Would anyone be willing to give a quick critique on my BU supplement essay?

College Essays
1

<p>BU requires two supplement essays and one I've already had some people look over which was 6 sentences long.</p>

<p>However, this time the second essay has to be ~500 words.
Mine happens to be just under 500.
Anyone want to give me some feedback por favor?
I honestly think it's pretty crappy considering I kept getting distracted from the internet ... Haha. So any comments are welcome! Good or bad, it's all great.</p>

<p>By the way, I'm not really looking for swaps/trades, just quick reads.
Sorry!</p>

<p>Pwetty pwease? :)</p>

2

<p>I’ll read it!:slight_smile: but i’m applying as well so if don’t feel comfortable sending me its okay!:)</p>

3

<p>I’m also applying, but PM me if you want!</p>

4

<p>Okay, PM’d it to both of you :slight_smile:
Thanks! And I trust that you guys aren’t going to do anything with it anyways considering the deadline’s tomorrow … Lol.</p>

5

<p>I’ll check it out. I applied there also</p>