<p>After reading that, I’d want to accept him into my school, but not you. Like everyone else said, the tricky part about ‘significant people’ essays is that so often the focus is on the person rather than the applicant. </p>
<p>Your tenses are a little confused sometimes, too.
“I really liked his welcoming attitude and felt only then that he will grow to become a really close friend of mine.” - should be “that he WOULD grow”.</p>
<p>Tylerb7 is right, it sounds like you used a thesaurus. </p>
<p>Also, I know it’s kind of a big part of the essay, but I don’t love the part about the lingerie shop… you’re trying to show them that you’re mature and ready for college (and I do know that it’s a completely typical teenage conversation), but that anecdote just really doesn’t show it. If I had to tell one story to the admissions people, it wouldn’t be “Lol, ladies’ underwear!”.</p>