With Restrictive Parents

Chance Me / Match Me!
1

<p>I have my eye on The University of Tulsa.</p>

<p>I've done a semester of Academic Decathlon.
I did band for 3 years.
And some random others I can't think of.</p>

<p>For my Senior year, I wanted to do something great. I wanted to join colorgaurd or do Teacher Studies where I'm a real teaching intern, but my parents won't let me.</p>

<p>My dad basically controls everything i do from now on. I can't do anything. So the only other activities for my senior year I'm going to have are
E-zine editor and Art club.
And that's only because I do them with out their knowledge.
I joined NHS, but I'm probably going to do that secretly as well.</p>

<p>I used to be in the IB program and that almost garunteed my acceptance to UT if I could keep my grades up.</p>

<p>My parents made me drop IB. Now I'm in some IB, some AP, and some Regulars. My grades are As and high Bs as opposed to the Bs and high Cs I made in full IB.</p>

<p>So I don't know. My parents just ruined everything I was planning for my college application and senior year. I don't know if I can get into the schools I want to anymore.</p>

<p>Does anyone have anything to say?</p>

<p>My last attempt at something will be Mu Alpha Theta, Computer Science team and Chess Club. I'm hoping my dad will let me do one. He says I have a logical mind and need to do things that will build that. He knows I don't really know what i want to do with my future, so he thinks I'm incapable of making my own desicions. Also the fact that I am very forgetful and irresponsible. I just started taking medications that help a little, but the biggest problem is I don't know my future and what will help it so he says he will choose it until I am more intelligent.</p>

2

<p>ok, dont get me wrong, id just like to know out of curiosity why your parents forced you to NOT do what you want ...???</p>

3

<p>LIke I said, I'm very forgetful and irresponsible. I screwed myself over whenever I chose to do full IB and academic decathlon. My parents didn't like me running around in the first place. Now that I've already hit the bottom and trying to climb back up, they want to make the descisions for me from now on. But now it feels like they don't want me to do anything. I'm just hoping the math or chess or computer club is good with them.</p>

<p>So what do you think? Do I still have a chance at U Tulsa or any school like that?</p>

<p>My dad is not very caring about my college apps. He thinks I won't get anywhere good anyways, so its up to me to make the most of what I can.</p>

4

<p>You should do what you want and what you think is good for yourself. Don't let your parents control your life, and try your best for the rest of h.s.</p>

5

<p>W T F That sucks... "I screwed myself over whenever I chose to do full IB and academic decathlon." What do you mean by that?</p>

6

<p>Stand up to your parents and tell them shut the f uck up and to let you do what you want. Their not real parents if they won't let you live life, I mean you have to make mistakes to learn from them. Then get some scholarships and loans and go to college without their help and tell them thats what they fuc kin get for dictating you.</p>

7

<p>Do what was just said, just without the cursing, because then you'll **** off your parents, but if they're treating you like a little kid (which they are, IMO), then go ahead with what was just said.</p>

8

<p>Maybe you could do a year or two of community college. In this way you could boost yourself to other colleges by doing college-level work. Or, you could go on to an easy to get into state school, then transfer later. That way, you can get out of the house and stand on your own two feet. I will warn you, however, that if you've been having problems, as indicated by the fact that you're now taking medication, it may be rough to move away from home and take on a lot of responsibility if you've never really been responsible in the past. At least when you screw up at community college, it's cheap.</p>

<p>If you're parents are paying for everything, they'll have a say in this. Decide what you want to do, how you're going to do it, WHY you want to do it, and sit down and talk with your parents reasonably and like a mature person ready to take on responsibilities. Don't tell you're parents, "i'm going to do this and this because you screwed me over" - it won't go over well. Don't blame them for anything, take ownership of any screw ups you have committed, and you will earn their respect. Also, your plan cannot be, "I'm going to go here, even if you don't like it, and oh, can you pay for it?" Unfortunately, parents often have a financial hold over the decisionmaking process, whether fair or not.</p>

<p>I was in a similar situation, and guess what? I went to community college and promptly screwed it all up. It took a few years of working in the real world to grow up a bit, and then I was successful. I kept my parents abreast of everything that was going on and earned myself some scholarships when I went back, but at times I had to tap the parental bank, and if I had approached it with a "Shut the **** up and let me do what I want," I can tell you I would have been screwed. And by the way, they are treating you like a kid, but if you've been as irresponsible as you say, you can't blame them - you've acted like a little kid. It's time to prove you can be a grownup, not to have a temper tantrum as some people are suggesting.</p>

<p>And BTW, it turned out OK for me - magna cum laude, and I'm off to grad school in the fall. So there's hope :)</p>

9

<p>*** are you a slave or something? with your servile attitude I doubt you will get anywhere</p>

10

<p>listen, take a hold of ur life</p>

11

<p>A slave? HA! No, but I'm older than most of the posters here (assumedly) and I have some life experience to share. If you want something from people, whether it be tuition or a place to crash or emergency funds or (later in life) a promotion or a job or a fellowship, you gotta work with people. I hardly have a servile attitude, and those that know me would laugh at that assumption. I actually have been very successful, thanks, in that I have already embarked upon a career and have now gotten into grad school. I was giving advice for how exactly to be most successful at "taking charge of life" without shooting himself in the foot. That's far more valuable than a whiny teenage "tell them to **** off" or "listen, take hold of ur life."</p>

