<p>My cadet left this morning. Won't be home for Spring Break because of team responsibilities and wanting to experience spring break with friends. Do any of you parents of older SA students/active military have some advice for those of us who are new to the concept of not seeing our kids for 6 months or more? R-Day (Beast) was tough, but I was able to see her in Aug. for R-day, PPW in Oct., Thanksgiving and Christmas. This next stretch seems like it will last forever, not to mention what it'll be like when they deploy after graduation.</p>
<p>Is this your oldest child? If so, then it's tougher when that first one leaves the nest. Have you tried Skype to stay in touch? Not sure if she is allowed use of it, but we find it's a great way to stay in touch. I began using it when our second child was in Iraq. It's a wonderful invention and free.</p>
<p>Deployment is an entirely different level of stress/worry for a parent, especially when they are in actual combat. Enjoy this time while she is in school, it really is a wonderful time, albeit lonely. When our third son went back to the Academy (USMMA) yesterday, it was much easier because of the "been there, done that" thing. It does get a tad easier as they grow older. I still hate that drive to the airport though, makes me sad.</p>
<p>You could always do what Mrs. MacArthur did and move into The Thayer so you could keep tabs on your child. But that would be kinda creepy. Or maybe just a weekend stay and then take her and some of her buddies out for dinner during the Gray Period. But that might be counterproductive and make you miss her more. Everybody handles it differently. Others will chime in I'm sure.</p>
<p>wpmom2011,
I've got one that is his last year at Navy and another in her 2nd year at MMA. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but the truth of it is that I just enjoy being with these kids. I miss their wit and grasp of current events. They are learning such interesting things and have very thoughtful opinions. My MMA daughter is in the middle of a 4 mo. at sea period (part of the curriculum at MMA) and we have only been able to receive limited phone calls and e-mails. We were able to see her for 22 hours this past week before she returned to sea for the next two months. </p>
<p>My best advice to you is to stay busy. If you know other WP parents, or even other SA parents, so much the better. It's difficult for parents with kids at civilian universities to understand the extra strain and pressure that attending an SA puts on the family and the cadet. I know that I probably won't see my Navy son until April, but we keep in touch via e-mail and phone. Do what you need to do to keep your spirits up during this time....start a scrapbook, clean the basement, eat lots of chocolate, etc. Some parents send their Mid/Cadet a funny cartoon every day or every few days. It keeps the communication lines open but also light-hearted and humorous. I know it seems like forever, but before you know it your cadet will be finishing up his first year and you'll wonder where the time went. Good luck!</p>
<p>wpmom2011 - I feel your pain. We took our son to the airport last night for a redeye flight back to West Point. He will not be coming home over spring break either. He wants to spend the time with friends on the East coast. I wish he would come home but I'm not going to ask him to. During first semester he called home once a week which was a big help. Over the next 6 months those phone calls will be even more important to me. If your cadet is willing maybe he could call home every week or two. I know it helps me to hear my son's voice and his stories of what has happened during the week.</p>
<p>I agree with juliemrn - stay busy! It will make the time go faster.</p>
<p>1) President's Day Weekend is often a time to come home for a quick visit.
2) Plan a trip to your SA for a weekend that your cadet can get a pass. Have fun in the area. Girls and moms can visit a day spa. (Those girls just love a bit of girly pampering.)
3) Start scrapbooking. You can cry looking at all the baby pictures.
4) Send boodle.
5) Send fun stuff that will make both of you happy. thinkgeek.com has great products such as caffeinated soap. Great for some of those mornings. (Hmmmmm, I may order some for myself too.) ThinkGeek</a> :: Shower Shock Caffeinated Body Wash
6) Find a place or an organization that needs some volunteer work. Operation Support Our Troops or Fisher House come to mind.<br> OSOT</a> Illinois Home Page Fisher</a> House -- Helping Military Families</p>
<p>It is hard. My cadet is in his second year and they do tend to start taking some of their breaks with their new east coast friends. Have you considered going to see him/her during their spring sports and catching a few games? Pair it with a long weekend and then perhaps your cadet/mid can come stay a night or two at a hotel with you or you could just take him/her out to dinner/breakfast/lunch or just to Target/WalMart to stock up on some needed personal products? I did that last spring and it worked out great. There are a couple of long weekends (ML Day/Presidents Day weekend) where you could go and see him/her if he/she is going to have some time off. Don't always think they have to come to you. Sometimes those short bursts mean as much as a long break at home. There are many Navy Lodges not too far from some of the SAs so that can save some $$. To me, if you would have been willing to pay for a flight for them to come home during a break and don't have to because they are not going to, obviously there must be some money for you to make the effort to go there. I don't know how all the SAs work as far as time off, but again, consider going there (even one parent) so there isn't such a large break in seeing them. Hope that is a good suggestion for some of you.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your suggestions. I guess I'm really not surprised that it's not going to get any easier. My cadet is my youngest. It was tough when her two older brothers left, but this is really "empty nest" time. I found the only consolation when my oldest son left for college was that I had the others to concentrate on. Ditto for my second.</p>
<p>I have already decided that I will be traveling up to see her periodically, but finances are an issue in the short term. She was able to travel home using scholarship money, and I used my credit card so as to not miss A-Day and PPW. (It was worth every penny of debt - although I have a 0% interest card. lol)</p>
<p>Been trying to stay busy, but there's still that unnatural absence that creeps in periodically.</p>
<p>It never gets easier. This last time I couldn't bring myself to take our cadet to the airport, so for the first time in 3 years I asked the wife to do it alone last night. When she comes home my cadet is my movie/cigar partner. We had the longest time yet with her this xmas (21 days) becasue Air Force lets them out earlier than WP and WP started later this year than usual in Jan because of the way Jan 1 fell. It made it that much harder when it came time to say good-bye. Enjoy the time, it's flying by very quickly.</p>
<p>Our son is currently in his third year at USMA and my experience has been different. R-day brought me to tears and the initial summer and first year were tough. But his absence after that became easier for my wife and me. In fact, I believe all parties were ready for his return after this year's Christmas leave. Please don't get me wrong. We get along fine and he's very respectful to us, it just that his current focus is on West Point, his fellow cadets and his girlfriend. He'd rather spend time with them than with my wife and me. Also, he enjoys his independence and usually doesn't care for the unsolicited parental advice that my wife and I give him. I can't say I was any different from him at his age.</p>
<p>I expect that part of what makes his absence less traumatic is that we still have a son at home and part of it is our acceptance that our older son has moved on to another phase of his life. A phase that does not include much time with his parents.</p>
<p>I guess the difficulty of the adjustment depends a lot on the type of relationship you have with your cadet when he/she leaves for USMA. We've raised our sons expecting that they will eventually leave home and live mostly independent of us, both financially and socially. Other parents raise their children with the expectation that their children will continue to be very socially active with them after they leave home. I would expect that if you're in this second category the pain of separation would be more enduring.</p>
<p>If an empty home becomes unbearable, there's always an urgent need for foster/adoptive parents. Seriously, there are way too many children out there that desparately need some parents in their lives. And given your childrens' success, your track record indicates that you would likely do a great job as a foster or adoptive parent.</p>