<p>If it were my kid, I’d encourage him to quit and put his energy into academics.
If he loves basketball, he can still play–and get to PLAY–in rec leagues. I think it is a waste of time sitting on the bench. No one wants to hang around where they are not needed/appreciated. </p>
<p>He could ask the coach for his opinion, but the evidence is that the coach thinks the other players are better. I doubt the coach will change his mind next season if he already has the kid pegged as a “benchwarmer.” Put it this way–if the kid tells the coach he won’t be trying out for next year’s team, do you think the coach will beg him to reconsider? Coach will probably say, “I understand. Goodbye and Good luck!”</p>
<p>Two of my brothers were excellent soccer players at a huge suburban school that regularly sent(ds) teams to the state championships. This school had Varsity, A (JV), B, and C teams. They quit junior/senior year because they didn’t/couldn’t make varsity in this program. (no point playing reserve as a junior/senior) One was frustrated by “politics”–(recruited foreign players? unfair tryout policies?) Our parents were not at all involved, did not go to games. After quitting, one got involved with the school radio station/sports announcing. The other put more time into academics and got a big college scholarship. Both got part-time jobs which helped pay for college.They still love the sport. Both still play soccer, and they are now in their 40s.</p>
<p>IMO, high school sports are highly overrated. Unless you are a superstar and can get a college scholarship/professional contract out of your sport, I think academics ought to be #1. And a job–even flipping burgers–gives more valuable life experience (+$) and looks better on a college application than “I spent 4 years as a JV benchwarmer–BUT at least I didn’t quit!”
Knowing when to quit shows common sense.</p>
<p>From my experience, other than perhaps in high schools that are basketball powerhouses, it’s not usually an “either or” choice. My daughter’s private school has a no cut policy, and playing at least two sports is mandatory, so the coach’s choice to not play her is especially punitive. The level of ability between the girls on the team is negligible, and I would be the first to tell you that my daughter is no Michael Jordan, but this coach seems to revel in or almost feel justified in benching some players just because she can. In fact, a point of view like your comment indicates, which many people, especially coaches share, probably empowers her more. It’s sort of like, “See, I’m the coach, I can do whatever I want. I don’t listen to complaining players or parents, so don’t mess with me.” When in reality, the team is losing and everyone is demoralized. It seems to me that some coaches build walls around them to maintain control. I’m sure this is effective at a state championship level school, but at most schools, it doesn’t fit and it’s not the best thing for the kids.</p>
<p>"A lot of coaches will look at it as the player is self centered and not focused on the team but rather themselves.'</p>
<p>… and a lot of coaches will look at a player and say either “I’ve been waiting all season for you to come and ask” or “why in hell did you wait until the end of the season to come to me” Playing time is the coin of the realm and coaches expect players to want more than they have. Coaches also want players to understand their roles and it seems clear, the OP’s son does not. </p>
<p>And yes, some coaches are jerks - and sadly it does not matter what you do if that is the case, you will not get a satisfactory result.</p>
<p>A good coach will not hold it against a kid who is not playing asking what his role is and asking what, if anything he might be able to do to earn more playing time this year or next - so that he may help the “team”. Everybody on a team should have a role and know what that role is. This being a JV team, “practice fodder” isn’t typically one of the defined roles.</p>
<p>Well, I happen to disagree with your school’s policy. Not the no-cut policy, I am fine with that - but the mandatory requirement to play two sports. That can and will cause issues as some kids just aren’t cut out for sports. Furthermore, you may end up with a number’s issue. Like it or not, at the varsity level playing sports isn’t about everyone gets their turn and a chance to participate. Varsity athletes have to earn their playing time and varsity teams focus moreso on winning than do lower grades where teams can be more developmental. It sounds like your program is a result of your school’s policy of requiring everyone to play 2 sports - qualified or not moreso than anything else</p>
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<p>Sorry but most complaining parents are not objective and have no sense about the true ability of their child nor how their child practices and fits into the team. You may think otherwise but you are wrong, especially at the varsity level. And it is no different if your team competes for state championships or struggles in every game. Coaches want to win and will play the group of players that they beleive will give them the best chance of doing so</p>
<p>Not sure where you are getting your experience in this, but I can tell you, all the coaches I know would say you are dead wrong.</p>
<p>You are trying to make this an urgent situation - when it is not. In fact, it would be an error to raise the issue in season. At this point, there are probably 2 or 3 weeks left in the season. Its best for the student to put forth good effort in practice, bide his time and then approach the coach at the end of the season with the focus on what he can do better for next year to EARN more time next year</p>
<p>Almost every coach should have an “exit interview” with each player at the end of the season. In this case, by asking “What can I do to be the player you’re looking for?” come season end, a kid can then be told you did or didn’t do that. I honestly think the only risk is asking a coach what they need is that you might be expected to step up and do it. </p>
<p>Is the guy intimidating? Seem retaliatory in some way?</p>