12

<p>I think that making Bs and Cs in IB is a good enough reason for your parents to pull you out. I imagine that you can convince them to let you do chess club and math and anything like that.<br>
What you have to do is prove to them that you can take care of school, and I think that they will allow you to do whatever else.<br>
If I am wrong, I am sorry, and then all this is far uncalled for by your parents. They are trying to help you, they are just not very good at it.</p>

13

<p>"grab life by the horns" doo doo doo doo doo </p>

<p>-dodge.</p>

14

<p>DespSeekPhd, that really made me feel better and put hope into me! Thankyou!</p>

<p>And my dad is letting me do Computer Science. He knows it's a course, but I am not sure if he knows I will join the club. I told him there will be competitions. Well, I'm happy for now that I will end Sr. year with atleast SOMETHING cool that will benefit me. (because everyone does NHS, ya know? It aint special)</p>

<p>And I do not have a servile attitude. I feel that I am very righteous and very indignant, but you must pick and choose battles. At first I was upset with my parents desicions, but they beg me to trust them (trusting them was a hard hump for me to get over). My dad is old and experienced and has helped a lot of people. He makes people mad then a few years later them come to thank him.</p>

<p>And I don't cuss at my parents or anything. The worse I do is yell at my mom when she yells at me. She makes me very angry. She does things and says things to me that seem to have no logic. Like a river of non sequitors. But my dad is a businessman.</p>

<h2>A lot of people keep telling me to basically say "screw you" to my parents. Please understand that I cannot. Where we come from, family is basic unit and children are expected to be dependent on parents until parents see their child is ready to move on alone. Plus, saying things like that to your parents is so very disrespectful and ungrateful!</h2>

<p>Anwyay, as you can see, I still do not trust my parents entirely. Which is why these matters of college I am taking into my own hands and my parents aren't making any hint of taking this responsiblity away from me which tells me that if I don't take care of it, I'm gonna be really p-o'ed come graduation time in 2007!</p>

<p>*I just want to know, my chances for Utulsa or a school like Utulsa. Still there? *
I've started studying for ACTs and SATs. I hope a high score will make up for things! High scores seem to do that.</p>

15

<p>all i can say : 'whoa."</p>

16

<p>Can't somebody answer the question? >__></p>

17

<p>Since by your own admission, you have been irresponsible, something that your parents have been trying to guide you out of, my advice is to get top grades for this semester. More than likely, your parents then would trust you enough to let you do some of the ECs you're interested in doing. After all, what they care about is your getting good grades and then being on a good career path.</p>

<p>If it's too late to get top grades, then take courses during the summer and aim for straight As. Ask your parents in advance to agree that if your grades are wonderful (be specific about what your goals need to be), they'll let you do a couple of ECs that you and they agree upon in advance. </p>

<p>Best of luck with U of Tulsa. Usually, what gets students into state universities is grades, class rank and scores, not ECs, so the higher your grades, the better your chances at U Tulsa.</p>

18

<p>Well, you see, I HAVE made better grades. I don't know if you replied to my thread I made a while ago in the parent forum. About how I was in full IB but my grades were slipping and someone suggested i actually call UTulsa and SMU.</p>

<p>Well, I'm not in full IB anymore. A lot of my full IB friends will apply to UTulsa. They made As and Bs in IB. I made too many Cs! So I dropped down. And like I said, I now take a few IB, few AP and a few regular classes. I'm making high Bs and As. This 6 weeks SHOULD be all As. Its definately not too late to bring up my grades. My parents see that I'm making better grades, however, they are not laying off at all. </p>

<p>Okay, grades (check) scores (hopefully check) and class rank?</p>

<p>My school weights the GPA. ANd because I now have regular courses, even if I make all As its unlikely I will still be in the top 10%. Maybe I will be in my Senior year, but at the end of this year, I'm expecting to be dropped down to just the top 11-12%. I don't know if that makes much of a difference, but that means that I'm not garunteed a spot at a state school anymore (unless they take senior grades).</p>

<p>But it sounds like you don't think my chances are gone?</p>

19

<p>yep, wayy to restrictive parents. i mean, my parents are really strict, but nowhere near as strict as this. </p>

<p>just a side comment. you shouldnt really be shuffling around your activities like that. colleges like to see long-lasting commitments to clubs not a "1 year here 1 year there" attitude. also, you really have to love the clubs you do, otherwise you wont go anywhere in them. i love the clubs i do, which include catholic clubs and mu alpha theta and I have made what i consider lasting achievements as president.</p>

20

<p>I've been in band for 3 years and Art club for 2. Class of 07 is only allowed to be in NHS for ONE year. And it's not like I CHOOSE to join and quit clubs at random like I said earlier.</p>

<p>So... is anyone going to answer the question at hand? Or should I just wait until Senior year to post my full stats to be ignored?</p>