Words of advice for 2011-12 applicants & parents...

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>With the influx of new folks on the forum who are planning to participate in the upcoming app cycle, I'm compelled to share a few thoughts from the point of view of a parent who went through it last year with our firstborn and survived.</p>

<ul>
<li><p>For starters, know that the "Chances" subforum is useless as a predictor of your actual chance of admission to any given school. And I think you risk revealing too much of your identity in the process. Fatherly advice: Don't waste your time. If you want to get a feeling for what types of kids get in to what schools, find and read through that "Clean Official Boarding Decisions and Applicant Stats and ECs" thread.</p></li>
<li><p>Second, be very realistic about your own candidacy/your child's candidacy. All those brand name, "hey Mark Zuckerberg went there" acronym schools sound great...but they aren't for everyone. They also have very selective admissions rates. I don't mean to dissuade anyone from applying to any school, but know that if you apply exclusively to these sorts of schools you are competing with the best of the best for a slot. And even then, the best of the best can get rejected. No one is a lock...not a legacy, not a sibling of a current student, not an all-county athlete, not a CTY/SET-level academic.</p></li>
<li><p>Do not apply to Boarding School because you think it will help you get into an Ivy/MIT/Stanford type school. If you truly have what it takes, you could probably get to one of these schools from your local PS...hundreds do every year, just as kids from even the most selective and rigorous BS go to non-Ivy/MIT/Stanford colleges every year. But more importantly, don't think that you have to go to one of these colleges to be successful (however you define that) in life. Don't buy into that myth, no matter who is trying to sell it to you. This is coming from someone who spent four years of his life in West Philadelphia.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Finally, remember that this forum is a great resource, but not the only one. Do your homework. Best of luck to you all.</p>

2

<p>Also remember that everyone’s post are subjective. Don’t take it too personally if someone doesn’t agree with you.</p>

<p>Just be yourself for the application process because that’s all what school want to see. Good luck to all!</p>

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<p>Great thread :slight_smile: SevenDad, that’s some really helpful and true advice.</p>

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<p>I agree, this is a great thread. I think all new applicant’s should take this advice seriously.</p>

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<p>Having gone through the application process last year, some impressions about practical matters and a few other thoughts:</p>

<p>1) It is a lot of work. Start getting organized now.</p>

<pre><code> Review SSAT practice book and take a few practice tests. Schedule testing now (and maybe a back-up date in December)

Work on SSAT vocabulary.

Plan visits. Seeing the schools is extremely helpful. Interview schedules open soon and fill very quickly. Make files. After visits enter thoughts. Take pix with cellphone. The schools will blur into sameness if you try to remember back in March.

Essay questions go up in early September. There are several common ones, and often 6 more individual ones for each school. Brainstorm, write, re-write and give yourself days to enter (the word and character count limits are hazardous and will randomly scramble the entries). (Parents get their own essays too). Think about what makes your application stand out, and try to develop that theme in many of the essays.

Realize current English and Math teachers will be writing recs, probably around Thanksgiving - get them the forms early, and consider including a brief cv of your interests and accomplishments.

Getting it all in by early December is a very good idea, because parts and pieces get lost, and scrambling over the holidays to reach teachers or find forms is awful.  The schools probably start reviewing after returning early in January and it helps to be complete and on top of the pile.

 CHECK, CHECK and RECHECK that everything is received.  Often the websites the schools put up are inaccurate, delayed or crash. Schools are happy to check over the phone  - if you are checking in December.  Good luck even getting thru in January.

</code></pre>

<p>2) It is an adventure, and for our family it was a defining process as we worked together to figure out what each of us valued and hoped for. Best wishes to all the 2012 applicants and their families. </p>

<p>3) If you are fortunate enough to be accepted to your dream school, take a moment to thank the many people who helped you get there.</p>

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<p>Wow. I didn’t know parents get essays… Or is that part of one of the forms; I forgot what it’s called.</p>

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<p>@2prep - Around what time would you suggest giving teachers the recommendations?</p>

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<p>Parents get ‘parent statements’.</p>

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<p>Give your teachers their recs before Winter Break.</p>

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<p>One poster (Albion?) who is a BS teacher recommended getting recco forms as early as possible…but definitely NOT after Winter Break/the week they are due.</p>

<p>We sent the forms for our daughter in the first week of Dec, after giving teachers/admin a heads up at Fall Parent/Teacher conferences. Hopefully by that time, you have your “apply to” list set, so the teachers/admins can do them all at once and not in dribs and drabs. Many schools accept a common form, and even those who don’t seem to use very similar forms…but we were wary about sending one school a form from another.</p>

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<p>Recommendations:</p>

<p>Since you have little choice in most of the the recommendations (current math, english and principal or advisor) getting those folks the forms before Thanksgiving break gives them lots of time to get them done and in. Many of the schools use different common forms, so each of the teachers we asked had about three of them to fill out. They are long. </p>

