We’re not going anywhere. We never upsized so no need to downsize. Although stairs could become a problem at some point. The kids live nearby and have no thought of moving elsewhere. Mostly, though, we have our communities. For me, obviously, choral, sewing and water aerobics. For H, robotics and a basement and garage full of refurbished metal and woodworking shop machines that he finds on Craig’s List and restores. And actually uses once restored, although he sells some and gives some away. Great neighbors, great access to medical care. Theater and major league baseball minutes away. Oh yeah, we have superbowl champion football but I’m not interested in football. Not going anywhere.
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One S is 3000 miles away from us, S2 is 5000 miles away in the other direction. We’re not going to move to the country where S2 lives (and is getting married this fall), but if there are grandkids, they will be far away. It’ll be difficult to be near either S as we get older. Moving to S1’s area is prohibitively expensive.
Our house is not age-in-place ready and would require major renovations to get it that way (as in adding a bedroom and bathroom off the dining room). Downsizing would cost more than our house would bring.
Need great medical resources, would like a Jewish community. Our current area offers everything we want, it’s just not retiree-friendly financially.
Suspect we’ll stay here out of entropy.
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Our plan is to move to NH—currently looking in New London because it’s near a lake and small ski mountain. Plus close to good hospital and easy-ish access to Boston. Would like to buy or rent somewhere warm to escape to for part of the winter. We are in CT now and don’t think either of our kids will move outside the northeast. If they moved far away I might consider living closer to them but it would definitely depend where. West coast and most of the south are out of the question.
I would absolutely consider living out of the country—at least long term part time—but that is a nonstarter for dh atm. I’m working on him.
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New London is a charming town. Have you also looked at Lebanon NH?
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Lebanon NH is beautiful. We got some good Tex Mex there, too!
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When my dh retired we moved back to what was my home state of Florida until I was 17 years old. I had several high school friends who had migrated to the beach from Central Florida. I was very happy to be here. However, after moving to and living in dh’s home state for 37 years, I had wanted to keep a place there as well. I had made so many friends there, and it is our ds’s home. We were not without experience as we had spent much of our life owning two homes (albeit not as far apart as these two would have been). But, dh said no - we could just visit as often as we liked.
Then three things happened:
- Covid
- Dh went back to work
- Several of my friends moved away from the beach for various reasons
The first two of those have impeded our ability to go back to dh’s home state. I recently went back to attend the wedding of a high school classmate of our son’s. He was a groomsman as were many of his other high school classmates. Ds graduated from a small, charter school and the families were all very tight. It was like a mini class reunion for both the kids and the parents. Dh went to the wedding, but I stayed an extra two weeks. Most extended time I have had there since early 2019. It really allowed me to, “fill my cup.” And kind of rekindled my desire for a place of our own there.
The third event has made my tribe much smaller here.
We continue to go back and forth on whether we should now acquire a second place back in dh’s home state. Of course, prices have gone up considerably. I think I would honestly be happy just moving back there altogether. Ironically, my dh likes living here in my home state of Florida more than I do. I do prefer the warm weather - only challenge for me in that area are hurricanes.
Our ds has one more year in his MBA program. He will not be returning to dh and his home state. I don’t ever see that happening. He has become a city slicker and enjoys urban life. He is currently in CA and will have lived there ten years when he graduates next June as he went to undergrad in CA and remained there for work after graduating. He is nowhere near settled, not dating anyone, and working on very early stages of a start up. I think it will be a long time before he is settled - if ever.
My point in this long-winded post is that you really need to think about friends when you consider where you want to retire. I have a few old friends still in the area, and I have made few new friends, but it just isn’t the same as the big batch I had before. So, what you think you want may not be what you actually want.
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Haven’t been there in ages (grew up in SW NH) but wasn’t a fan back then. Will have to check it out. Thanks!
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We did move for retirement, well, pre-retirement. After I sold my company we got on the relo train with stints near big cities like Philly, and Charlotte. We wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle, so we moved to a lake not too far from Clemson. D20 will graduate soon and move on to her career. One thing relo has taught us is never follow family; the job market has changed over our 30+ years together. The likelihood of D20 remaining in one state let alone one city is low, but if there’s one place she’s likely to want to come back to it’s here; she’ll be able to see us and her college friends if she comes to visit.
