Would a qualified student disservice himself by not applying to HYPSM level schools?

Applying to College
1

My story is one that many overachieving students probably know.

From 6th grade on I was obsessed with Harvard. Then I switched to Stanford in 8th grade. In 9th grade I got a thing for Brown, and in 10th grade I fell for Princeton and Yale.

Now I’m going to be a senior, and I’ve been agonizing over which colleges to apply to for months. I’ve been very stressed, very anxious to the point where I had to see a therapist about all of my anxiety. Which is very common, and makes a lot of sense, since I’ve been agonizing for my whole high school career on how to get accepted, how to be unique, how to be one of those few in a hundred. A nearly impossible task.

But the reality remains that I’m a second-generation UNHOOKED Asian. No matter what EC’s I have, no matter how good my essays are, my chances are just bad. That’s just the way the game is.

The problem is, I think the selectivity, the eliteness, the unachievableness of Princeton and Yale, is what attracts me to them more than anything else. Don’t get me wrong. I like Princeton’s senior thesis, and I like their undergraduate focus. I like Yale’s diverse and vibrant community. But would I be /dying/ to go to these schools if going there didn’t mean I could feel superior to students at less selective institutions?

No. I would not. Because the reality is, I’m used to being special, and I don’t know if I would thrive in an environment where everyone else is too. I don’t know if I appreciate the class privilege that most students possess before they go in and certainly have once they leave. I know that schools at the HYPSM level offer “unparalleled resources” from research opportunities, to financial aid, to mind-blowing professors. But I also know that many studies have shown that students who are at least qualified to get into the most-selective schools end up doing just as well no matter where they end up. I believe that I’m at least qualified, but that I will only get in if they need a student like me to fill a niche in their community. How am I supposed to fulfill the exact niche they need on their campus, given their applicant pool?

I don’t want to bother to apply, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself with this decision.

Here’s the other side of the story. My parents say that I should apply everywhere, and figure out my options after I get my acceptances. My mom told me about a student from India who applied to thirty U.S. institutions and got rejected from all of them except Harvard. Her point being, there is always a chance.

But I think getting accepted to Princeton or Yale is most important to me because I want these institutions to validate my life choices. I want to allow my immigrant parents to be able to brag to their families. What attracts me more than anything is the exclusivity of these schools.

TL;DR/CONCLUSION:

I was going to apply to Princeton/Yale SCEA but I think what attracts me more than anything to these schools is the exclusivity. I really don’t think that I should go to a hyper-elite institution, but my parents, my guidance counselors, my life experiences all tell me that there is no better way to validate my intelligence and my worth than to apply and get accepted.

I’m not going to post a Chance Me thread. I hope you all trust me when I say that I’m at least qualified to get in. I’m unhooked though.

Would I be doing myself a disservice by not applying to Princeton and Yale? (Applies to the other schools in HYPSM as well, though I personally am not interested in them)

2

I think you just said what every stat obsessed teen subconsciously (or probably consciously) thinks

3

No you wouldn’t be. Immigrant families always think that HYPSM====successful future but that’s simply not the case.

Ivy education does not mean you’re worth more. Employers often want to see what you did in college opposed to where you went.

Also, this is YOUR college admissions process. What’s the point in getting into Harvard if you’re not going to enjoy the experience there.

Sure if you want to brag for a couple of months, then apply to HYPSM and go there if you get accepted. But if you really want to be successful after college, find a good job, go to a good grad school etc., then you will find the college that FITS you best, whether it is an elite institution or not. Numerous examples and testimonials have shown: “Where you go is not who you’ll be.” (This phrase is a title of a book written about Frank Bruni on this subject)

If you get accepted to Princeton for example, will you actually go? If you’re not interested in Princeton, then I would just save the application fee and do something else with it. I would only apply to schools that I want to go (not where my parents want me to go), and where I feel fits me best (based on my personality, interests,likes/dislikes…etc.).

4

@rdeng2614 Agreed. Regarding the last paragraph: even when I was little, I think I independently got interested in elite colleges for the bad reasons stated above. If I got accepted to Princeton or Yale I would consider going (probably for financial aid more than anything) but probably not go and then feel like crap about it.

5

I can assure you that your chance of getting in to Princeton and Yale will be significantly higher if you do, in fact, apply. Don’t have any expectation of getting in, but then again you never know. Just anticipate a rejection until you do in fact get in. I tried to follow this ideology, but I, like most applicants to that tier of school, thought that they had something special going for them and that somehow it would all work out in their favor, and I, like most applicants, probably did not meet whatever unrealistic expectation they held, however much they tried to suppress them. The college application process is not a pleasant one, but you have to play to win. Just make sure you have safeties and matches that you’d be very happy to go to and know that you’ll succeed regardless of where you end up. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get into your dream school. Prestige and bragging rights are nice, but once you have them you’ll see that they’re much less valuable than you thought.