<p>The school grades do not need to be sent with the recommendations. (and you will need several years worth, an issue if you have changed schools) Depending on whether your school is semester or trimester, schools only need grades thru the fall, which may be interim rather than final, and that may impact on when and what transcript is sent.</p>

<p>Different schools may also request additional recommendations (additional teacher, community member, athletic coach or music mentor, foreign language teacher), so we made a grid with who wanted which ones to keep it all straight.</p>

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<p>Work super hard all year, even after you’ve sent your applications in. Study for the SSATs (don’t try to take it blind). Also, make sure to spend time on your applications–spend breaks and everything trying to shape it up. Lastly, shine in your interview! Do your homework on the schools, and don’t be afraid to ask your interviewer questions about the school.</p>

13

<p>Cast a wider net than you think you should. I’ve been following the forum for several years, and on March 10th, I’m usually struck by the candidates who applied to only one or two schools–and didn’t get in.</p>

<p>In August, it seems reasonable to apply to only “the best” (i.e., the schools you’e heard of at that time,) assuming your default school will be fine if you don’t get in. Come March 10th, it may be a very hard plan to follow. Very, very few candidates get into the schools everyone has heard of. </p>

<p>It costs very little to visit a few other schools. Even if your son/daughter swears the school must be coed, make plans to visit at least one single sex school (of the appropriate gender). Even if you think the school should be large, try to visit a small school as well (and vice versa). Even though your child’s determined to board, try to find a respectable day school in your immediate area.</p>

<p>At the end of the process, you will know the schools you should never have visited–and you will know which schools you should have visited. The list of “schools I love” changes from August to April. Cast a wide net.</p>

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<p>Bumping this again in hopes that it helps those just starting the process…</p>

<p>I did indeed vote for getting teacher recommendation forms out early. I’ve had kids hand me recommendation forms in late October, and I didn’t think it was too early. Personally, I don’t like being handed forms to fill out right before a break (Thanksgiving, Fall Weekend, Christmas, etc.) because the implied message seems to be “hey, now that you have time off, write this recommendation for me.” Just the gap of two or three days takes the sting out of it, and also makes it less likely to get lost in the rush of day-before-the-holiday busy work.</p>

<p>I underline the suggestion of clipping a list of your current activities/awards/achivements (keep it manageable, and don’t go back more than 2 years) to the recommendation form. It would be great if you could talk to your teacher a little about what you’re hoping to get from boarding school. (I always interview my kids so I can write a better recommendation and reinforce whatever they are focusing on in their application.) It may be hard if you’re shy, but boarding school teachers will be talking to you all the time, so think of it as practice for the future.</p>

<p>Best of luck, all.</p>

15

<p>my two cents on advise; i went through the app cycle with my daughter last year too and it’s like applying for college.</p>

<p>firstly sevendad’s post hit the nail on the head in terms of no one is a lock. another parent also gave a good advise, who says admission selection “is like the schools are putting together a group for camping trip, and they select a good mix of people for that trip.” this means it’s NOT whether you are good enough to get into the school (although you have to meet the minimum qualification and you have to be “interesting”). it is actually whether you FIT that class mix and fill the GAP that the school needs. So this means it’s a bit of a luck, i.e., if the school need an extra butterfly swimmer and fit you that bill then you are in luck, but if you are just a freestyle swimmer and they need a butterfly swimmer then too bad. Because of this, this means you have to play the % game because you never know.
in our case, my daughter didnt get into the school that powerful alumni thought it’s a lock, but got into a school she think has the lowest chance because they accept very few int’l students (but it’s her top choice and fits her best)</p>

<p>second advise, go for the school that has the best fit. from the outset, milton seems natural for my daughter in terms of the way the application let her express herself better, in terms of her falling in love with the school after the interview and meeting the people, in terms of what’s good at the school that fit my daughter’s strength, etc. And guess what, she was accepted. I suggest you should apply to 3 - 7 schools to play the % game, but focus on the school that seems to fit the best (instead of the biggest name). Also you will do the best in the school that fit you best, which is also important for college</p>

<p>thirdly, BS does NOT increase the chance of going to HYPM. IF your kid is the greatest thing in the world, he/she will get into HYPM from local school or BS anyway - it makes no difference. IF your kid is best in his/her local school (top 2%) in a good local school but not the best thing in the world, then you kid actually stands a BETTER chance of getting to HYPM than from a local school instead of from BS, as college compares kids against the same group - ie., they will take all the BS kids and select SOME but NOT ALL into these top colleges. So this means competition is tougher from BS to HYPM than from a good local school that has good placement.
so you have to ask yourself why send kids to BS. In our case, so that she can find herself better and be a different person. Her local school is among the best in HK, but still has a boarder mix of kids, whereas everyone in BS is focused and has more opportunity, so we think she can learn more about herself at a top BS. HYPM was THE point when we first started thinking about BS. At the end of the cycle before we decided to send her to bs and before she decided to go, HYPM was actually NO LONGER the point. The point of BS is a much better experience, something she probably wouldnt get even if she goes to a good college.</p>

