<p>Applying to Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, NYU and a few others. Just finishing up the main essay, would love a bit of feedback. Here's a link (simply so I'm able to delete at a later time): College</a> Essay</p>
<p>courted by all of silicon valley at age 17? no big deal. my only qualm is you sort of took the personal out of personal statement. you tell the story and wrap up quickly, albeit well, at the end, but it seems like there’s no voice.</p>
<p>Yeah, I was worried about that too. I assume you’re referring to my personal statement being a quote? It’s also pretty close to the word cutoff.</p>
<p>i wasn’t referring to that, but yeah, ending with a quotation to summarize your own personal statement is weak. i was referring more to the fact that the only personality we get from you is the introduction and the conclusion. the entire body is just you telling the story, and you tell it very well, i’m just worried that your voice is lost. because really, all this essay says is “i’ve done this, this, and this.” you have done a lot, it’s seriously impressive, don’t get me wrong, but i just wanted you to be aware that this reads a lot like a bulleted list of your accomplishments.</p>
<p>Sort of wanted it to read like a biography (although a hell of a short one), and my supplements really get into why I love doing this, why I’m good at it, and the meaning behind it. Couldn’t really find another place to tell my story.</p>
<p>Stanford is my top choice by a long shot, and their supplements are a great setup, so not too worried. Also have some connections with Tom Montag (whom the Stanford admissions building is named after), so that should help too. Thanks again!</p>
<p>that sounds completely fine! i wasn’t even suggesting you change it, i just wanted you to be aware of it. like, i don’t actually see a problem with it. you have an amazing story, you deserve to tell it. good luck!</p>