My parents moved down 2 years ago, so they’re close by to take care of them.
As for the area, we have a good health sytem; Greenville is an MUSC location, so that’s the furthest I need to travel for any unusual specialists. DH’s friends are all moving back to the area for retirement, so he gets to hang out with his friends; he has lots of sporting events to attend. D20 and I get art, music and Broadway series on campus or in Greenville. My book club is full of interesting, well-educated women, many from the university.
As for location, we’re at the lake; it’s peaceful here. I can lay out on my driveway and see the milky way. DH works from home, so he watches the deer from his desk, not too shabby. We’re in the foothills, so it’s a quick drive to the mountain towns. There are over 100 waterfalls in our county alone. We have a lot of charming towns close by; they’re fun for antiquing and small town festivals. We don’t eat out often, but Greenville is a big foodie town.
It’s been good for us; the years of congestion tension and anxiety have finally melted away. Although… I’m more bothered by my drives into Atlanta or Charlotte now, white knuckles the whole time. Seriously, how did handle my drive to work in Baltimore everyday 
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I enjoyed reading your post and will be curious to see what you both decide to do! I for some reason assumed you had been in Florida forever - your son growing up there. Is your H’s home state also a warm weather state?
One kid is on the opposite coast, the other in England for the next three years and then he could be anywhere. So we’re not moving to be near them.
I always thought that we would eventually sell our house and live in NYC in an apartment with a doorman and an elevator, but that’s gotten prohibitively expensive too. So a more likely scenario is that when the house gets to be too much for us we’ll look in one of the apartments near a metro north station. I like to hike, botanical gardens and art museums, so our location now is ideal. We can be in the City in less than an hour.
Friends of my in-laws appear to be in a really great assisted living place in the DC area. They call it the finishing school. I could see being in the DC area, but no longer know anyone there except my SIL.
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A few years ago, my good friend’s parents moved from MN to Brooklyn to be near her and her family, and they are having a terrific time. They live in a doorman building across from Prospect Park. It’s still expensive but less so than Manhattan. Their neighborhood is busy and bustling (Park Slope) and they are still healthy enough for the train. I’ve always thought this was a fabulous retirement plan!
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Do you plan on moving when you retire?
Yes, from Southern California to Northern California (Sierra foothills). We bought property in Northern California earmarked for our retirement home. We completed the home 2-3 years earlier than original target date so had planned on using the home for a vacation home until we moved. Circumstances with my early retirement and my husband’s job transfer lead to the move in 1 year after the home completion.
Would you move you another country?
No
Somewhere warmer?
The weather is comparable to Southern California but the heat peaks later in the day. I would have preferred slightly cooler weather (near the coast) but can live with it.
Closer to your kids?
Both son’s were working remotely at the time, so they followed us with the move.
Older son wanted to return to the area since he attended college nearby. He lived with us for about 6 months and moved to Sacramento (30 mins away) closer to a new job and friends.
Younger son lasted 8 months with us then moved back to Southern California. He did not like the quiet, rural area and all his friends were still down in Southern California area.
What are your requirements for a place you’d move to?
!) Accessible Medical Care
2) Husband wanted more land and the ability to build his own custom home
3) Accessible Shopping and everyday amenities
4) Airport within a commutable distance
5) Community feeling among the neighbors. We are in a small gated housing area (8 properties) which has worked out well.
Cons:
- Still requires a car to get anywhere although usually only a 10-15 minute drive.
- Most of our immediate family is still living in Southern California
- Working harder physically maintaining the larger property
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I’m taking notes on places in NH too. Where do you recommend in Maine?
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Oh, gosh, there are a million places. Depends how much money you want to spend! The area we liked was north of Ellsworth. To be that close to Acadia would be so cool!
We’re planning on doing more research and driving around the state to pinpoint where we’d like to live. We thought about Bingham, since it’s near our camp, but there’s just not much there.
