<p>Is it logical to say that you would be willing to pay full-cost for an Ivy (even though a full-ride is available at a top 20 state flagship), but that you are not willing to pay for a top 3 state university that costs about $10k/year less than an Ivy?</p>
<p>It sounds to me like the parents here are willing to pay whatever for an Ivy because of the prestige factor, and they think that if the prestige doesn't exist, the kid may as well settle for the home-state flagship. The question that really has to be asked is just how much "better" a "top 3" out of state university is than the "top 20" home state university. Frankly, the effective difference between #3 and #20 is just about zip.</p>
<p>Ask yourself "Who is it exactly that dreams up these rankings, and why do we allow ourselves to give a darn about them?" and ask yourself "How much money would USNWR/TIME/Newsweek/BusinessWeek/FavoriteMagazineNameHere fail to earn if they stepped out of the college ranking business for one year?"</p>
<p>It's the parents money. THEY get to decide how they will spend it. And, yes, they are allowed to say "We will pay for an Ivy or our own state U, and that is it."</p>
<p>Think of it this way: mom may get more satisfaction out of saying "My son is at Princeton" than she would out of four $10k jewel necklaces in four consecutive years. So it could be quite logical, and understandable. Whether they should say it is another story.</p>
<p>Frankly, i have never understood parents who say they will pay for an Ivy but are not willing to pay the same amount (that they obviously are able to pay as long as it is an Ivy) for another school of a different caliber/ranking. It is one thing to say, I can't pay for X school when Y school is a full ride. But it is another to say I'll pay that amount for X school but not for Y school if Y is ranked lower. This way of thinking is far from mine. I would pay the SAME amount no matter what school my kids picked. And if they got into an Ivy but preferred another school over it, I'd pay the same and it would be fine (this situation arose for us). I don't care where they go to college and I value it no matter the name, as long my kids are happy at the college, thrive there, and get the most out of it that they can. I don't put a monetary value on some schools over others. I can't imagine what message that gives. I don't even see an Ivy as more worth the money than a tier or two down. A good education is worth it no matter where it is at. And a good education can be found at lots and lots of colleges.</p>
<p>She who has the gold rules.</p>
<p>An Ivy and a Top 3 state school can both take you, educationally, from point A to point B. Those willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars more for the Ivy aren't any different than those willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars more for a Mercedes which will take them from point A to point B just like a Hunday. </p>
<p>It's all relative.</p>
<p>07Dad...while the parents who pay may have the final say.....I am just saying that my point of view is that parents ought to say what they can afford to pay for college but I think the student should get to pick where he/she attends. I realize, as obvious here, that not all parents have such an outlook. Saying one could afford the cost of the Ivy but are unwilling to pay it for another school, is nothing I can relate to. I can relate to parents saying they can't afford the Ivy and so the student needs to go to a cheaper school.</p>
<p>Parents have the right to spend their money any way they wish to. Smart kids can usually make a persuasive case for their own best interests, though ;)</p>
<p>soozievt:</p>
<p>audiophile beat me to it.</p>
<p>"Parents have the right to spend their money any way they wish to."</p>
<p>Certainly, they have the legal right (with some limitations when their children are small, of course). But I disagree, from a moral perspective, that they in fact have the "right" to spend "their" money any way they want. As I've said in another thread, I don't consider "my" money to be "mine," even if I earned it by working. I believe that it was entrusted to me to use properly. If you have that attitude, I think, this question looks different.</p>
<p>I would pay a premium for my child to be at a top tech school (CMU's CS, Caltech, MIT, etc) but would evaluate merit scholarships at more diverse schools. The specialty area was most significant, not the name recognition of school.</p>
<p>I've mentioned this before, but my friend is paying for her S to be at a small, local private college, which is definitely not a top 100 college. He has been nurtured and reinforced, and has absolutely grown in self-confidence. He is studying more now than he ever did and has a terrific GPA and internship. Her "smarter" and more socially succesful S could handle flagship college and blossom wherever, but the younger could have drowned in that environment.</p>
<p>"I would pay the SAME amount no matter what school my kids picked".
