Will this essay get me into HYP?

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>Ok guys, I'm sharing my essay with you. Tell me what you think, but please be nice :)</p>

<p>Hi adcoms! How are you?
Well, I didn't want this essay to be boring, since you're reading stacks and stacks of awful essays (at least if you're reading the one my best friend let me read, and her's was pretty lame. I know we go to the same school, but pick me, she cheats off me a lot :rolleyes:)
My scores are really good (but that might be because I hired a private SAT tutor and I've been studying since 3rd grade). I'm also going to get val (thank god, after I convinced my chem teacher to raise my B+ to an A-). I joined that one club, and I'm the prez. I'm going to be brutally honest; I really don't do anything in that club, but who really does things in clubs anyways? At least it's a good cause, I mean...yeah. And I'm really good at writing, as you can see from this essay already.
I've been to third-world countries, where people are starving. (I wasn't though, I had Ramen). I kinda sorta helped out, I taught some kids English.
Also, my parents are rich. We can donate a building if you want us too. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm 1/100th Native American, and I've indicated my URM status. Hope that helps!
Basically, I'm the best applicant ever. It would totally suck if I got rejected from [insert specific HYP here]. You really will regret it if you don't admit me. </p>

<p>P.S. Did you like the cookies I sent you? I spent lots of time baking them, you can have the recipe if you admit me :)
P.P.S I'd luuuuuuuurve to go to [insert specific HYP here]. You definitely won't regret it.</p>

<p>So...what do you guys think? Any pointers? Thanks so much.</p>

2

<p>too dry for my taste.</p>

3

<p>wait…wut??? I thought it was unique :(</p>

4

<p>gosh stop with the tags already. I’m being serious.</p>

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<p>Chocobok!!! [is a n00b]</p>

5

<p>Put mind control syrum in the cookies.</p>

6

<p>what ?!? i just wasted fifteen seconds of my life reading that.</p>

7

<p>that was a terrible essay</p>

8

<p>Not to be harsh, but I hope this is a joke.</p>

9

<p>To be honest, I hope you submit it so they’ll accept me in place of you.</p>

10

<p>this is definitely a joke…</p>

11

<p>Wow, I can’t believe you guys don’t like it. I thought it was good :frowning: Everyone always tells me what a good writer I am.</p>

<p>How can I improve it?</p>

12

<p>I thought it was really good. What are your SAT scores? As long as you have a 1492 or greater I think you’re automatically into HYP.</p>

13

<p>^^^ Put smiley face stickers and the scratch and sniff ones on it and to seal the letter!</p>

14

<p>^oooh I like that idea! Should I knit the adcom a sweater too?</p>

<p>haha, that’s so weird Secret Asian Man, I actually scored a 1490. Short by 2 points :(. Should I retake?</p>

15

<p>if you’re smoking hot, you might want to send a picture. good luck</p>

16

<p>no essay will get u inot a school. its the entire picture</p>

17

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<p>Duh! </p>

<p>Don’t forget the matching socks and scarf! They’re essentials!</p>

18

<p>Hilarious. The sad part is that it represents the honest views of the annoying rich girls I know.
And of course, 90% of CC doesn’t pick up the joke. Have you no souls?</p>

19

<p>Hah! I thought it was a joke- kinda laughed. But its hard b/c some people ARE NIAVE.</p>

20

<p>dude this better be a joke.</p>