Will you grade my essay please? It's my first essay.

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>An old English proverb says,"What you don't know can't hurt you."</p>

<p>assignment: can ignorence ever be bettetter than knowledge? </p>

<p>(please don't bother about capitalization as i'm on my phone)</p>

<p>ESSAY:
sometimes, ignorence can be better than knowledge. When we go through some bad experience from past to present world we can see why it was bad to have the knowledge. </p>

<p>Knowledge has made our life easy with ample opportunity. But it doesn't mean that knowledge can't hurt us ever. We are most powerful creature of the living world and we can do whatever we want to do. But during the second world war, the knowledge of the most powerful nations created the harm that we didn't want to experience. Looking back, we can see that it was nothing worth to fight. But, the present knowledge can't change the past. Those nations used the power of knowledge against each other. Even though we knew the power of atomic bomb, we used it so that we can be victorious. The innocent people suffered the consequences of the trouble and we said "we were wrong." This knowledge can't change the past.</p>

<p>Today, most powerful nations are the powerhouse of knowledge. They are creating many ways so that our life can be better. But what is better for one portion of the world, can't be benificial to all of us. We have gone through industrilization after knowing the power of knowledge. But we didn't want to consider the destruction of it. The developed nations are creating most of the greenhouse gas to experience the better life. But what about the poor and developing nations as well as other living creature? They have nothing to do with it but they are experiencing the consequences of our knowledge. Our knowledge is taking us to experience a arid earth in future.</p>

<p>While it is very useful to gain knowlege, but it is sometimes, can be harmful to us.</p>

<p>Ok I’ve never graded sat essays so I’ll just point out what you can improve on/fix </p>

<p>Spelling
Commas
But (1. Using them excessively, 2. Most of the time you’re trying to use it as an introductory phrase instead of joining two ideas together [you have a lot of fragments because of this], follow the general rule of not using them in the beginning of a sentence, 3. If you already have one joining word, don’t use another one [conclusion]) </p>

<p>Your conclusion could be better with an ending sentence to tie it up.
Using first person in non personal examples (users correct me if I’m wrong)
Switching tenses
Random advanced vocabulary
Second supporting paragraph is a reiteration of the first supporting paragraph (correct me again) </p>

<p>You’ll probably be docked the most on grammar</p>

<p>I WOULD GIVE IT A 4/12 for poor writing.</p>