No, I can't say I agree.
We look at value when we buy anything...including a college education. Our family looked at cost as a factor. I would not pay four times as much for a place like Syracuse or Boston U (nothing against those schools) compared to our flagship state school. These are big privates, and IMO don't offer much more than respected big publics - unless they have a unique program (like maybe journalism at Syracuse), I just can't see paying four times what our state u costs.<br>
Now, might I pay a bit more for a place like Princeton? You betcha. As long as it was a good fit, the fact is that a name like Princeton came make a difference - and of course, I KNOW my children will get a quality education there. So, yeah, I'm willing to cough up some more.
Hey our kid chose the state u with scholarships over a number of good privates. He picked it not us (we actually liked one of the privates better). But we're saving money for grad school and he's studying abroad...perhaps multiple times. So, you really have to look at the big picture. Money buys much more than just four years at college.</p>
<p>Isn't the question really about the value of an OOS flagship?</p>
<p>I have to agree with toneranger. Quality matters. It did when she was young (I stopped paying for a dance school that didn't teach her anything, but paid more for an excellent school that taught her technique and how to dance), and it matters now. </p>
<p>However, I wouldn't make the distinction based on "Ivy" categorization. We actually made that distinction with similar schools: One school gave her nothing, and others gave her merit money of varying amounts. We could have paid full fare at the former (and if she had gotten into her first choice, would have paid more), but it was not different enough to make the extra $20,000 or $25,000 per year worth it (difference in tuition and in aid).</p>
<p>There are some things, including schools, that are simply not worth the money. Of course, I probably would have discouraged her from applying to the schools I did not believe were worth the money.</p>
<p>Chedva,</p>
<p>I agree with you and tone. I tend to look more at value than cost when I make a purchase. If I can be convinced the value is worth the cost, I'll gladly part with my hard earned cash.</p>
<p>Honestly, for me the question is not nuanced enough to think about other than on a very theoretical level. I'm not a "money rules" or "prestige rules" guy; I trade those things off, and "fit" and quality/breadth/depth in the general areas of interest, too. For me, not all "Ivies" are created equal (although the differences are often vastly overstated), my "top 3" publics aren't the same as everybody else's, and there is a huge range in the "top 20" publics. I have a different reaction to the question of the blanks are filled by Harvard, UNC, and Wisconsin (possibly rational not to pay $30,000 for UNC vs. Wisconsin for free, even if you might pay $40,000 for Harvard), as compared to Cornell, Michigan, and Delaware (Michigan and Cornell are pretty equivalent in my book, and there's a big gap between them and Delaware). I'm not saying my snap responses are "right", even for me if I thought about them harder, just that those two sets don't tell the same story. And that's before considering other things like student interests and family circumstances.</p>
<p>I think it's more than a bit odd that a parent would make that choice. Is prestige worth sending your kid to school that might be the best place for them and possibly alienate them in the process.</p>
<p>Of course parents have a RIGHT to spend their money as they see fit. Also, there is no right or wrong here. I am just sharing MY values. I am willing to pay for a college that my kids like that they can articulate why it is a good fit. I never considered paying more for a "better" school than for a lower ranked one. I value their education and am willing to pay for whichever school that best fits what they want. In my view, a parent would have a right to say how much they can afford for college but I feel it is best for a student to pick where he/she wants to attend. I don't pay MORE for my kids' schools because I perceive their schools as "better schools" but I pay for them because I think they chose schools that were best for them. Had they chosen a school they were admitted to that was ranked lower (my kids never viewed the rankings though and I never paid much attention at the time either), it would be fine by me.</p>
<p>I don't value the education at one school as better than another. I value their education and the best education is one that best fits them. For me, that is priceless.</p>
<p>"I think it's more than a bit odd that a parent would make that choice. Is prestige worth sending your kid to school that might be the best place for them and possibly alienate them in the process."</p>
<p>Worth to whom? to the parent, it very well might be. I'm not saying it "should" be - far from it. But it "might be". </p>
<p>(And, for the vast majority of students, the educational differences are likely to be relatively minor.)</p>
<p>yea worth paying</p>