<p>Agreed - Every coach at our school holds such an “exit interview” to talk about the season, the players strengths / weaknesses, what they need to work on for next year, obtain their feedback, etc. Furthermore, we ask every to complete an anonymous survey evaluating the coach - so each coach can use that as a tool to help they themsleves improve</p>
<p>berry, ds1’s coach last year – his third in three years – was the first one to ever do an exit interview and parent survey. It was sooooo refreshing. I hope he takes what we said under advisement. This kid was young and had lots to learn, but he was the first coach who really cared about the team and growing the program. Last year was rough in a lot of ways, but I’d be the first to defend the coach if anyone questioned his commitment.</p>
<p>You seem to think that youth coaches have a mandate to win above all else. My feeling is that a good coach can do both - work out plays and strategies to win, and develop less experienced players. Make everyone feel part of the team. </p>
<p>We have a good friend who is a former top NBA player (has a ring), who also coaches youth ball. He and my husband talk about coaching kids all the time and his philosophy is that you need to develop everyone to have a roll - some smaller, some larger, but everyone is part of the team. It’s a challenge, but a good coach will do it. There is no reason to bench a kid for the entire season.</p>
<p>We have coaching surveys (taken from both the student and the parent perspective) at the end of the season… all done anonymously online.</p>
<p>I will mostly agree that there is a development piece to any level of any sport. But at our school JV is much more “fair” in terms of playing time. The problem with basketball is that you only ever have five people on the court at a time. So third string means there’s 30 kids on the roster? That, to me is absurd and there is no way that there’s not a slew of other players equally frustrated.</p>
<p>Varsity - unless you’re usually winning or losing big, I honestly think that a varsity bench deeper than about 10 is just too big for there to be ample time for adequate subbing on a game by game basis.</p>
<p>We too have a no cut program and in the least couple of years we now have four boys HS teams. C, B, JV and Varsity with the B&C teams practicing together and more or less split a schedule.</p>
<p>Youdon’tsay - thats good to hear about the new coach. Hopefully he will grow and improve over time. I know I started the survey process at our school many years ago - just because I wanted feedback and wanted to see where I could improve. Since then, our Athletic dept has used it as an example and the AD a few years ago started having all coaches do the surveys. It really is a valuable tool if you go in to it with the right n=mindset. Given that your ds1’s coach implemented it on his own, I think you are in good hands</p>
<p>There is a difference between varsity athletics and JV, th grad, MS athletics. In varsity athletics, yes, most coaches have a mandate or goal to be as competitive as possible and the foucs is on having a winning program, year after year.</p>
<p>At the MS, 9th grade and JV levels, the focus usually is much more developmental as it should be. But the varsity level is usually not the place to be developing inexperienced players. </p>
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<p>I mentioned on this thread I do coach a sport. And I spelled out my advice to the OP in one or two other posts previouls - please refer to posts #42 and #55</p>
<p>I find the idea of an anonymous parent survey both novel and helpful. In the context of basketball, however, with its small roster, I am not sure how anonymous it would be in practice–for example, if the issue is playing time, at most, 5 kids are the likely suspects.</p>
<p>As an aside, it is much easier being a coach, parent or player in sports where the question of who plays is determined by a clock (track; swimming) or head to head competition (wrestling; tennis).</p>
<p>Gourmetmom - I personally would leave that up to the athlete. If I knew I had a junior or senior who probably wasn’t going to get much playing time on the varsity, I would given him/her the option. Like I said earlier, some kids are fine with just being part of the team, working with their friends in practice, enjoying the camaradie even if they don’t play much, etc. Others are not. </p>
<p>most kids I know would choose the varsity - even if it meant riding the bench most of the year</p>
<p>"Not sure where you are getting your experience in this, but I can tell you, all the coaches I know would say you are dead wrong.</p>
<p>You are trying to make this an urgent situation - when it is not. In fact, it would be an error to raise the issue in season. At this point, there are probably 2 or 3 weeks left in the season. Its best for the student to put forth good effort in practice, bide his time and then approach the coach at the end of the season with the focus on what he can do better for next year to EARN more time next year"</p>
<p>35+ years of playing and coaching experience</p>
In my neck of the woods for high participation sports very few juniors would be on a JV team and I’ve never seen a senior on a JV team … in general having older players on the JVs works against the goals of the overall program … the JVs are typically the training ground for possible future varsity players and time juniors and seniors play take away from the sophs (and frosh) who have more varisty potential. In a typical year I’d say I see 1 or 2 juniors on JV teams … these kids are typically not yet varsity skill level but have potential that ranks another years look (6’ 5" guy still growing into his height … terrific athlete still new to the game … etc).</p>
<p>Personally with our kids we suggest they decide their EC participation on what they would enjoy most … if they want to do it go for it … if you’re going to be the last guy on the bench and never play but want to be on the team go for it … if you were a big contributor last year and will be again this year but want to try something new then try it. We ask questions to help them figure out what’s next for them … which sometimes is the expected and other times is not.</p>