<p>My kid is only mildly aware of M10 and what it means. We're knew to the boarding school loop and his internet searches are always limited to the school website and watching videos posted of students. Or I've seen him researching the town a school is located and what's around the area, how long it takes to get there. We applied to 4 schools, none of which are discussed a ton here and listed in the spreadsheet of how they notify. They all say by M10 on their websites so I assume mail. Should I open letters before he comes home from school so we can discuss? Or let him open them? </p>
<p>I feel like we have so many factors contributing to making acceptance difficult. He needs to get in (and 2 of the schools we were only able to do Skype interviews) and we not only do we need FA, we need more than what PFS determined. So it's not a simple, "read it and let's see what the letter says..."</p>
<p>I do not open my children’s mail. I do have the passwords to all their computes, mail and accounts, but go in only with their knowledge. If I felt the need I would arrange ahead of time with them to be sure it is acceptable. With this boarding school thing I get copied on a lot of the emails so I might find out first that way. With the portals, tempted as I may be, I will try to not log in if she is not around. </p>
<p>For your situation, why don’t you ask your child how he wants to handle it? In terms of the whole FA thing, opening earlier vs. waiting for him to be there will not change any of those many factors, so I would let him make the call. </p>
<p>I can see how some kids might want their parents to know ahead of time, to be prepared to support them and whatnot, but I can also see how they may want to find out first or together.</p>
<p>For my child part of me really wants to know ahead of time because of the letdown that will occur if there are no affordable acceptances.</p>
<p>My mom asked if I minded her knowing before me. I said no and gave her the passwords to all of my accounts. I don’t mind that she will know before since she will let me see the results first myself and wouldn’t be able to find out for almost another entire day otherwise. It really depends on what you and your child want</p>
<p>I’m opening everything…my daughter wants me to. When the decisions for day school came out last month, she was texting every 30 min to check and see if the emails arrived.</p>
<p>Back in the ancient days (2011) I had dad open the snail mail and text me the results. The one school that I applied to that had a portal I checked myself; I don’t give out my passwords. I think my brother did the same the following year, although he may have given out his login info.</p>
<p>We decided to do it as a family. I think it was much more meaningful that way. BUT waiting for Moosiehubs to get home from work for two hours after the mail arrived, knowing one was a big envelope, the other small, was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a LONG time! Especially trying to keep Moosieboy from seeing said envelopes!!!</p>
<p>Having just experienced this yesterday, it’s great to do it together, no matter what. Share the joy, hugs and all. Share the sorrow and be there for support. Children learn and grow from rejection. Helps them learn how to put things in perspective, a necessary skill when they’re off at BS</p>
<p>I’m a big believer in letting the applicant open their own mail. After all, they had to work so hard to apply and boarding school is all about an especially large investment of responsibility in the young man or woman, which includes discovering the decisions on their own. As to family being physically around during the opening, that seems very much related to the temperament of the child. I like the idea a lot. Our son wanted to open his letters by himself and then come downstairs to let us know the results. Everybody’s different in this regard. I wish all of you kids and parents much happiness and reiterate that old CC chestnut because it’s true, true, true: love the school that loves you back. </p>
<p>My sister is being very ceremonial about the letters. She’s putting them all on the dining room table to be opened all at once. My guess is they’ll log in to portals after they open the envelopes, but will definitely wait until all the decisions are in. </p>
<p>I should add, we let Moosieboy open the letters! We just all sat around while he did it, though I was the one who went to get the mail that day bc I didn’t want him to see the size of the envelopes before we were all together - I ended up hiding them in my big ol’ “Mom purse” for the two hours until Moosiehubs got home!!! But then I handed the envelopes to MB and he opened them himself! One envelope was addressed to us, though (FA stuff), so we opened that one…</p>