6

Follow your passions. If you can stop being obsessed over what other people think, it’s quite easy.

BTW, an underachiever is someone who achieves less than they are capable of. There is no such thing as an overachiever because that would indicate you are achieving more than you are capable of.

7

First, start your list with a safety that you know you will be admitted to and know that you can afford (talk to your parents, run net price calculators, and check merit scholarships).

8

@JustOneDad Some people might do things they wouldn’t otherwise do in order to look impressive on a college app. I understand why from what I wrote before you would think I was one of those people, but I’m not.

I’m sure that as long as I live I’m going to keep on pursuing the activities I’ve started in high school. So passion isn’t really the issue. I’m just worried that what I have done, even if it is unique, hasn’t distinguished me enough, and that really bothers me. I know that a lot of passionate people even considering applying to super selective colleges feel that way too.

I disagree, because human beings, if they want something bad enough, can overcome physical and mental boundaries in order to fulfill their desires. Personally I know I’m an overachiever because I routinely sacrifice my physical and emotional health to achieve personal goals, which is a little ridiculous.

9

You seem like a very thoughtful honest l person. I’d recommend you apply to both Princeton and Yale and, if accepted to either, I’d urge you to strongly consider attending.

10

@lolojima Don’t worry about making yourself unique. Everybody is already unique through their personality. That’s why letting your personality shine through your essay is so important because everybody’s personality is unique.

11

Apply where you want. That is fine. No harm in a reach school or two (and as you states, those schools are reaches for everyone).
–BUT do not let the decision of a few admissions officers in a room splitting hairs between extremely highly qualified candidates who could all be successful at the institution influence on your view of your life choices and accomplishments. If you get in great, if not it does not diminish who you are as a person or what you have done in academics, ECs etc. .AND instead of worrying about having your immigrant parents brag about what school you get accepted to (and I imagine you will get accepted to a number of excellent schools) focus on what is in your control and be sure they can brag about what a kind, hardworking, fine person you are. Good luck.

12

OP, you said:
“But would I be /dying/ to go to these schools if going there didn’t mean I could feel superior to students at less selective institutions? No. I would not.”

Examine your motives for a second.

Is feeling superior to others a good reason to seek admission to these schools?

If feeling special is important to you, you might want to go to a less selective institution where you can shine instead of a place where you may not always be the smartest person in the room.

Also, if this process is causing you anxiety so severe that you have to see a therapist, is putting yourself in a pressure-cooker situation where you have to duke it out with smart kids for another 4 years to feel special the healthiest choice for you?

As Vader said, “Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”

13

FWIW, the best flagship state schools have resources (if by that you mean faculty, research opportunities, breadth of c courses) comparable to HYPS.

You haven’t mentioned what you want to study (which sounds symptomatic of the problem you’ve outlined). Maybe if you start there and then look at course catalogues and faculty rather than admissions stats you’ll find a different vantage point from which to make a decision.

14

No reason not to apply but the idea that asians, regardless of EC and academics, have little to no chance is completely false. If you’ve looked at what most members of the IMO team (USA. Internationals have a dramatically lower chance, regardless of Asian European etc.) go to, it is rather rare that they don’t get into the ivies and MIT. Anyway, the good parts about these prestigious schools are bragging rights, competition (meeting more people at and above your level) , full need matched, etc. I would apply (and I will) but considering alternatives where you can go full ride is nice too, especially if you go to grad, law, or med school.

15

As a senior, it is too late change much about your app. It is what it is if you are applying SCEA (you may be able to take ACT or SAT a couple of times but that is mostly it).

If you apply SCEA to either Yale or Princeton, most likely outcome is deferred based on their stats if you are not admitted. So you will have to wait until end of March for the true outcomes if you are not admitted. If you can survive that long without knowing the outcome, then you should apply SCEA to one school. Otherwise, just apply regular to all schools if you feel that you may start having to visit your therapist more often based on a deferred outcome.

16

As a (semi) recently graduated senior and a member of the c/o 2015, I think that the biggest thing to remember when going into the college application process is that this is about you. If you can afford applying to these reach schools (namely HYPSM) and have a legitimate reason for wanting to attend (which you do, despite your worries about your focus on the exclusivity), then absolutely apply. You are different from the people that apply to all 8 Ivy league schools hoping to get into one. Best of luck.

17

Prestige and bragging rights are nice, but once you have them you’ll see that they’re much less valuable than you thought. Thanks @Matt486. That’s exactly what I have been trying to explain to my oldest but couldn’t come up with the proper wording. You nailed it!