really had any opportunities to socialize. I have a couple of friends but definitely no romantic prospects, especially during the pandemic. My entire question is if people will find this situation weird? Will I get strange looks or will people avert relationships with me? Friendship or otherwise?
I don’t plan on lying about my past, but I’m afraid of losing my nerve and not being honest about my entire story and situation. I’ve always wanted close friends and maybe some dating experience, but I’m afraid my past will hinder my chances.
There’s no competition. That’s the nice part about having a fresh start…people only need to know what you tell them. You have the right to keep the rest private. You don’t owe anyone an explanation because their past may be different than yours. In fact, a lot of teenagers have permanently damaged their future with romantic prospects. There’s no need to be ashamed. College is severely lacking people with a strong sense of morals. Keep it up, the world needs more people like you!
It cannot be stressed enough that anyone worth dating will respect you for your life experiences, such as they are. If they are judgmental or offended, there’s a definite lack of fit that no amount of attraction can surmount.
Many young students have limited to no experience. For a variety of reasons.
What is important that you interact with prospective future dating companions with respect and positivity. Another important thing is, as a female, to find written and online resources that discuss dating and sexuality in terms that are good for you, and not toxic. Because you are not yet experienced, you want to maximize positive interactions, and minimize negative ones.
You have nothing to apologize for, and everything to build on.
Not at all. You are pretty young, and, in fact, the number of persons your age who have never had a romantic relationship is pretty high. In fact, it is likely that more kids do not have relationships before the age of 17 than do. Since we’ve been into COVID for almost a year, we’re talking about not having a relationship before the age of 16, so it is certain that a good proportion of kids your age have never even kissed anybody yet, and most have not had a real relationship (that “boyfriend” that they had for a month in the first semester of freshman year doesn’t count).
Some may find it strange, but no stranger than somebody never having been to the seashore yet.
To be perfectly honest, the fact that you did not have a romantic partner before the age of 16 is likely the least important and least interesting thing about you.
Most likely response to you stating that you have never kissed somebody is “oh” before moving on to whatever you were talking about. The second most likely response will be offers to set you up on dates, and to introduce you to people, and all sorts of unsolicited advice on how to meet somebody nice.
If somebody wouldn’t want to be your friend because of this, there is definitely something wrong with them
In any case, it will not harm your chances at finding either friendship or romance.
Please don’t worry about this! At least half if not more of my the graduating class at my kids’ school is just like you. And, you don’t need to tell someone when it’s your first kiss if you don’t want to. I know I never did. It’s not a secret, but it’s also not something that’s usually done (at least back in the olden days!). A kiss just happens.
You are not strange! I didn’t have my first kiss until I was in college… and now I’m married with two kids about to send one off to college 
you’ll be just fine!!
Don’t worry you are normal.
What is strange, is a 17 year old with two children with two different baby daddies.
One of the important things to learn as an adult is what personal information to share and who to share it with. Your “entire story and situation” isn’t something that needs to be discussed, and it’s not lying to keep your personal life private. It’s really nobody’s business how much you’ve dated or whether or not you’ve ever kissed anyone. The only thing that matters is if you’re dating anyone now, and that’s only important to people who are interested in asking you out.
not sure i understand that remark. I don’t see anyone here claiming to be a 17 year old with two kids by two different men. I shall re-read again. Also… I DO believe parents use this site as well as their children, no?
Don’t waste a second worrying about this! This is nothing that you need to talk to about with anyone. People don’t sit down at college and ask each other, “Did you ever kiss a boy yet?” They might be asking if you’re still a virgin, and you won’t be the only girl there saying, “I’m waiting for the right person, at the right time.” I would advise you not to say more about it. But really, people don’t ask each other, “How far have you gone?” in college. It’s like asking whether you got your period yet. It’s just not age appropriate.
As for the rest of it, people do ask where you come from, but they’re not going to be focused on it. College people are so absorbed in the new, exciting now, that they’re not that interested in the past, especially other people’s past. You’re going to have to decide whether you want to share with others your difficult high school past. You don’t have to. You could just say, if people ask, that you went to a small, non-denominational private school - which is kind of true, it was a VERY small school, with a student body of ONE! Or you could just change the subject. You don’t have to tell people you had to go to high school online due to health problems.
Don’t waste your time worrying about this. You’re going to have an amazing time, blossoming socially in college. Try to find activities/clubs/groups right away with people who share your interests. Religious groups, music/singing groups, social activism, whatever you like. You’ll have something in common to talk about, and everything will just move forward with talk about classes and things going on in college.
My point is, college aged people don’t talk about this. 13 year old girls in summer camp talk about this. Don’t worry about it at all.