<p>Also sevendad says, once you get there, everyone are best of the best students. My daughter is CTY talent search high achievement level, but I would say academically she is barely middle of the pack (at best). I myself have a friend who was 95% at Stuyvesant, and he was only B student at Exeter. My daughter also has a friend who was A+ student at the #1 high school in Hong Kong, and he was a B- student at Exeter. So be realistic which school you apply to, and which school you / your kid can do well in.</p>

<p>Tactically, visit the school is key. We didn’t (because of distance and cost), and we are probably at a significant disadvantage. It’s because not all schools let their admission officer interview at local receptions. If you are not interviewed by an admission officer, then you are just a number, and your application has to stand out that much more. So if you can afford it, you should visit the school and ask to meet the admission committee member for interview</p>

<p>Also study volcab, even if you are top CTY students and score well for SAT for CTY. SSAT volcab is a lot tougher than SAT, believe it or not.<br>
Also some kids don’t have to study for ssat of course. My daughter didn’t have that luxury and studied for 2+ months. BUT some of her classmates studied for 2 years (without advertising of course, but in reality some of the 99% actually studied). BTW, the people that i knew studied for 2 years were also from their “gifted” group (so this means even SOME very smart people studied for ssat to get ahead because the competition are so tough)</p>

<p>You’ll need a hook in which is the toughest, this I cannot give advise. The one thing I would give is the essay should “reflect” her personality (i.e., reflect her personality, not state her personality). Imagine AO reads hundreds of application to choose a few, so they need something that a) stands out and b) ring in their head</p>

<p>Lastly, BS application is a family experience as it is so intense, but the application itself HAS to be from your kid. AO can tell if the kid get too much help - that’s a big turnoff. AO also typically ask if the kids want to go to BS or if the parent initiated it. I was told it’s a big turnoff if BS application came from the parent.
Keep that in mind.<br>
good luck</p>

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<p>Adding to the prior post, consider where your kids fall on the statiscal information as an indicator (not an absolute) for how they might perform academically at the particular school. There are “best of the best students” beyond HADES and almost every kid will be stretched at any of the top 20 or so BS, so where your kid might fall in the class is an important consideration–IMO much more important than the school’s prestigious name. Comparing the experience of my first and second children (#1 at HADES, #2 at what CCers call second tier) being “middle of the pack” has been VERY TOUGH on #1. In contrast, #2 choose a school where his stats were above the median and he’s thriving–really thriving. We haven’t seen gone through college admissions yet, but as a parent, I would take thriving (and doing great academically) over struggle ANY DAY!!!</p>

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<p>erlanger, while finding a school where the kid can be properly stretched but is not struggling to the extent of “suffering” is an import part of finding the “fit”, I take issue with your statement “I would take thriving (and doing great academically) over struggle ANY DAY!!!”. Many BS students/families choose to give up the comfort of being at the top or “thriving” at their PS or a small local private school to be challenged and “struggle” in a BS. Why? Because they believe that being challenged to grow stronger is an important part of life, and they see the benefit of doing it at this formative age. Now, this is not meant to be a blanket statement because there are successful people from all kinds of different background, but it’s uncommon that some valedictorians from public schools or even the small private schools struggle big time in their ivy league college while some “in the middle of pack” academically challenging BS graduates are doing great at college and graduate schools although they may not be able to attend the most selective colleges… I figure it’s just another perspective to see things 'cause I know there are kids and families who are evaluating the pros and cons of attending a “hard” BS.</p>

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<p>I’ll just add to this interesting exchange that it can also be difficult to know exactly whether a kid with thrive or struggle until he or she is in the midst of things–particularly if the kid comes from a school or background where students don’t typically go to prep school.</p>

<p>That said…I wouldn’t send my kid who had some learning difficulties in early primary years and who still has struggles now and again to a “top” school (even if he got in), because he needs confidence boosting and challenge in equal measure and not necessarily in the same activities–having some stuff come easily helps him attack the more difficult stuff. IF we send him at all, it will be to a “thrive” school. The other one’s confidence is only boosted by facing and meeting a challenge–he’s made for a “challenge” school.</p>

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<p>DAndrew, I was not drawing a comparison betw. local PS or Pub. School “coasting” and BS thriving, for the reason that there is not a great comparison to be made. Any of the top 20 or 30 or so should and will provide challenges for almost all but the really extraordinary students because of the class offerings and the surrounding of other very high-performing students. What I was trying to say was within the BS there is still some range of student caliber by the numbers and it can make for a better experience if parents are honest about where their kids are best served. It’s very true that it can be hard to gauge until a child is at school, but I do think the dreaded #s are one indicator to consider honestly.</p>

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<p>But are there multiple definitions of “kids are best served” to different people? If a kid is struggling or even end up in the middle of the pack after struggling in a top BS, does it necessarily mean it’s an “accident” or a “mistake” of their parents? Is there such thing as looking for and embracing the challenges and even failures for long term benefits? Again, a different perspective or something to think about.</p>