<p>Hey, I am a senior at a high school(And i am a girl, if that makes this post more personal), and I will be attending UVA inthe fall. One of the things that I am most worried about, is making new friends and having fun at college. Sure, people might laugh at my concerns, but this is something that I really worry about.
You see, in high school, I was never the popular girl. Although I can be quite the clown for my friends, most of times, I am a shy Asian girl. I don't know, maybe my self esteem is so down because of really quirky reasons of my own, because I am a minority? I don't know, something really stupid like that.<br>
People tell me I can be funny, but in a weird, unconventional way that apparently make people laugh, but kind of drive them away from me because they don't really get me. Don't get me wrong, I am no weird Asian nerd/freak or whatever. But all this kidding around and joking prevents me from really "talking" with people. I feel like the only reason people talk to me is because I amuse them somehow. But other times, I can be shy and quiet like the stereotypical asian girl you see and hear much about.<br>
Most friends I have, emphasis on"friends," I don't think are my friends at all, but just friendly acquantances that are not even close to me. Sometimes I feel so distant from these people that it scares me if I have anyone that would even care for me at all at school.<br>
Gosh, I feel so embarassed at telling ppl i don't even know about this. But I feel like I have to let it out(I guess emo people cut their wrists when in angst, fat people eat their feelings out, but asians just quietly type it out on random webpages). I can't even do this on myspace, except be fake and funny and happy and be everything I am not.<br>
So if ppl are still reading this, which I doubt you won't, my main concern at college is that this will continue for next four years of my precious college life. I don't want to have fake friends. Trust me, it's worse than not having friends at all... i think. Plus i can be very shy around new people (what can i say, i am a complex girl). So how can i make genuine, good friends in college? any advises? how do i get over my shyness?</p>
<p>Hey,</p>
<p>I kind of have the same problem as you. Anyways, I think it will get better in college. I don't really have too many friends at school, only "acquaintances", like how you pointed out. </p>
<p>Anyways, I was put into a situation last year where I had to dorm with other high school juniors, and go to the same school and all, very similar to college, actually. I made tons of very close friends. I never thought I was capable of that. I had so much fun too and still keep in touch with them even though they live all across the country. My point is, even though I was shy and quiet and all, I was still able to make many friends and come out of my shell. I'm sure college will be similar to this for you and me.</p>
<p>but i don't want to be shy and quiet in college.</p>
<p>letsgetstarted~ it's a very simple, yet difficult truth...you need to be yourself. sounds like the problem is that you never thought(think) enough of yourself to be who and how you want to be. by always giving people what you THOUGHT they wanted, you've continued to lose a sense of self, thereby worsening your self-esteem issues. you gotta accept you, as you are...quiet, shy, smart, Asian, caring. it's only when you feel ok about you on the inside will you attract REAL friends on the outside. UVA is an absolutely awesome place...why don't you do a little research and see what your soon-to-be UVA founder/mentor would have to say about being yourself! i'm serious...see what TJ (Thomas Jefferson, of couse!) would tell you! stay in touch, if you'd like. all the best!</p>
<p>Well, of course you don't want to be shy and quiet in college! That's the point. I think college will definitely make you more outgoing, just because the environment is going to be so awesome and because you will have to.</p>
<p>"People tell me I can be funny, but in a weird, unconventional way that apparently make people laugh"</p>
<p>warning bells when I read that one. Anyways, college is a good time (if ever) to reinvent yourself, since most people will have no idea who you are. What kind of friends do you want? You'll always find a group of kids down to chill, but whether they're the kind you want is a different story. My advice, wear a bit more makeup, change your style and show a little more skin, go to parties, try new things, and you'll have a blast.</p>
<p>I'm asian too and there are way too many quiet nerdy asians that only serve to continue the stereotype...just go have fun and you'll meet fun people.</p>