Prices go up the farther south in the state you go. If money were not a consideration, a place on Sebago Lake would be cool.
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I live in MA and went recently spent a weekend in Exeter, NH. My D and her husband were going to his best friend’s wedding (SIL was in the wedding). H and I babysat for GD while her parents were at the wedding events. Exeter is in coastal NH and it’s a nice, livable town.
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Am actively considering our plans, and it is so interesting to see everyone’s priorities.
We live in SoCal and love our home and neighborhood. But I really want to retire to a very urban location where I can walk out the door and be surrounded by shops, restaurants, libraries, parks, all within a walkable distance – and with lots of others walking to the same. Am strongly considering snowbirding in Vancouver, using multiple tourist visas to stay there 6 months a year and 6 months a year in SoCal.
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Dh is from Arkansas (my user name is a clue!), which is a nice four-season state.
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Hood River can be snowy in the winter. The problem is more that 84 East and 14 East close often in the winter. The PNW doesn’t really do snowplows, at least not compared to the east coast (where I’m from originally), they just close the highway or throw on chains.
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A lot of you know my story. I basically just got tired of winter and in 2005, had an epiphany that I didn’t have to live in winter for the rest of my life (grew up in Michigan then NYC for a year and Chicago for, in the end, 40 years). It took me five years to convince husband we should relocate, and another five years to make it happen. We scoured the country for places that met our criteria and took advantage of various trips to investigate. I often contacted a local realtor for advice and house hunting with the following criteria.
We are looking for a warmer weather climate near a coast with an active Jewish population, within easy reach of a major metro area, single family housing with a little lawn, good socialization options for empty nesters, and day and vacation trip opportunities.
Our son had boomeranged back home with us and my mother, and my brother and family, all lived in the Chicagoland area. But basically I had no friends and no social life. Husband had some sports teams and also had flown/driven back east several time a year (Connecticut, although here in San Diego they think Chicago is back east)) to deal with his mother. Actually, until she passed away, he wasn’t ready to move because his focus was on dealing with her.
In the end, husband wanted a spreadsheet to rate and rank our final considerations. I always knew San Diego would win! Our items to rank:
- Cost of housing
- Weather - snow, rain, heat, cold
- Cost of living (taxes, utilities, food, gas, etc.)
- Recreation/entertainment/access to body of water, beaches
- Socialization opportunities (JCC, synagogues, universities)
- Major urban access, access to city center (presumed this would encompass good medical care options)
- Employment potential (in case either of us ever wanted to work again)
- Neighborhood, walkability, shopping, etc.
- Ease of transportation - airport, highways, trains
- Safety/crime
- Rental availability - houses? Condos? Etc. (in case we couldn’t find a house to buy by the time we needed to move)
In early 2012, we rented two VRBO’s for a month each in San Diego in different areas to get a feel for living here.
We almost didn’t find a house but this one had fallen out of escrow due to funding issues and the realtor was childhood friends with the owner so convinced him to sell to us. It had a pool, which husband initially didn’t want but agreed in the end, and which I looooove. So I kicked the birdie out of the nest for the second time, and we sold the house to a developer so the nest got knocked down anyway.
I had thought that I would periodically fly back to Chicago and escort my mother here to visit for a couple of weeks at a time. But she passed away literally days after we moved, so I had a surreal start to living here. No social group yet for support (now I have one), no synagogue, etc. Dealing with her estate (with my brother) took a lot of my focus for a year. And it turned out there was more of an inheritance than I had thought so that ended up easing financial considerations.
Son ended up in Seattle so at least we’re in the same time zone, and a relatively easy flight. Also drivable in two days, although something we only did during the pandemic.
I have not missed winter in the last eight years - at all! Don’t miss having to put on boots, a coat, scarf, hat, and gloves to pick up the morning paper. Or scrape ice off the car. Or worry about husband shoveling our flat roof every time it snowed more than 2".
I think I was born to be a Californian - we live in the city but in a very suburban vibe pocket neighborhood. Yet we’re only 10-15 minutes from the beaches, city, Balboa Park, etc.
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edited…but too much accidently. Need to join the “insomniac thread” 
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